I'm really sorry for this negative content, but I'm very curious to discuss it. I have a friend of mine who is an ISTP, and lately I just haven't been in the mood to call him. He's very critical sometimes, and although I admit I can be very foolish on occasion, I'm getting tired of it. I'm wondering if any other ENFPs have ever felt this same way. I know about socionics, and how its description of relationships are still contested within this community, but lately his abrasiveness has just been wearing on me. I think he's mostly a generous guy, but he isn't always very forgiving of my flaws. I think part of our problem may be he doesn't like my enneagram type, or something, because the problems he takes the least seriously are problems about my own identity.
I'm not writing this to diss ISTPs, but I'm just wondering if any other ENFPs find their abrasiveness kind of tiring after a while. I haven't talked to him about this yet, because I don't think I can convince him its a problem. All I know is that some of his criticisms bother me after a while, I start taking them personally, and right now I just feel like I need a break. Maybe this kind of "overload" is normal for just about any relationship, no matter the types?
I think part of the problem, though, is we may have reached a level in our relationship where I'm reluctant to get much closer. There are some issues of mine that I just don't feel very open to share, irrational fears and beliefs, that sort of thing. I usually have to steer the conversations, and lately the things that keep popping up in my mind are things I'm too afraid to talk about. So we spend minutes on the phone not talking about anything. I can't get the subjects out of my mind--I can't control my thoughts that well--so my instinct instead is to just bottle these disturbing emotions up, see if I can tackle them by myself. But then we're not even talking about anything, I can't tell him what's up because I'm feeling too uncomfortable; I can't start small-talk, because he detects it easily and hates it, and I can't make myself think of something else.
Maybe my problems stem a little deeper than what I initially posted about. He doesn't like listening to my uncertainties, but mainly when they keep swaying back and forth. His advice is always to just too things, and I'm sometimes very prone to second-thoughts. I usually talk to him every day, but lately I just don't know what to talk to him about. Maybe I just need to give this relationship a little break. Do you suppose that's the only real problem here?