[Einstein]

1. A different and exciting way of thinking. What I like most about ENFPs is what they see in me though.

2. To get the attention of an ENFP I only have to be myself. To hold it, I try to keep interacting with them and make an effort to be open with them.

3. Look for eye contact mostly. If I keep looking in your direction it means I like you. Also if I make an effort to be around you but then am to scared to say anything to you.



4. You have to take the lead but don't go too fast. You have to realize that just because I am cold and don't talk to you much doesn't mean I don't want a relationship with you. The ENFP has to get things started.

[mr. rozay]

Please: only non-ENFPs answer these questions (borrowed, slightly enhanced, from the INTJ & ENFJ forums)

What do you see in ENFPs?

What do you do to get and hold the attention of an ENFP?

What signals should we ENFPs look for?

What can ENFPs do to make a relationship work?

1. They get my humor (crude). A lot of the times I want to take the filter off, and around them I can.
- They're like those sour warhead candies. Extremely sour when you put it in your mouth, but they've got sweet insides.

2. I dunno, somehow they remain interested with me. They ask questions, and my answers are always fascinating to them. lol I never really figured this one out.

3. If you see a Bat-signal in the clouds look for that, you might see batman.

4. Communication big time! With my ENFP friends, they seem to bottle up whats going on in order to avoid confrontation, I need directness.

[maIstNermiTnJd]

I say 'he' because I'm a 'he' metaphorically talking about a 'she'.
What do you see in ENFPs?
A good conversation awaiting, waiting for them to calm down for a minute so I can get a word in. High energy that spreads and eventually shows through myself after the conversation becomes deeper. Someone who understands a good deal before even speaking words.
What do you do to get and hold the attention of an ENFP?
So far it has been impossible to hold their attention but when I do get it I try to make conversation about things that involve the N in their personality. That way they will seek me out for that type of conversation they rarely find anywhere ells. I will be myself and being myself involves waiting because of ENFP's social behavior and waiting is something that comes easily for me because when I wait I entertain myself with thought and I think, I only think, thought is attractive to an ENFP.
What signals should we ENFPs look for?
A quit, observing person, looking as if he is taking mental notes of the people around him. Most likely he will not talk to you other then, maybe, the awkward social greeting so as the Extrovert dive in and find out what they are about. Another likely event is when you are bringing ideas into the picture they will either silently reject the idea or back your idea up with scientific findings or "didja know's." If you can drag him out of his mental shell he will start with his own ideas. When that happens show your intellect or he will dismiss you as another dimwitted girl.
What can ENFPs do to make a relationship work?
When not working on something it's Ok to smother them with the hugs you have pent up. If an INTJ thinks he has found someone close enough to his "perfect persons list" he will concentrate what ever love-ish abilities he may have on that one person, only one no one ells will see this emotion, and, although may never say it, will appreciate the love.
I've only met a couple ENFP's and they were all girls so that is what I have to go by for personal experience.

[Einstein]

What can ENFPs do to make a relationship work?
When not working on something it's Ok to smother them with the hugs you have pent up.

Yes, do this!

[stayawake]

What do you see in ENFPs?
Someone who can see right into my soul when they look at me, someone who lights up my day, someone who makes me feel better about myself when I'm around them, someone who 'gets' me, someone who's energy makes me excited, someone who I love to be silly... someone who loves people despretly ... someone who I want to give a hug to!

What do you do to get and hold the attention of an ENFP?
ENFP's seem to fix their attention on me... often they think I am sad, or just want to know who I am or what's going on in my head... I attract a lot of ENFPs! I can be mysterious, I guess, and I forget that a lot of who I am is inside me, and it takes a long time for them to figure parts of me out. It's easy for them to make me laugh, even when I don't usually laugh around others, when they know that it's a game for them to make me smile, and make me laugh.

What signals should we ENFPs look for?
If I give you my time, if I look into your eyes, If I LET YOU HUG ME (this almost never happens for other types) then I feel you are worth letting into my world. Don't take that for granted. I want a friendship with you!

What can ENFPs do to make a relationship work?
Be themselves. At least try to be punctual some of the time, or understand that it is a big deal for some types. :) Talk about the world inside your head, remember that I need consistent communication, not disappearing for weeks at a time. Let me know you still notice me in a crowd, when everyone else's eyes are on you.

[NaughyChimp]

@Adasta: Thanks for this "I see someone who is constantly wounded by others, because she sees something in them that she wishes were there, but all too often, is not." It made my eyes well up with tears. You clearly "get" us and I appreciate that.

[OrangeAppled]

I have not been romantically involved with any ENFP, so this is about friendships, mainly with female ENFPs.

What do you see in ENFPs?
They are usually fun, imaginative, good conversationalists, and they have similar interests; best of all, they often like me. They make good "partners in crime" for me. They're playful without being shallow or tiring.

