[Nafatali]

I'm not as into the dating scene (I like my independence too much) so I'm only interested in a relationship if I see it having the potential of making the distance. (In other words I only date with the eventual intention of making a life long commitment). Call me old fashioned, I don't care .

With that in mind I've only ever dated two people (married one). The first one was a teenage romance (that lasted for most of my high school years). He was an INTJ and incredible. I decided to break it off after school because I wasnt ready to settle down into something more serious. I broke his heart and I still feel terrible about it. We have each other on facebook but we hardly ever talk.

The other one I was married to an ISFJ and unfortunately more in love with the romance associated with traveling and picking up a Canadian man to bring home to my family. The Marriage lasted two and a half years and it was pretty disasterous. We found we were on total opposite wavelengths, he was borning and un-inventive and I was too abstract, non-conformist and a social embarrasment . Needless to say he felt the need to find what he wanted in someone else and when I found out he'd been cheating (again) I decided it was time to leave.

Once my mind was made up I just up and left and didn't look back. It was gut wrentching to the extreme but we ENFPs are adaptable, we survive and move on.

[Bumblyjack]

I've never been cheated on, nor have i cheated on a partner. I like you have remained friends with my Ex's. I've never door slammed any of them. After-all, why regret something that was exactly what you wanted at the time. I thought of my Ex's as a growing and learning experience. Sure we may not have keep in close contact, but....we always remained civil to each other and never made the other out to be bad people. I have no issues cutting people out of my life i have no emotional connection with, but...if he is my Ex i must have had some emotional connection at some point. Maybe i just got lucky ? I doubt it. Not all relationships end on a bad note. Sometimes it is what it is and we can't make ourselves feel things that we simply don't feel.

I door-slam my ex's because it never was what I wanted or even what I thought it was. My imagination got ahead of me and clouded my vision. Then when I realize what happened I slam the door on them to make sure I won't make the same mistake with them again.

[MegaTuxRacer]

As long as it all has a happy ending, I don't think I'll complain

I'm sure it will. You're a pretty cool guy. Also the way you broke up with that first girl was masterful.

[shedreamt]

I door-slam my ex's because it never was what I wanted or even what I thought it was. My imagination got ahead of me and clouded my vision. Then when I realize what happened I slam the door on them to make sure I won't make the same mistake with them again.

You perfectly phrased that. My relationship with my ex was nowhere near as wonderful as I felt it was in the midst of it. Doorslamming him was the best decision ever. I feel like we have the same brain when I read your posts sometimes. :)

[taptap]

You perfectly phrased that. My relationship with my ex was nowhere near as wonderful as I felt it was in the midst of it. Doorslamming him was the best decision ever. I feel like we have the same brain when I read your posts sometimes. :)

Not weird at all, you're both the same type.. Doorslamming people and stuff you know, you two are alike.

[Angua]

I'm annoyingly faithful so I only have had one meaningful relationship, which I never should have gotten in as he was too nurturing. But, I did need it at the time, even lived with him for eleven years... At the end I almost went mad, I felt so caged, but still I tried to ignore the fact it didn't work. I made myself break his heart in the end, because I really became a very nasty person, trying to get him to end it. Didn't work, so I told him I had to leave... much sadness on both sides. And still it took me three months to actually leave...

The rebound guy was the most boring man on earth and, I admit it wasn't pretty, I in the ned ignored him until he went away...

So I think we can establish I'm not that good at breaking up...

[Compassionate Misanthrope]

I've never been cheated on, nor have i cheated on a partner. I like you have remained friends with my Ex's. I've never door slammed any of them. After-all, why regret something that was exactly what you wanted at the time. I thought of my Ex's as a growing and learning experience. Sure we may not have keep in close contact, but....we always remained civil to each other and never made the other out to be bad people. I have no issues cutting people out of my life i have no emotional connection with, but...if he is my Ex i must have had some emotional connection at some point. Maybe i just got lucky ? I doubt it. Not all relationships end on a bad note. Sometimes it is what it is and we can't make ourselves feel things that we simply don't feel.

