[Angua]

What do you do to get and hold the attention of an ENFP?

Aside from tackling one off her feet and bear hugging her while I handcuff my right arm to her left and my left foot to her right...

Sorry, haven't read further yet, but this just tore me up. Thank you for making my day, I can't stop laughing *snirf*

Although I will from now on be especially vigilant when venturing outside

[Einstein]

yeah mean the..."I'VE JUST HAD AN AMAZINGLY BEAUTFUL CRAZY IDEA" Look?!

My best friend in an INFJ...she recognises this 'look' immediately. Bless her; she always tries to calm me and 'warn' me of the potential dangers that may lie ahead as I enthusiastically embark upon yet another random adventure...

of course...I always manage to somehow persuade her to come with me

(Every ENFP superhero needs a freaky, psychic, mind-reading INFJ zombie acquaintance....but INTJs are far more fun to cook up ideas with )

She always tries to 'protect' me...as they do. This is most bizarre to me...I feel like I'm the one having to protect her all the time! She's so afraid of EVERYTHING....

(or perhaps I'm just a complete nutjob?! )

Yes, or the "I reading your mind" look or the "let's go on an adventure together" look.

With an ENFP I know we don't talk very often because I'm really quiet, but I love how it's always like we have a second conversation going on between our eyes. I didn't even know this was possible until last year.

I guess you protect each other in different ways.

[KookyTookie]

Yes, or the "I reading your mind" look or the "let's go on an adventure together" look.

With an ENFP I know we don't talk very often because I'm really quiet, but I love how it's always like we have a second conversation going on between our eyes. I didn't even know this was possible until last year.

I guess you protect each other in different ways.

Well I'm glad someone people appreciate the "I'm reading you mind" look...haha! (I have met some who have become most defensive and hostile once they realised what was going on...its quite interesting how different people react to this.)

The only person who has ever been able to "read" me was my INFJ best friend. We have actually had some pretty intense arguments about this. I think this stems from the fact that; actually...I can also read her behaviour/emotions very well (We are very close...it took a very long time for her to open up enough for me to be able to do this. Twas a real challenge!) The difference is; while she will make a direct...accurate judgement about certain behaviour...I will, instead...consider all the possibilities. This often results in me concluding that the person is actually good, deep down inside....which is kinda dangerous when you're dealing with psychopaths/deluded narcissistic types...yeah I learnt things the hard way.

ps- but it also means that I generally like EVERYONE. Nobody really intimidates me....you're all playful puppies (even ENTJS)

[Einstein]

Well I'm glad someone people appreciate the "I'm reading you mind" look...haha! (I have met some who have become most defensive and hostile once they realised what was going on...its quite interesting how different people react to this.)

The only person who has ever been able to "read" me was my INFJ best friend. We have actually had some pretty intense arguments about this. I think this stems from the fact that; actually...I can also read her behaviour/emotions very well (We are very close...it took a very long time for her to open up enough for me to be able to do this. Twas a real challenge!) The difference is; while she will make a direct...accurate judgment about certain behaviour...I will, instead...consider all the possibilities. This often results in me concluding that the person is actually good, deep down inside....which is kinda dangerous when you're dealing with psychopaths/deluded narcissistic types...yeah I learnt things the hard way.

ps- but it also means that I generally like EVERYONE. Nobody really intimidates me....you're all playful puppies (even ENTJS)

I can usually read NJ's. It's harder for me to read other types but I'm starting to figure out how to read ENFP's.

[KookyTookie]

I can usually read NJ's. It's harder for me to read other types but I'm starting to figure out how to read ENFP's.

I think its hard to read ENFPS often - even for myself. I find it easy to read healthy ENFPS- they genuinely are just wonderfully open, honest, curious, and loving characters who are energised through seeing the beauty in the human spirit/soul.

However; unhealthy ENFPS are not so easy...in fact; I think they can be very dangerous-because their intuition can lead to all forms of nasty manipulation if not used correctly (from my own personal experience- this is all theoretical anyhow. I don't like to see you as an 'INTJ'...you are just another human like me...just maybe a little bit less openly eccentric )

Anyway- there is good and bad in us all. I think ENFPS kinda ripen with age. We learn through 'experience'...we have to feel, and to live...in order to understand. But once we get there...we can become quite wonderfully inspiring little creatures (and we also have AMAZING stories to tell about our adventures as well!)

[KookyTookie]

Well, I'm sure not every ENFP wastes their potential, but from my experience with a great deal of them, they tend to disregard all potential for improving their lives. Although not fully, drugs is a partial factor. More so, drugs represent an analogy for the explanation of their behavior.

