[ENFP] Opposite types dynamic (ENFP/ISTJ)

Opposite types dynamic (ENFP/ISTJ)

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This is a discussion on Opposite types dynamic (ENFP/ISTJ) within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Opposite types dynamic (ENFP/ISTJ)

    I've been thinking a lot about this phrase:

    “It turns out that an eerie type of chaos can lurk just behind a facade of order - and yet, deep inside the chaos lurks an even eerier type of order”

    Relating this to MBTI, it describes the enfp/istj dynamic, of how enfps are secretly Neo-ISTJs.

    We ENFPs are the 'even eerier type of order'...
    I think we both have parts of ourselves that are orderly and chaotic but there's always that dominant preference.

    Searching for equilibrium:

    like, a Person A is order dominant and Person B is chaos dominant.

    when they meet, each person finds the other interesting because person B is heading for chaos (something he/she lacks because she's Chaos), she finds that deep inside Person A's Order, lies a facade of Chaos that person B craves and would never be that way, so being with that person's influence, she may balance out her chaos and eventually be the 'chaotic' that she wants to be.

    I think if you're orderly, that means you're more chaotic than me and i'm more orderly than you, but equilibrium comes forth when opposites are together and we fuse.

    What do you think? That's why opposites attract anyways, right?

    PS: This is not describing ISTJ relationships with enfps, it's more towards opposite personalities... But I confused myself on the way.
    MilkyWay132 thanked this post.

  2. #2

    I'm not entirely sure I grasp your point... I'll reread it later. Just throwing this out there, though...

    We ENFPs, speaking in terms of MBTI, use Ne-Fi-Te-Si in that order.

    ISTJs are "reverse ENFPs" because they use Si-Te-Fi-Ne... the same functions, only reversed! :)

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    ::digesting your post:: o_O
    Last edited by shedreamt; 03-06-2012 at 01:04 AM.
    PhoebeJaspe and Owfin thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    There are so many variables that it's nearly impossible to narrow it down to something as simple as "Personality Type A Matches Personality Type B"

    Maturity plays a huge role, along with emotional/social health. Dealing with any unhealthy type is likely to leave anyone swearing off of them forever. As an example, a negative ENFP can be an emotionally needy, drama-craving beast, constantly on a sugar high of endless energy so they never stop to consider why it is that they're unhealthy. Pair that with any sane person, and however endearing it starts out, they're going to want to run within a month. And an immature ISTJ may get very stuck on ideas of proper behavior and nitpick someone who may not have the same kind of work ethic or get-it-done mentality. These are just two examples....there are numerous others even for just those two types. >.> But just imagine those two attempting a relationship. The ISTJ stressing as they strive to maintain stability....the ENFP emoting all over the place, trying to make things more REAL...neither getting what they need out of the relationship. ><

    Healthy, mature people of any type are much more likely to have a positive relationship that doesn't end in disillusionment and disappointment....but it takes honesty, trust, and communication. Sometimes things don't work out, but that has more to do with the individuals than whatever they label themselves as.

    There is something to be said for the appeal of someone who brings novelty to the table, but like interests matter too. You can only have so many differences before you have nothing in common and no real place to start.
    Kintsugi, LaurenEloise, PhoebeJaspe and 1 others thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I'm thinking Phoebe should specialize in personality theory, become a professor, and write a bunch of papers on this stuff. Seems like she's thinking about it at a very high level!

    I don't really get it, I DO; however, know a bunch of ISTJs really well. Such as one of my best friends, and a brother-in-law. In my experience they're both easy to get along with, I don't think I've fought with either of them...Maybe ever? That said, I find them soooo down to earth it gets boring, and they find me so flaky they just sort of shake their head and change the conversation: We can't discuss anything abstract. Another wierd thing I've noticed: My "inner" life is filled with imagination and dreaming, so the entertainment I pursue is often concrete stuff: documentaries, non-fiction books, pop culture (sort of concrete..).

    Whereas those ISTJs I know seek out lots of comedy, fantasy-based stuff. I enjoy a BIT of that too, but in my life at least: "mental" opposites attract (speaking of entertainment), so I'm entertained by stuff they seem to find boring, and vice versa. We can't seem to sit down to watch the same TV, music, or read the same books.
    PhoebeJaspe and LaurenEloise thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    Um, I just hang around here because the threads are interesting.
    quadrivium, shedreamt, Kintsugi and 1 others thanked this post.

