Hello ENFPers! I have been reading all the articles about ENFP children, all ring true for my 7 yo son. The problem? School. Help me to understand him better, discipline him appropriately and be a better parent please. :D Perhaps this post may help ENFP children understand the struggles of their parents as well.
He is my "happy child." I can always count on hearing his laughter or silly joke. I can always count on him to be affectionate. Before I typed him as an ENFP, his imagination and "tall tales" as a young child made me raise my eyebrows a few times. I call him "a friend to all." He is my sweet sweet boy. Am I a strict parent? I suppose that depends on someone else's interpretation. Some rules I do not waiver and some rules are flexible/situational. You have to realize that unless I am consistent in my rules, my kids will walk on me like a doormat. He is the only extrovert in the house ... mom, dad and brother being introverts ... but I don't expect him to behave like an introvert (we have activities for him.) I can only imagine what it is like for him to be with people who enjoy keeping to themselves, but he does not drain our energy. There is never a dull moment with him around, and it's most often that bit of sunshine we all love and need in our daily lives.
Now for the other side. I can count on asking him to do something 10 times (on my time, not his or it will never get done ... already tried that.) There are times where he puts me (and his brother and father) on the brink of "losing it" b/c what we ask/say goes in one ear and out the other ... unless he "wants" to hear it. (Does it really just poof?)
I believe he is bored in his class (1st grade and only 3 weeks left of school.) On average (about once a week), his behavior in class is less than desirable (usually sent home with a note.) The #1 reason is talking. Talking, talking, talking. #2 Now and then is inability to sit still during reading time (on the rug.) He is having no trouble in academics. His report card's only flaw is in regards to behavior.
I understand that this is just part of who he is, but at the same time he does need to learn impluse control in order to not be disruptive in class. I have tried various disciplinary styles, such as taking away priviledges. Postive reinforcement (giving stars on his good days which he can cash in once he collects enough.) Nothing seems to get through to him. Now the punishment is chores. I think it seems to be working (the playroom is always a wreck, I used to clean it up about once or twice a month.) I believe I am fair and also forgiving. It is not difficult to earn back my trust.
So my question is this: Is his behavior normal for him in class? Can you relate? What kind of punishment WORKED for you at his age? Can you describe something your parents did that affected you in a positive or negative way? Any other suggestions?