[Mindgamess]

So, I have been dating this guy for 4 months. I know, it doesn't seem like much, but, for some background, I was engaged and in that relationship for 3 years, so this isn't a first relationship and I know what a serious relationship is like.

ISTJ and ENFP statistics would should that it is not an easy match up. People tend to get along better with people that are more similar to them, and ISTJ and ENFP share the same functions but in the opposite order as follows:

ISTJ- Si > Te > Fi > Ne
ENFP- Ne > Fi > Te > Si

This combination can be good and bad. A lot of stress can come from not perceiving the world in the same way and getting similar information to act upon. Also the fact that an ISTJ is thinking about what needs to be done and acting upon that (Te), the ENFP will be acting upon their Fi and generally have very different priorities.

Anyway, here is my list of pros and cons

Pros

1. Similar functions allows you to be able to understand each other if you communicate well even though you naturally do not think the same way.
2. Having functions in the opposite order means the other person is strong in functions that you are not. You are able to create balance.
3. ENFPs can generally read people better and get vibes, whereas ISTJs can see all the signs. You both have different perceptions and when you put them together, you get the whole picture.
4. Being with an opposite helps develop weak functions.

Cons:

1. Have different priorities.
2. ISTJs are regimented and ENFPs thrive by being abe to try new things and do not like adhering to strict schedules
3. ISTjs like routine and ENFP gets stifled by routine
4. Communication styles can be very different

Ways to make it work:

1. ISTJs- Make sure you let them know that their ideas are welcome and don't tell them how to do things. Let them try out their methods. If you want to suggest an alternative method, say something like, "If I were you, I would do this because x, y, z."
2. ISTJs- If you need to ask them to do something for you, don't give them time tables. Let them know it is important to you and if they care about you, they will make sure it gets done because it is important to you.
3. ISTJs- Listen to them (and their ideas) completely before passing judgement.
4. ENFPs- Realize that things that you may find minute really probably bother an ISTJ. Try and be mindful of some of the little things. [Cleaning, keeping things orderly, etc.] We are sensors and notice our environment a lot.
5. ENFPs- Take things that are serious, seriously.
6. ENFPs- Always be direct with an ISTJ. We aren't as good at picking up some vibes. We want to improve and fix things. Don't let things fester.
7. ENFPs- Appeal to us logically.

Since I am an ISTJ, I can't speak too much for him, but the things that I really like about his personality that I feel probably applies to most ENFPs is that he is very warm and caring. He is very playful and energetic and full of interesting views. His sense of humor being driven by Ne is something I can very much understand and relate to.

On the flip side, he has said that he likes being with me because I am practical and help him get things accomplished. He is very carefree and sometimes needs a prod to do things that he needs to do :) He also says that my thought process is very interesting because I always have a logical reason behind everything I say.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my ideas on the ISTJ / ENFP relationship matching. As always, I feel like any types can get on well with each other as long as both communicate well, are aware of their strengths and weaknesses, and both people are mature.

Leave me some of your thoughts!

[pinkrasputin]

So, I have been dating this guy for 4 months. I know, it doesn't seem like much, but, for some background, I was engaged and in that relationship for 3 years, so this isn't a first relationship and I know what a serious relationship is like.

I've had many long term relationships and was married 8 years and still dating someone for only 4 months is not that long. You're still in honeymoon phase and don't really know the person you are with. How you resolve your major blow outs gets you closer.

I do think it's nice that you are giving input to the ENFPs though. There have been many threads on this so it's a pretty common duo on the forum.

[Mindgamess]

I've had many long term relationships and was married 8 years and still dating someone for only 4 months is not that long. You're still in honeymoon phase and don't really know the person you are with. How you resolve your major blow outs gets you closer.

I do think it's nice that you are giving input to the ENFPs though. There have been many threads on this so it's a pretty common duo on the forum.

Oh, I definitely agree. Things are different early on, but still I have been theorizing. These are just my thoughts. Who knows, him and I could break up in 3 months from now, but I doubt it. Time will tell. The only thing I meant about dating other people is that I DO know what it is like to get past a honeymoon phase and I've had experience knowing what works and doesn't work with me and what some possible problems could arise.

[Alysaria]

I think for the type to work, both parties need to be emotionally mature. :) My mom is an ESTJ and my dad is an ENFP, so I've seen a very similar pairing work very nicely. Sometimes I think STJs can get too concerned about the ENFP's lack of direction and want to help by reining them in. >.> Unfortunately, that stifles the ENFP and makes them miserable. Likewise, if the ENFP rebels against this control, it can frustrate and make the STJ feel like it's a personal attack against them. An STJ that is secure and confident in the relationship as well as able to respect and allow the ENFP to make their own decisions and potentially mistakes is a treasure. It can be a beautiful relationship as far as mutual independence, support, and dependability.