I was thinking about this in church today. Church services get to me. They make me think of all the mistakes I've made in just a short period of my life. What if I could change one thing? What would I choose? What one thing would I not change?
I would make my brother not have autism. Yeah, he's happy. That makes me cry. Seeing him happy makes me happy. I want everything for him. He doesn't get to do what I get to do. I would give my life for him to have the chances I have. He can't even speak. The one good guy I have in my life can't tell me what is on his mind, but he's happy. Just as long as he is happy, I am happy and I will always do my best to keep him happy.
The one thing I would not change is when he moved 4 hours away from me to go to a school for autistic children. It broke my heart being that far away from him, but it is better for him. They teach him everything he'll need to do when he grows up. Three years ago my house burned down and my oldest brother, my sister, and I climbed out a window. That was after Riley moved to the autism school. Yeah, I want my brother with me, but what if he was still living with me when the house was on fire? Would I be able to get him to climb out of the window? If he hadn't moved away from me I don't what would have happened. If he was there and I couldn't find a way to get him out of the house, I would die with him. I am so thankful that he was not there the day my house burned down. He is why I am who I am today. I can't imagine what life would be without him.