[Chipps]

@Swordsman of Mana @Boss

In lieu of derailing the 8 thread (again, lol) I thought I'd bring the conversation here to see how everyone else felt about it.

I made this comment:

When I discovered my type, the clouds parted and small rays of lights shined through. As the sun warmed my skin, I began to hear the angels sing.


^^thats how people think its supposed to feel.




When in reality, you just kind of feel like shit.

When I was originally mistyped as an 8w7, I thought "This is soooo me" when I first read the descriptions, motivations, desires and fears. However, after talking with SOM, Boss and a few others, we've all concluded that in reality discovering your true type makes you feel like crap.

So, I wanted to ask everyone how finding their type made them feel? How did you know it was right? (Boss and SOM feel free to elaborate)

This could be your core, or your whole tritype.

I'll start:



I knew that six was most definitely the correct type for my core, because when Boss suggested it to me on my type me thread, it ignited a wave of anxiety within me. It was like opening a box that had been locked and buried years ago and that I had forgotten about. It took a lot to really accept that type 6 was right. I really didn't want to admit it to myself, and because I have an inferior Si, I had a hard time recalling how it was correct, but it felt right. Does that make sense? I could sense that it fit me but apart of my brain needed proof (go fucking figure right?).

So after I said to myself "Chipps, your core type is NOT 8w7 but 6w5", I felt like shit. I really did. Initially I was really pissed off and taken aback. It was a shock to the system. I felt like it couldn't be true. Like those weren't my motivations, fears, desires. I'd created a whole new image of who I was. I was really sad and disappointed for some reason. I thought "I can't really be like that" or "thats not really who I am". Then, once I got over the fact that it was who I really was, I felt better. From accepting my flaws, I was about to acknowledge them on a conscious level and begin to fix what I didn't like and grow from there.

People dislike the 6 enneagram type because it is seen as weak, and anxious, and worrisome, and doubtful. And, as a 6, all of those things have been true for me at some point in my life. What I've learned, is that the enneagram helps you to acknowledge your fears, desires, motivations. It makes you face them. So, when you have people who try to cherry pick and type and apply it to themselves, they are actually missing out on growth potential. You can't fix a problem if you refuse to admit that it exists. When I was mistyped as an 8, I continued to subconsciously engage in behavior indicative of a 6. <---this is the funniest part about enneagram types. Even if you cherry pick one that sounds cool, or better than your actual one, you will continue to subconsciously engage in the behaviors of your actual type. I've seen mistypes on the forums "slip up" and talk about their behavior in detail, or reactions to things on numerous occasions, that indicates that they are not the type that they think they are. A lot of my old posts scream type 6 looking back at it now, though at the time you might not have been able to convince me of it.

Anyway, I've been thinking that there are levels of type acceptance:

Level 1:Shock
Level 2: Disgust or Embarrassment
Level 3: Sadness or disappointment
Level 4: Type acceptance
Level 5: Growth

P.s. I've just started getting deeper into the enneagram books, so it if I stole that list from an enneagram expert then Oopsies

[Boss]

When I was reading about 3, at first, I laughed--wow that's me. Then, I started to read about the darker, slimier, nastier aspects of my psyche. I started to read about false images and deceptiveness and vanity. I read about failure. And, I read about disintegrating 3s. That's when I wanted to ahem nearly shed some tears.

My first response was: Oh GOD NO! I don't want this. It was just a mix of denial, disbelief and discomfort.

Next stage: This is me. I don't want this to be me, because my neuroses are staring me in the face. But it is what it is.

I just put aside the book I was reading. I didn't really want to focus on it. A conversation between my partner and I was open on my laptop, and just 2 days prior, I had told him that I felt like a broken machine..a nobody..and I didn't want to fade into oblivion. I wanted fame and success, but I felt empty inside (this was my disintegrating phase). I had said a bunch of really 3-ish things.

And reading about it all felt like I was standing before a mirror It was as though I had I seen a gorgeous woman with this proud face. Soon, I started to see the proud face as a mask. Then the mask slowly came off. I started to see inner scars, deception, darkness and vanity. It was ugly. But, it was me. I accepted it, didn't fight it. I realized that it was something I wanted to transcend. I knew that I have to accept it with grace, learn and move on.

[aconite]

Anyway, I've been thinking that there are levels of type acceptance:

Level 1:Shock
Level 2: Disgust or Embarrassment
Level 3: Sadness or disappointment
Level 4: Type acceptance
Level 5: Growth

Kübler-Ross model - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

1. Denial:
No, I'm definitely not that type. This description is soooo not me. Not at all. Of course I'm a different type, you don't know me at all and you have no idea about my motivation.

