[liza_200]

I don't know why but I've started growing a disgust for my surrounding people..they're so insensitive and brainless, they only think of themselves and their welfare..without even bothering about the consequences others gonna face or suffer from!



I simply don't know how to express this..even if I examples, I can't understand how to express it here. I simply feel disgusted!!

Well, I'm here to ask for you people's suggestion. I don't know..maybe you people also have passed through this stage of life, how did you react when you faced injustice or intolerable, typically illogical cases?

[sundown]

I used to get caught up on random emotional tangents about things beyond my control all the time. If things are beyond my control and they suck, why would I waste time thinking about them? Just gonna get me down and accomplish nothing.

Instead I choose to focus and pay attention to things that make me happy AND let me make a difference in the world. like teaching children and sharing good music or a good book. The individual is the most important unit of civilization, with that in mind, if you took even one of those stupid, insensitive people and managed to connect them with something real and significant, that would be worth the effort.


EDIT: Nevermind I can remember feeling how you feel I think. Imagine being confronted with complete and utter bullshit that should never ever happen ever and when it does some motherfucker needs a good punch in the face but there's nobody around to do it but you and you can't because you will get legally fucked up. I live in China right now and due to the culture here spousal abuse occasionally happens in public, like, full out beatings on the fucking street. I've seen this shit three times in two years and I just shut down and lose it. You want to talk about injustice? If I get involved at all I will be thrown in jail as the 'foreigner who doesn't understand Chinese ways'. People don't get involved in another person's marriage here after the vows are said, period.

You know what, I don't know how I deal with it. Pretty sure the only way I know how is to avoid thinking about it and continuing on with my life.

[Rube]

@liza_200:

Do you think that perhaps you're perceiving the people around you negatively because you're unhappy with yourself? As Carl Jung said, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a greater understanding of ourselves." Besides, even if the people around you are selfish and insensitive, being angry with them won't help anything. The only way to make others more compassionate is to show them compassion first; to be the change you want to see.

[liza_200]

I used to get caught up on random emotional tangents about things beyond my control all the time. If things are beyond my control and they suck, why would I waste time thinking about them? Just gonna get me down and accomplish nothing.

Instead I choose to focus and pay attention to things that make me happy AND let me make a difference in the world. like teaching children and sharing good music or a good book. The individual is the most important unit of civilization, with that in mind, if you took even one of those stupid, insensitive people and managed to connect them with something real and significant, that would be worth the effort.

I've tried that out. Each time I try to focus on something good, these foolish keeps on interfering in my life with their stupid problems and gossips. I simply have no idea of how to remove them from my life. Here's an example of my ESFJ friend. Yeah, I concede that I'm an extrovert too but I can't talk the way she does! It literally kills me..! Each and everytime I try to focus on my thoughts and feelings, she'll HAVE to come and interrupt it everytime! Even if I ask her to get lost, she will. But after a few minutes, she'll come back again. To a certain extent, I feel like I'm being forced to talk to her.I don't like her that much but she's of a great use to me (in a materialistic way), so even if she's irritating and ridiculous, I need her maybe...( but even she needs me). I'm helpless in this matter. ENFPs, you know how you feel when you're forced to talk, you can feel my problem when I will have to talk about silly, idiotic matters with idiots. Each everyday for 6-7 hours.

She is not my only problem..but yes, a major one.

[liza_200]

@liza_200:

Do you think that perhaps you're perceiving the people around you negatively because you're unhappy with yourself? As Carl Jung said, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a greater understanding of ourselves." Besides, even if the people around you are selfish and insensitive, being angry with them won't help anything. The only way to make others more compassionate is to show them compassion first; to be the change you want to see.

Well..I cannot say that I'm unhappy with myself. But I'm kinda to see people being so insensitive and heartless towards others. I've tried to bring compassion but that have only hurt me. I think the best way is to, try to quit myself and meditate..will that help to focus?

[Rube]

Well..I cannot say that I'm unhappy with myself. But I'm kinda to see people being so insensitive and heartless towards others. I've tried to bring compassion but that have only hurt me. I think the best way is to, try to quit myself and meditate..will that help to focus?

Yes, that might help you focus. But it's not the only way. Maybe just try taking 15 minutes out of your day to write down your feelings in a journal if they're bothering you. That might help you learn more about where your feelings are coming from, as well as giving you a chance to focus on things that you think are important.

I'm a helpless in this matter. ENFPs, you know how you feel when you're forced to talk, you can feel my problem when I will have to talk about silly, idiotic matters with idiots. Each everyday for 6-7 hours.

I can understand why this would be frustrating, as we all need some alone time. But while the things your friend talks about may seem silly to you, they are very important to her. This doesn't mean she's an idiot, because different things are important to different people. What sorts of topics does she talk to you about?

[liza_200]

Yes, that might help you focus. But it's not the only way. Maybe just try taking 15 minutes out of your day to write down your feelings in a journal if they're bothering you. That might help you learn more about where your feelings are coming from, as well as giving you a chance to focus on things that you think are important.

I know the things which are significant in my life..but the problem is, I can't focus on them because of these people. And even if I try to..it seems hard, these feelings keeps on pestering me. But I guess, maturity will overcome them. I'll someday realize and see the world as it is. I guess it's a just a phase will I've have to pass through at this age of my life.

I can understand why this would be frustrating, as we all need some alone time. But while the things your friend talks about may seem silly to you, they are very important to her. This doesn't mean she's an idiot, because different things are important to different people. What sorts of topics does she talk to you about?

She loves gossiping about people. What is this person wearing, what is that person doing, who told this, who told that, how is this person, how that person should be etc etc. She gives me big dialogues like 'I hate that so and so person', ' they deserve this and all' and so on, but she'll praise him/her in front of him/her. She backbitches about them to me, which I utterly HATE. And she's like 'know it all' person, even if she doesn't knows anything, she'll pretend like she knows everything but when I ask her, she avoids the topic and makes up a story. (which I hate once again) I'm not sure but I heard that she spoke rubbish about me at my back..but probably, some time back ( many months ago), I heard she told something about me to someone but I didn't believe because I didn't see it by myself (I simply don't know whom to believe). She has denied the fact when I had asked her. I told her that she's ridiculous, but now it's too late to kick her out, because she seems to more attached to me. But I still dislike her because she's unreliable, and really annoying.

[Azure Bass]

"If they gossip to you...They'll be the first to gossip about you."

[liza_200]

"If they gossip to you...They'll be the first to gossip about you."

Okay...now, start giving me tips of how to murder an ESFJ.I'll soon loose my patience towards her. She's incredibly intolerable in every way.

[Azure Bass]

Okay...now, start giving me tips of how to murder an ESFJ.I'll soon loose my patience towards her. She's incredibly intolerable in every way.

I would suggest to talk with her about the problems you have with her. I'd do so in a polite manner if I were you but that's just my style. Rube's right about being the change you want to see. If you want her to treat you better I'd suggest showing her that she is treating you badly to begin with. It sounds like you're just suppressing your problems and then complaining about them. I don't know your situation fully. I'm sure you could figure out your best course of action though.