  8. #7
    Unknown Personality

    I think the opposite attraction in a relationship will only become harmony if the music they are creating together is flowing in the same direction, on the same page. I think this is exactly the case between ENFP/ENTJ and ENFP/INTJ relationships. Because of the N, they are on the same page, flowing in the same direction, but the NF vs. NT difference in them causes harmonization. They compliment each other like colors on the color wheel.

    If you get too opposite in personality, meaning, you aren't even on the same page or flowing in the same direction; you no longer have harmonization...instead you have a jumble of chaotic sounds that won't flow together. Instead, they will clash against each other. Of course, there are variations in personalities, but I can speak for myself when I say I most certainly harmonize much better with fellow N's over S's.

    NF and NT, when both mature, compliment each other greatly. They bring out the best in each other; making them more well-rounded individuals.
    J.A.Future, Kintsugi, quadrivium and 4 others thanked this post.

  9. #8

    I only know 1 ISTJ, we have our ups and downs. We honestly don't take the other too seriously , mostly because we don't have to live with the other. We can have great conversations and debates about different topics, although our interest in topics that go more into depth are much different. I find him to be boring at times, he finds me to be too fickle. We can come to common ground , although sometimes it can be draining for both of us. He tells me my mind is so opened my brains will fall out, i tell him he has tunnel vision. I don't think relationships should require tons of work, communication should just naturally flow. I can't say i would get this in a relationship with an ISTJ, it would be too challening. Now don't get me wrong i LOVE a good challenge, just not in a way that we're heading in two entirely different directions.
    Enfpleasantly and PhoebeJaspe thanked this post.

  10. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I enjoy what ENFPleasantlyBrainy wrote. (In general, I really enjoy her sense of life and find much common ground with her particular ENFP flavor.) But personally, I find great harmony with my ENTJ husband because of the balance of the TJ. But the type I have the most difficulty with is the ISTJ. This is because the TJ is foreign to me and they do not have the common ground to filter life through the EN. For an ENFP, our inferior type, meaning our "garbage can"... the place we go when we melt down and go to the zoo is Introverted Sensing. So as a matter of life, an IS lives in the field of our meltdowns. That can be handy to have when we really ARE self-destructing, but the IS is not a part of our healthy selves. This is explained more in the Lenore Thompson book, "Personality Type: An Owners Manual." BTW- that is the BEST type watching book I have ever read, but not for beginners. After you've read everything else and are ready to get into the *theory* behind type and understanding the interaction impacts of the letters upon each other, it is par excellence. What I said above comes from a particular part of the book where she explains how when people become highly stressed, "meltdown", their letters flip in predictable patterns. Ever notice how you go to bed, don't move, stare into space, roll all of the hopeless scenarios in your head, feel like giving up, take one piece of data and create paradigms around them when you meltdown? As ENFP's, that's our unhealthy IS taking over in the particular way that it manifests in us, and Lenore Thompson says all types should not even TRY to develop their inferior function. It's poison to them all.
    Enfpleasantly and PhoebeJaspe thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    @Alysaria @Enfpleasantlybrainy @ Everyone

    I totally understand what you guys are saying.

    But the question is, do we pair ourselves with someone different from us just to develop ourselves to be someone better? To seek this mysterious thing that we possess but we don't possess? To transcend to another being? I guess it's all to create harmony and equilibrium within ourselves.

    Maybe unhealthy INTPs like H.P Lovecraft dwelled deep within his Ti, the fact that he doesn't need to be with anyone and he could develop himself. Which is wrong because he died unhappy and writing depressing books. This relates to other people with dominant functions that take over their whole personality.
    So are we all looking for this equilibrium? Are we all not capable of influencing/developing ourselves? It just seems so determined.

    Phrases like:
    "You bring the best out of me."
    "You make me happier."
    "I'm nicer to people when I talk to you."
    "I feel more sane when I'm with you."

    Things like this, is somewhat selfish... It has come to a point where it just seems like such a contradiction on a higher level. If you think about it, it's more to do with yourself at the end anyway. No one is proper giving, which makes me cringe.

    Maybe I'm dwelling on it too much. :( Meeps.

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