What do you do to get and hold the attention of an ENFP?
People have to come to me. I'm aloof & I don't pursue people. This seems to drive some extroverts batty. They have to pry me open & see what's there. With ENFPs, they're usually delighted to find someone imaginative, creative, intellectual, individual, etc. They're surprised to find out I can be compassionate & encouraging; they may think I'm a grouch at first. Some seem to accurately sense these things about me from the get-go, but others may have to overcome prejudices against me due to my shy demeanor.

If I lose them, it's often because I have more solid standards. They seem to be guilt-tripped by my example, or that's all I can figure, because I don't judge them or say anything. OR they get frustrated with the fact that I can be a hermit & bad at initiating and maintaining contact. They forget how shy I was with them at first, and they begin to interpret my behavior with others as being snobby and rude and they get disgusted with me for it. I've had jealousy issues coming from a few; Ne-dom can seem to turn from admiration to resentment very quickly. I'm not sure how to hold them at these points. These canyons seem to grow wider slowly, over years.

What signals should we ENFPs look for?
I'm quiet and reserved at first, so if I give any signals of interest they'll be extremely subtle. Some ENFPs think this means I don't like them, don't like anyone, and am just all around an ice queen bitch who thinks she's too good for other people. I'm far more likely to reciprocate than initiate. If I allow you to engage me, then I probably like you. I'll warm up very slowly. If you're approaching me, then you're probably an ENFP who's already picking up on the good stuff about me; I'll appreciate that perceptiveness in you & willingness to give the benefit of the doubt.

What can ENFPs do to make a relationship work?
Don't project things onto me. Continue to remember that even as we get close and I begin to open up to you that I am still a shy person who will likely be reserved in social settings. Don't pressure me to socialize when I'm not in the mood. Don't take my moodiness personally. Don't feel judged by my personal standards & preferences; I'm NOT judging you when I make a decision that is different from yours. Don't be threatened by my strengths. My strengths don't lessen the value & impact of yours. Develop some standards for yourself; don't just keep flying from one idea to the next without any thought-out principles to anchor you. Remember that friendships ebb & flow; the intensity at the beginning of a relationship can't & won't be maintained forever, so don't write someone off when things cool for a time.

[Adasta]

@Adasta: Thanks for this "I see someone who is constantly wounded by others, because she sees something in them that she wishes were there, but all too often, is not." It made my eyes well up with tears. You clearly "get" us and I appreciate that.

This is the ENFP's greatest personal downfall. Inferior Si means that past experience goes out the window and newness prevails.

I've known ENFPs to go out with men "because they felt sorry for them" or "because he pursued me for a long time". These are both horrendous reasons to date someone. ENFPs are also afflicted by an odd sense of guilt, and they frequently privilege the emotional rights of others above their own. I think Aux Fi has a narrowing effect: it seems to push "bad" emotions away so that only the "good" ones are felt, expressed, and seen. ENFPs would do well to embrace their own feelings fully and understand that they are justified in feeling however they feel; this does not inherently denigrate another person.

I think ENFPs attraction to INFPs is because our Fi+Ne means we work out all the emotional stuff first and then build something from that. This might make us appear deep, aloof, intense but, more than anything, principled and self-assured.

[Compassionate Misanthrope]

This is the ENFP's greatest personal downfall. Inferior Si means that past experience goes out the window and newness prevails.

I've known ENFPs to go out with men "because they felt sorry for them" or "because he pursued me for a long time". These are both horrendous reasons to date someone. ENFPs are also afflicted by an odd sense of guilt, and they frequently privilege the emotional rights of others above their own. I think Aux Fi has a narrowing effect: it seems to push "bad" emotions away so that only the "good" ones are felt, expressed, and seen. ENFPs would do well to embrace their own feelings fully and understand that they are justified in feeling however they feel; this does not inherently denigrate another person.

I think ENFPs attraction to INFPs is because our Fi+Ne means we work out all the emotional stuff first and then build something from that. This might make us appear deep, aloof, intense but, more than anything, principled and self-assured.

Hahah this is why my best friend is an INFP. She gets me too :)

[uniquegirl]

What do you see in ENFPs?

People who appreciate me for me.

What do you do to get and hold the attention of an ENFP?

Act intelligent around them. Show a strong work ethic, ambition, and independence. Act somewhat shy around them.

What signals should we ENFPs look for?

If I suddenly seem to connect eyes with you then get uncomfortable and turn away. If I try to impress you in any way. Also, I tend to open up more. I tend to talk to them about what is all going on in my life and share more personal things. One time an ENFP guy I really liked told the class in front of me that he had a girlfriend. I cried in class, which was weird because I hardly ever cried about anything. He saw it which made me feel somewhat insecure.

What can ENFPs do to make a relationship work?

Don't try to change me. Don't try to push me to be around more people and do more activities. I know what I can handle without feeling overwhelmed. Encourage me to grow and pursue my dreams. Enjoy the simple things: go for a walk, watch a t.v. show, sit out and look at the stars, drive around and look at Christmas lights, etc. Don't be extravagent on dates.