I'm leaving. He's staying. I'm happy. He's pissed.

**Hot Pocket** · 11-23-2009 11:00 AM

It's my senior year of high school. I've been hellbent on leaving for five years.

I fell in love with someone, and him with me.

in this past couple of years, since about 1/3rd of last school year to now. I was a little messed up then having some issues with family and with my best friend/ex him and I broke up in January, and then I started dating the boy of whom I speak.

the next six months had it's up and downs, I was depressed most of the time, down and missing the other person, trying really hard to get over it, but was too stupid and immature to notice who I had right in frount of me. him and I broke up in June, I broke his heart without meaning to (and INTP's yeah, it's weird when they show a lot of feeling)

I told him yesterday that I have decided to leave, it was a tearful horrible time, and he was sweet about it, trying to calm me down. and then I told him that I wanted him to make a choice on if he wanted to stay with me while I was here, or if he didn't want to "waste his time" (his words not mine) to leave me now before it'd get any harder.

Today, he is a jerk about it, making me feel horrible for doing what is best for me even though I begged him to come with me, why in the hell is he acting like this?

he told me loving me isn't enough to stay.

I don't understand how his Ti, makes him THAT unfeeling :(

**knght990** · 11-23-2009 11:46 AM

Its a defense mechanism.

I'm going to answer your question based on my experience and observation. I may inadvertently cause you pain as you seem to already be hurting. I'm sorry in advance.

I think, in his opinion, you made light of his feelings. So now he is going to bury them so they wont hurt as much. You put an expiration date on how long he is allowed to love you. You told him that high school love isn't real love and that at the end of school its over. If someone i loved told me that they were going to leave me in 4 months, i would leave them too, only immediately and spend that 4 months looking for someone who wants to find out if they are willing to spend the rest of their life with me. I know you don't see it that way, but he does.
He isn't trying to make you feel bad about what your doing for you, he is trying to prevent himself from feeling bad about being found wanting.
I know that because it did happen.

**Hot Pocket** · 11-23-2009 01:01 PM

it's hurtful mainly because he won't TALK to me about it, because I should know he's an INTP, how the eff do I read him? I just don't understand what he want's me to do.

leaving in about, nine months, and I want him to come with me, but the reality of it is, he doesn't want to, and I am getting punished for it

**Ginraine** · 11-23-2009 05:03 PM

I'm sorry you're having to deal with that, I know it's a fairly painful experience... I'm not going through that, but something similarly painful.
I've never really understood my INTP friends' thoughts or feeling the few times they have been expressed. I hope it turns out okay in the end... just remember to be the headstrong young woman I'm sure you are, men like to get their way, ESPECIALLY INTP men, I have one for a twin.

**Hot Pocket** · 11-23-2009 05:20 PM

oh god. I can only THINK how big of a pain in the ass THAT must be xD

and I feel pretty shitty about it all, but his emotions are overcoming his Ti and he is being a jerk :(

**Ginraine** · 11-23-2009 05:28 PM

Yeah, they do that... my nickname for my twin is 'Egotistical Asshole' when he's upset over something... it's quite a way to wear an ENFP down if you ask me.

**Hot Pocket** · 11-23-2009 05:47 PM

The thing that bugs me most about this is that I know this isn't how he is. He is sweet and isn't an asshole at all. So when he does shit like this I'm like "wtf?" I know he is better then this, I'm hopeing when I go to his house tomorrow that this will all get settled and we do what's best for both of us

**Ginraine** · 11-23-2009 05:49 PM

I can agree with that, best of luck to you my friend. I feel the same about my ESTP that I am so obsessed with... but I'm beginning to thing I need to look more for and NTP... He isn't coming back anyways.

**Hot Pocket** · 11-23-2009 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by Ginraine

I can agree with that, best of luck to you my friend. I feel the same about my ESTP that I am so obsessed with... but I'm beginning to thing I need to look more for and NTP... He isn't coming back anyways.

*hug*

I'm sorry, I know how that goes I remember my ISFP, us feelers need thinkers.