[Chipps]

Is there no greater purpose in life? Is that all there is to live for or is there something more? Or could it be that the cruelty of the world leaves this as the most one could realistically hope for?

I don't believe in looking out for number one. I believe in looking out for everyone but answering to no one. Do I want anyone's approval or do I follow anyone's standards? Hell no. I do it because I love my fellow human beings. Why? Because I want to (essentially this is what saying "it's what I believe in" boils down to). There's no standard anywhere that expects me to love everyone...except for the one in my own heart and mind (actually, everything and everyone in my life tries to discourage me from this). I love all of you here on PerC too, even those who encourage selfishness and hate.



Do I care what you think of me? No. Do I care what you think of yourselves? Absolutely. I'm here to challenge myself and to challenge you. When you spitefully say "I'm special and they're not" that's using hate to cover your vulnerability. Is that what you want to settle for? It's an easy way out but that road leads nowhere. ENFP's have a natural talent for reaching people, you could let it go to waste or you could use it to try to give something back. If the world's full of haters, do you know how to fight that? By being a lover.

I don't understand how my original posts weren't clear? Everyone else seemed to have understood them exactly as they were meant to be understood. Anyhow, if you don't understand them, too bad. I don't care. I've grown tired of this exchange. I don't see the point of it. Take it however you want.

[Le Beau Coeur]

Maybe a bit now and then but...I get the feeling that some people actively look for ways to put others down so, I wouldn't take it too personally. If someone says negative things about you it says more about them than it does about you.

[Tulipgarden]

Maybe a bit now and then but...I get the feeling that some people actively look for ways to put others down so, I wouldn't take it too personally. If someone says negative things about you it says more about them than it does about you.

I think that is what I think, also. There is always going to be someone who has to put someone else down to make themselves feel better and sometimes I just feel sorry for the person who is doing the "put downs" cause you just never know why they are the way they are.

My youngest daughter gets really offended by put downs or "perceived put downs" (because she can make anything look like a put down) but when it is an honest to goodness put down...then I say "Awww, that kid either needs a friend or their parents are probably mean to them and they don't know any better". It seems to help her realize its not her fault and it's really not. We can't control what other people think or say, for the most part. THe only thing we have control over is how we react to it.

And she is learning some really good comebacks just in case the kid doesn't need a friend. lol

@Chipps I got what you were saying.

[KookyTookie]

I don't understand how my original posts weren't clear? Everyone else seemed to have understood them exactly as they were meant to be understood. Anyhow, if you don't understand them, too bad. I don't care. I've grown tired of this exchange. I don't see the point of it. Take it however you want.

Don't worry about it, I understood you - and I'm a complete and utter nutbag. It can't be THAT difficult ;)

On the subject of being 'selfish' - I actually fully embrace this part of me now. Obviously, when it comes to people I actually care about I will always try and ensure my 'selfish' tendencies aren't hurting them. Being selfish suits me. It makes me more assertive, it makes me stronger; and this in turn makes me a wiser and more productive person.

I tried the whole sacrificing myself to 'please people' and 'be nice to everyone' thing when I was younger. It didn't get me anywhere - why? Because I'm an Fi-aux, and in order to maintain this ALL the time I had to sacrifice part of who I am. This made me unhappy. This turned me into an evil axe-wielding psycho bitch who resented everyone for not appreciting how much I had forsaken to try and make THEM happy.

Moral of the story? Accept who you are and EMBRACE it. Screw what others think.

[Ace Face]

There's no hiding the truth. I am strange, but I can't say that I don't prefer it that way.

[Undoubtedly]

Yes.. People act like I'm a total weirdo because I know tons of random stuff.
Here's part of some conversations I've actually had"
Tyler: "Hey Micah, *looks at a picture on his phone* what do you call it when an animal has two different coloured eyes?"
Me: "Heterochromia.. Is it in the center of the eye, just a corner on the eye, or two full eyes with different colours."
Tyler: "Whoa...."
Random person: "He watches JEOPARDY!"
Me: "Actually.. I do.. But I read about that one on Wikipedia. :D"
Tyler: "You're so weird.."

