[shedreamt]

What have your experiences been like? Did you ever feel like it was hard to get the person to be "real" with you and talk about their true feelings? Were you able to confront eachother about problems?

I know what dom and aux Fe users are like in friendships, but Ive never bern in a solid romantic relationship one. Any of you date infjs, enfjs, or esfjs?

[Compassionate Misanthrope]

No but I need the people I'm even close friends with to care more about their own core than what other people think/feel. I don't trust people who have flexible values.

The one confirmed ENFJ I know has different values depending on who she's talking to or what the situation is. I doubt that this can be generalized to the whole type, but this is my basic understanding of Fe... if I'm wrong tell me. I would like to be.

[JollyBard]

if I'm wrong tell me. I would like to be.

An Fe user's values aren't set in stone, but they don't change with the person they're talking about. The only value they usually have is utilitarianism, as in people's general well-being is the only important thing. And not just their friends, it applies to everyone.

[KookyTookie]

My 'Fe' friends are great when I am in a complete crisis ...and I've lost touch with myself....my feelings....everything (it happens) They are the people who pick me up, give me the care I need, and provide the incredible selfless support that they are capable of giving.


The only downside is I find I can sometimes feel smothered by their 'caring.' In the past I have tended to react impulsively against those who have strong views concerning what they consider is 'best' for me. As I'm growing older though, I am learning to appreciate our differences...and respect the fact that I should always listen to their advice...and not just run off and do something crazy; in attempt at trying to prove a point...or just for the plain fun of being a 'rebel'

we all have things we can learn from one another

[chimeric]

I wouldn't make huge global generalizations based on this, but in my relationship with an ENFJ, I knew he deeply felt that he loved me, but I had a constant nagging feeling that he did not (could not) actually understand me. He was one of the most ethical, caring, and honest people I've ever known.

[SenhorFrio]

My best friend is an INFJ, he is really cool and we can talk about anything really. But he almost never talks about his own feeling, and internalizes alot of things, i guess it's a bit of the introversion and the Fe combined. It's not like he isn't being real so much as he just keeps his emotions to himself. It is weird the contrast between me wearing my heart on my sleeve and him

[pascal]

Blahhh.... SO much emotion about this topic.

Everyone in my family is Fe......... and 99% of conversations drive me seriously crazy. I personally feel like there is something about this that makes communicating so difficult. For me, the Fi is like super precious and so when I share my feelings I take it really seriously. With the Fe, it's like when they try to share feelings.... it sounds like what feelings should sound like... but the actual feelings are missing... and then I just get confused and annoyed and avoid all conversations of this nature.... Bleh

Talking about anything that is not myself is generally fine and great though

[shedreamt]

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I can't help but think there has to be a way to connect with their Fi. The whole anti confrontation business makes things difficult though. Still working on how to confront people about tough issues myself. I usually impulsively tear up/cry when talking about something emotionally charged ugh! I'm having issues with an infj not being honest so that's why i asked the question.Not sure whether to let things go and distance myself from him or try to have a frank discussion about his manipulative tactics...

[firelink]

@shedreamt

infj are more at ease to express by writing , maybe something that can be tested.
I remember that I have sometime wrote something that surprise myself too :)

INFJ hate drama, so try to not be too impulsive . One of the reason they hate it , is because it will bring out their darkest part that they always try to keep under control. (at least for healty and mature infj ) The manipulative tactic are something from maturity issue. Infj need a lot of time to really open.

take a look at theses infj thread from infj home :
darkside of force INFJs... Define your "darkside"
many face of infj INFJs... Define your "darkside"