2. Anger:
What? FUCK YOU I'M NOT TYPE X! How dare you accuse me! This is not my type and it will not be my type in million years, you... you evil, mean, vicious, hateful jerk! THIS IS NOT MY TYPE!

3. Bargaining:
Yes, when you put it that way, I might have some characteristics of type X... but this might be because my heart fix has a wing which integrates to type X, okay? I don't think I'm type X, I just might seem that way because I'm healthy/unhealthy/in a relationship/single/young/mature/today is raining.

4. Depression:
Noooo... I hate being type X, it makes me a failure, all that I wanted is lost. Noooo.... I so want to be another type, any type but not X. Why why why oh woe upon me!

5. Acceptance:
Hmmm, maybe type X is not that bad. It looks like there are some interesting people who are type X. And if I know my type, I can deal with my problems better than before. Let's crush the stereotypes! Type X is cool too!


I don't know if 7 is my "correct" type. I don't think I know enough... and it contains both "not knowing the theory enough" and "not knowing myself enough". This is the best fit so far, I think, but I'm not opposed to changes.

The funny thing is that when I heard about the Enneagram a few years ago, from a friend, I almost immediately dismissed it. He said that I seemed like a 5 or an 8 - I told him immediately that there was no way I'd be an 8, but I pondered Type 5 for a while. I had a gut feeling that I wasn't a 5, and I didn't even bother with reading the 7 description when I saw "outgoing, party-loving, practical" ;)

[Chipps]

@aconite

Lol, thanks. I knew it had to exist somewhere.

[Dark Romantic]

I felt a bit weird. Like "yeah, that IS me... but nah, can't be me". I know the feeling you get when you mistype, as well; it's a sort of exhilaration and a feeling that everything has come together and makes sense. You know it's a mistype, because there isn't any denial that comes with it, either, which you would expect if your flaws, weaknesses, and self-destructive patterns are coming to light.

[alionsroar]

I didn't think much of it since I didn't know much about it. I was just thinking, hmm, 9 seems like it might be a better fit than 5. I'm still not 100% sure I'm a 9.

Now I feel annoyed, because I do everything an average/less healthy 9 does. I feel annoyed because it would be better for me to go against what I have become accustomed to doing. I feel annoyed because my life would probably be far more better if I had changed years ago.

[Steel Magnolia]

I think reactions about this can vary, and some people will go through this process more quickly than others. For me, I was getting lost in behaviours vs. motivations, and having an anxiety disorder messed up my typing. When I found out, the first thought was, "Oh my god, this was so obvious, and I doubted it all along. This really *is* the problem (for me, perfectionism and needing to be seen as a someone who is not bad/corrupt). What have I been doing to myself? Then I proceeded to have a sobbing fit. When that was done with, I was just *so relieved* that I had figured this out- like a weight had been lifted off me.

Now, I am being hit with all these repressed memories. And I can see 1-ish motivations/themes behind many of them. Whereas before, when things like this happened (i.e. having repressed memories come back to me), it was just a distressing thing with no explanation. Now, I still find the repressed memories to be disturbing, but I am glad to know why some things happened the way they did, and why I took the actions I took at various points in my life.

Edited to add: As for my tritype, I was able to piece that together through the process of elimination. None of the other types fit me in any way at all. And 1, 6 and 4 are my three most dominant types. So for me, it didn't take long to piece that together for this reason.

[MelanieM]

I wanted to be a 6w7 so bad, some of my favorite people are 6w7...but I'll settle for 6w5, it has it's "perks".

I do not like my tritype.

I see myself in all the numbers really.

[Chipps]

I wanted to be a 6w7 so bad, some of my favorite people are 6w7...but I'll settle for 6w5, it has it's "perks".

I do not like my tritype.

I see myself in all the numbers really.

Why don't you like your tritype?

[Jennywocky]

I didn't really have any response when I discovered my type -- I mean, I took a test, read the descriptions, and it wasn't even really a question, it was a "duh" moment for me.

I've had more issues trying to determine the extent of Nine mixed in with my 5w4, since I do seem to seek peace rather than conflict and have developed a great deal of diplomatic skill if I desire to use it, and can often "stay at rest." But my core interface with the world was always observational and trying to gather/parse information and understand, and I feared to engage because it was a risk and I might not yet truly understand the situation. The directions of integration and disintegration made a lot of sense of me, personally, in my life.

I just didn't have any bad reaction to being Five. it was just like, "Yup, that's me, for the good and bad, and that describes my life." I just took it as, well... information. :) Which is to be expected.