[MuChApArAdOx]

@Chipps and @MuChApArAdOx- I agree with both, because I can very well relate with this. I'm still a teen, but I've managed to care very less of what others think. It really doesn't bothers me much and even when it does, I give a fuck to it. And this improvement in me, really feels good. I'm still improving, and someday when I reach your age, I will successfully achieve it fully. I believe. :)

I'll give you a personal example of when i would care what others think. At work if my boss was to give me other solutions in terms of how i proceed with my decisions, it would be important/valuable to me what she thinks. I wouldn't say f**k her, because i know she is giving me logical solutions in order to see me become more successful in my position. She isn't challenging me emotionally, only logically. When people challenge me emotionally by trying to tell me how i/suppose to feel about people, places, things, then i have issues, my Fi goes bonkers. I wouldn't go around in life thinking its o.k to never been challenged or need approval, you just need to pick and choose which ones will be of use in the bigger picture. Caring what people think vs caring about other people are two entirely different things. We can care very much about others without accepting their challenges/ or how they can impose on us emotionally in terms of agreeing with or standing by what drives them emotionally towards their subjective/objective morals and values. ENFP values are subjective, it's not surprising that we have our own standards what is good/bad/wrong/right. If we are comfortable in our positions, the opinions of others won't fly unless we see value in it for us personally, and that value for me personally is those who matter or will have a direct impact on my life. Hope this makes sense :)

I don't want to lead you believing that being accepted by others isn't important because it is. You will come to learn where to draw that line :)

[liza_200]

I'll give you a personal example of when i would care what others think. At work if my boss was to give me other solutions in terms of how i proceed with my decisions, it would be important/valuable to me what she thinks. I wouldn't say f**k her, because i know she is giving me logical solutions in order to see me become more successful in my position. She isn't challenging me emotionally, only logically. When people challenge me emotionally by trying to tell me how i/suppose to feel about people, places, things, then i have issues, my Fi goes bonkers. I wouldn't go around in life thinking its o.k to never been challenged or need approval, you just need to pick and choose which ones will be of use in the bigger picture. Caring what people think vs caring about other people are two entirely different things. We can care very much about others without accepting their challenges/ or how they can impose on us emotionally in terms of agreeing with or standing by what drives them emotionally towards their subjective/objective morals and values. ENFP values are subjective, it's not surprising that we have our own standards what is good/bad/wrong/right. If we are comfortable in our positions, the opinions of others won't fly unless we see value in it for us personally, and that value for me personally is those who matter or will have a direct impact on my life. Hope this makes sense :)

I don't want to lead you believing that being accepted by others isn't important because it is. You will come to learn where to draw that line :)

Yes. This. I only care what my close people (like parents) think of me, because their opinion values a lot to me. What I meant is that, before this I use to care what each person think of me (maybe I don't even know them properly, and only by face), and if it was negative, I use to feel bad about myself. That 'feeling bad' attitude is long gone now. And as for what they think, I don't care for it (and I'm still improving in this section) until it is something which is logical. But yes, you're right. It will be more and more better as I become an adult. :)

[Chipps]

Don't worry about it, I understood you - and I'm a complete and utter nutbag. It can't be THAT difficult ;)

On the subject of being 'selfish' - I actually fully embrace this part of me now. Obviously, when it comes to people I actually care about I will always try and ensure my 'selfish' tendencies aren't hurting them. Being selfish suits me. It makes me more assertive, it makes me stronger; and this in turn makes me a wiser and more productive person.

I tried the whole sacrificing myself to 'please people' and 'be nice to everyone' thing when I was younger. It didn't get me anywhere - why? Because I'm an Fi-aux, and in order to maintain this ALL the time I had to sacrifice part of who I am. This made me unhappy. This turned me into an evil axe-wielding psycho bitch who resented everyone for not appreciting how much I had forsaken to try and make THEM happy.

Moral of the story? Accept who you are and EMBRACE it. Screw what others think.

Its not selfish. You can't take care of other people around you if you aren't at peace with yourself first.

Also, all people are selfish. Thats one thing I've noticed. So rather than try to feign selflessness I just joined the party.

[KookyTookie]

Its not selfish. You can't take care of other people around you if you aren't at peace with yourself first.

Also, all people are selfish. Thats one thing I've noticed. So rather than try to feign selflessness I just joined the party.

You're right, it's not selfish.

I'm so used to being told I'm 'selfish' that I like to wear a big metaphorical T-Shit that says, "I'm Selfish and proud. DEAL WITH IT"

I know I don't have to. I just like pissing certain types of people off