It's as though they always allow someone or something hold them back from something better. And it's never that they don't want it because they usually want the improvement very much. They assosiate themselves with people who are beneath them. Every one of my ENFP friends have been pressured into doing things they are against because they believe it will help them in some way. If not that, they do it because they care about the person who brings them down and allow themselves to be further restrained or even damaged.

It's like they know what they want to do, but they never do it.

I really relate to this. Thank you

There is some truth (at least from my own experience) that I have; as you put it- disregarded my real potential for improving my life.

Drugs have sometimes played a part in this - at least they did when I was younger. I spent a large amount of my early late teens/early twenties living in squats around the country; taking drugs (mainly hallucinogenics...because I love creating crazy worlds and going on adventures )...generally living, what some may define as a, 'hedonistic' lifestyle. I wasted a lot of money...I damaged my body...and I more often than not; I got myself into potentially very dangerous situations.

I'm not like that now. I'm actually a very 'successful' person (at least...successful in the way that others may define it...we all have our different views) - I guess I've calmed down somewhat as I've got older.

Throughout the process of 'calming-down' ...and I suppose; 'Finding myself'...I actually became very depressed and reclusive. I felt this incredible guilt at having wasted my potential. I became very dark, pessimistic, and cynical person. I began to think more logically and rationally. (NOTE: I am NOT saying that being rational or logical is bad...this is just part of my story )

Jeez. This is typical...I got halfway through the story and my mind has wandered...and now I'm thinking of something else...HAHA

okay...Please bare with me people!

I'm not entirely sure how it happened- because its actually still happening...

But I eventually decided to start listening to my heart again. An example of this: I eventually went back to university after all my crazy years of adventures...and had the idea almost forced upon me that I should go into Law. (I know what you're thinking....hilarious, right?! )

I actually flirted with this idea for ages...and finally managed to talk myself into doing it (As we ENFPS do). Now, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that there was no reason why I could not have have done this. I don't believe in saying...oh well, sorry I can't- My attention span is too short, etc,etc ...etc. I just eventually got to a point where I realised it really wasn't for me. I wasn't happy....it's not what my heart was telling me to do...

And so; I decided instead to become a teacher.

ANYWAY.

I believe...that I would have never reached this point of personal understanding; had I not experienced all my crazy adventures beforehand.

I live, learn, feel, and understand through- experience.

So, instead of seeing this as time wasted...I now choose to see it as a journey of self-discovery that has enabled me to grow and become the person I am today.

But this is just my story.

and I also realise that I just went off on some massive tangent

[Existentialismz]

I believe...that I would have never reached this point of personal understanding; had I not experienced all my crazy adventures beforehand.

I live, learn, feel, and understand through- experience.

So, instead of seeing this as time wasted...I now choose to see it as a journey of self-discovery that has enabled me to grow and become the person I am today.

But this is just my story.

and I also realise that I just went off on some massive tangent

I also hold great importance for experience, but I think there are certain times in life when those experiences are necessary and other times when they are not.

For example, I don't have many friends in my life right now. I have one friend (an ENFJ) who moved away to college. Everytime I talk to her she tells me what I'm doing wrong in my life and why I'm not getting anywhere. Which is frustrating but at the same time, she encourages me in a way to follow the big impossible dreams I have in a realistic way because that's what she does.

Then I have an ENFP friend who lives very close to me and I have the opportunity to do things with her more often and make more friends. But she's all about experience and she treats her life like what I described. She wants to go to college, she wants to get a job, she wants to get her license...basic things like that. But instead she decides to smoke and have fun with friends. And that's all well and good. I think she's an amazing person and very fun to be around. But I won't involve myself to much in that because I know I won't be helping myself if I do. And I want to help her, but I'd also be bringing myself down in the process. At some point she can only help herself. I'll be the one brought down. My life isn't in a good time for certain experiences. I'd only be using fun or drugs as a way of dealing with personal problems. When I'm at a healthy comfortable state in my life. I'll be down for all the fun and experience in the world. But right now I need experience in school and work to make money and be happy. (Sad how those relate, huh?)


Apologies for the babbling, but I appreciated your post. I'm glad you found what made you happy.=D I hope my friend can do the same.=]]

[subwayrider]

Please: only non-ENFPs answer these questions (borrowed, slightly enhanced, from the INTJ & ENFJ forums)

What do you see in ENFPs?

What do you do to get and hold the attention of an ENFP?