That ^^^ is pretty much how I feel about my failed marriage. There was a lot of slowly growing distant with me trying to pull her back in. Lately she's been making noises about trying to work it out. I told her that I have been trying to make it work for years and I'm done with that. I think she's just afraid of being without me rather than actually romantically loving me. Meh - I've been going through my rough patches every few days but all in all I'm excited about the future. As soon as we had the 3rd "this is really happening" discussion I moped fora couple weeks and then just started exercising, buying new clothes, going out more, and trying to date.

2-3 year long breakups are not the norm though hahah.

I've been cheated on a few times. Each time the girl wanted to stay together heh. I make sure they leave my life forever with a healthy dose of the most hurtful words I can muster. In my personal experience cheating on someone is the absolute worst thing you could do to them. What a disgusting thing to do.

I had a three year relationship when I was very young and I still loved her but I ended it because I didn't want to get married at 15 haha. That one hurt like hell for 5 years - almost got back with her in college. We had unfinished business in that one though. I hadn't spent years trying to make it work. With my dissolving marriage I feel that I exhausted all of the possibilities so I don't think I hurt nearly as bad as many people would. I've already tried everything.

[subwayrider]

Interesting posts, everyone. I had heard that ENFPs often have trouble leaving bad relationships-- that seems not always to be the case.
I personally door-slam any- and every-one who is at all toxic to me. I do not forgive easily. I do pretty well on my own, so it's not like I'd be missing them. This is especially true now, since I seem to be giving off the best vibe I've had in years. People are flocking to me in my real life. It's kind of strange, but I enjoy the change. I was a lot more melancholy and moody in my younger years, so people tended to avoid me.

[firelink]

"That ^^^ is pretty much how I feel about my failed marriage. There was a lot of slowly growing distant with me trying to pull her back in. Lately she's been making noises about trying to work it out. I told her that I have been trying to make it work for years and I'm done with that. I think she's just afraid of being without me rather than actually romantically loving me. Meh - I've been going through my rough patches every few days but all in all I'm excited about the future. As soon as we had the 3rd "this is really happening" discussion I moped fora couple weeks and then just started exercising, buying new clothes, going out more, and trying to date."

Maybe the thing, is we think marriage is the final point, or something like the ultimate phase.

Maybe marriage is where all gonna be difficult, because it give you a feeling that you get it, so don't do anymore and thus love fall asleep like a bear in hibernation.
Maybe marriage should be seen the beginning of difficulty (it s not difficult when you are not together, because you can think of the person you love every now and then , when you want , but when you are together you wont think every now and then, and slowly become a part of usual thing ) .

In fact marriage maybe the most difficult part for love. Because it can slowly without the conscious extinguish it , like million of tears can make a hole in a rock .

[Compassionate Misanthrope]

"That ^^^ is pretty much how I feel about my failed marriage. There was a lot of slowly growing distant with me trying to pull her back in. Lately she's been making noises about trying to work it out. I told her that I have been trying to make it work for years and I'm done with that. I think she's just afraid of being without me rather than actually romantically loving me. Meh - I've been going through my rough patches every few days but all in all I'm excited about the future. As soon as we had the 3rd "this is really happening" discussion I moped fora couple weeks and then just started exercising, buying new clothes, going out more, and trying to date."

Maybe the thing, is we think marriage is the final point, or something like the ultimate phase.

Maybe marriage is where all gonna be difficult, because it give you a feeling that you get it, so don't do anymore and thus love fall asleep like a bear in hibernation.
Maybe marriage should be seen the beginning of difficulty (it s not difficult when you are not together, because you can think of the person you love every now and then , when you want , but when you are together you wont think every now and then, and slowly become a part of usual thing ) .

In fact marriage maybe the most difficult part for love. Because it can slowly without the conscious extinguish it , like million of tears can make a hole in a rock .

Yes I think it was this way for her... which is why she's now more interested in me than she has been in years. For me I gave her everything I had and it wasn't enough. I read people. I knew the first day that it started to change for her. For me it's done, done, and done.