What signals should we ENFPs look for?

What can ENFPs do to make a relationship work?

1. I see energetic, seemingly carefree souls with an amazing capacity for sympathy and understanding. Also, you are a lot of fun and can make bright any gloomy day of mine.

2. One need merely flaunt their dominant Ni to get the attention of an ENFP. They're attracted to Ni types like moths to the flame :D
As for holding their attention... keep it interesting with an air of mystery.

3. Look for: teasing, eye contact, physical proximity, body language. INFJs don't like initiating contact, so they're more likely to send subtle hints that we expect will be easily picked up on by you guys.

4. Don't be mean! Be serious when it's needed. Try to be a bit more organized.

[NaughyChimp]

INFJs don't like initiating contact, so they're more likely to send subtle hints that we expect will be easily picked up on by you guys.
... Don't be mean!

Haha. As discussed in some other threads, we usually are kind of dense when picking up clues that someone fancies us so if you're falling for an ENFP, try to be direct about expressing your feelings, even though it may be hard to do so.

And, ENFPs aren't often mean... are we?

[KookyTookie]

I also hold great importance for experience, but I think there are certain times in life when those experiences are necessary and other times when they are not.

For example, I don't have many friends in my life right now. I have one friend (an ENFJ) who moved away to college. Everytime I talk to her she tells me what I'm doing wrong in my life and why I'm not getting anywhere. Which is frustrating but at the same time, she encourages me in a way to follow the big impossible dreams I have in a realistic way because that's what she does.

Then I have an ENFP friend who lives very close to me and I have the opportunity to do things with her more often and make more friends. But she's all about experience and she treats her life like what I described. She wants to go to college, she wants to get a job, she wants to get her license...basic things like that. But instead she decides to smoke and have fun with friends. And that's all well and good. I think she's an amazing person and very fun to be around. But I won't involve myself to much in that because I know I won't be helping myself if I do. And I want to help her, but I'd also be bringing myself down in the process. At some point she can only help herself. I'll be the one brought down. My life isn't in a good time for certain experiences. I'd only be using fun or drugs as a way of dealing with personal problems. When I'm at a healthy comfortable state in my life. I'll be down for all the fun and experience in the world. But right now I need experience in school and work to make money and be happy. (Sad how those relate, huh?)


Apologies for the babbling, but I appreciated your post. I'm glad you found what made you happy.=D I hope my friend can do the same.=]]

FIRST OF ALL: You never need to appologise to ENFP for 'babbling'...we have the uncanny ability to make sense of balderdash ('Balderdash'...What an intriguingly bizarre word...I like it )

Yikes...haven't I have't even got to my FIRST point and I've aready used TWO smiley-robot-faces...MUWHAHAHA. Sorry...too much coffee. Apparently.

Right-o!

Let us first of all just get rid of all this 'Type' poppycock for a moment...shall we? Just for fun?!

Regardless of whether we are ENFPS, INTJS, INFPS, whatevers... (and...any OTHER creatures of the night that are lurking out there...muwhahah...I can SENSE you )

...so much of these 'things' or 'issues' we talk about....are particulary influenced by one major factor: Life experience and maturity.

As an ENFP I could sit here and attempt to 'uncover' the reasons why your particular ENFP friend acts the way she (or he) does. But it doesn't really mean anything. Because....she is her own person...she is going on her own journey....she will evetunally reach her own 'understanding' through her own experiences....

(Note: experience is not just about going out and taking loads of LSD, or for that matter, reading about it in a book, or an online forum... It's not just physical experiences....there are many diferent types)

ANYWAY (I'm at risk of loosing the plot here again...)

I realise you care for and are clearly trying to look out for your friend. The only 'advice' I could offer here (and I'm always unsure of offering 'advice' with such complex matters) is that....if she really is an ENFP...whatever rabbit holes she happens to stumble down on her journeys....she will more than likely find away to pull herself back up into 'reality'

We are made of pretty tough things....people underestimate the exterior fluffyness

It's good that you are willingly listening to the guidance of others. It really is so important for us all to try and gain knew understanding through our interactions with people who are different to us.

"If what unites us, matter more than what divides us....then why are we STILL so divided?"

Let's all embrace our beautiful differences and learn from each other people!!!!!

Okay...

one last point.

Some of us mature later than others....us late 'blossomers' ...I am certainly one of these 'types.' Don't be too impatient in your wishes for your loved ones to develop and reach their 'potential'

some of us taker a little bit longer....

but trust me; when we get there....

IT'S SO WORTH IT!!!!!!