[LeanneC]

There's a few things about myself and I've been wondering if they're an ENFP thing, or just me.



First, I'm obsessed with always having the "best" experience. I'm always scanning to see which seats would be "best" at a ball game, or which sites would be best when camping, etc.... When I feel I've missed out on something I get really upset and kind of depressed. For example: A couple weeks ago we went camping with some friends. We had a large group and my and my husband were the 3rd people there. He just starts unloading on the site he parked next to and by the time I suggested we choose a different site (better shade, beautiful view) he said it was too late and he wasn't moving everything. The more I realized how crappy our site was and how great the other one was, the more upset and agitated I got. I moped for most of that first night and had a hard time shaking it even when I told myself that I would ruin my trip if I felt that way the whole time.

This leads to shaking emotions in general. My husband apparently has a switch to turn his emotions on and off and I have no such thing. If we argue, or I'm upset with him over something, I am upset for quite a while and he gets frustrated that I "keep it going" by continuing to be upset... but I can't do it any other way. I can't just go from angry to perfectly fine in a second.

Next thing is that I'm really sensitive to being left out and disappointment. When I'm left out it's one of the worst feelings in the world to me, when others are disappointed I can just feel the emotions and really want to reach out to them... which is rather odd for me. I'm no good at consoling. I'm good at problem solving and offering advice, but saying "I'm sorry" and "congrats" over and over just seems insincere to me.

So... are these ENFP traits, or just my own personal issues? TIA!

[MuChApArAdOx]

There's a few things about myself and I've been wondering if they're an ENFP thing, or just me.

First, I'm obsessed with always having the "best" experience. I'm always scanning to see which seats would be "best" at a ball game, or which sites would be best when camping, etc.... When I feel I've missed out on something I get really upset and kind of depressed. For example: A couple weeks ago we went camping with some friends. We had a large group and my and my husband were the 3rd people there. He just starts unloading on the site he parked next to and by the time I suggested we choose a different site (better shade, beautiful view) he said it was too late and he wasn't moving everything. The more I realized how crappy our site was and how great the other one was, the more upset and agitated I got. I moped for most of that first night and had a hard time shaking it even when I told myself that I would ruin my trip if I felt that way the whole time.

This leads to shaking emotions in general. My husband apparently has a switch to turn his emotions on and off and I have no such thing. If we argue, or I'm upset with him over something, I am upset for quite a while and he gets frustrated that I "keep it going" by continuing to be upset... but I can't do it any other way. I can't just go from angry to perfectly fine in a second.

Next thing is that I'm really sensitive to being left out and disappointment. When I'm left out it's one of the worst feelings in the world to me, when others are disappointed I can just feel the emotions and really want to reach out to them... which is rather odd for me. I'm no good at consoling. I'm good at problem solving and offering advice, but saying "I'm sorry" and "congrats" over and over just seems insincere to me.

So... are these ENFP traits, or just my own personal issues? TIA!

ha! Yes, i can relate to this. It could be because we do observe everything, and most times get what we want ; )...and when we don't, ah, it kills us..ha! I don't always let arguements go easy either, especially if i think my argurment is valid. I can switch it off and on thou, depending on the importance. I love clarity in any situation, so i need closer.

I'm pretty good with consoling other people. I think for me its more about the situation. If i think someone is feeling sorry for themselves and is looking for me to join their pity party, then no. I really dislike pity parties. I will say congrats if its something they have earned or worked hard for, although if its something again for mere attention, then no. And you're right, giving compliments for every little thing does come off as insincere. When said at times not deserving or warranted, it just sounds so fake. Even when receiving them it can appear very much like that.

[saffron]

LOL!! I went camping last week and changed sites mid week. I'm kind of famous for this. If you walk your tent over it's not such a big deal. :) Even though it was a bit of a pain in the ass, everyone admitted that it was worth it in the end, so there.

[saffron]

I also spend a HUGE amount of time researching for vacations etc.. Best restaurants, views, drives, beaches, hotels, condos, day trips. My husband makes fun of this, but again, it usually pays off. And I just enjoy the research.

Yes, I'm definitely all about trying to create best experiences. Also, in regards to moving to a new camp site, I usually agree to do most of the work so it doesn't totally piss everyone off.

Edit: Also, my husband has learned that we don't just pull into a campground willy nilly and start setting up at any old site. We drive through a couple of times to try various sites on for size. It takes a while. We move only because something better has opened up. :)

[LeanneC]

Saffron- Totally! Just wait until you have kids. I can't even count the number of hours I devoted to researching DIAPERS. I mean, they're poop catchers! I've already put in several hours of research for a trip we're planning for the fall... I tend to do a bunch of research when I first become interested or get a great idea. Then I pack all that info away until it needs to be used (which is often never!).

[saffron]

I do have kids. I know..... :)

[LeanneC]

Oh, awesome... How old, how many? I've got two little boys, 2 & 5.

[saffron]

Two, a 10 year old girl and a 14 year old boy. The boy is definitely an ENFP btw. I would say INFP for the girl at this point, but she's still developing and not so easy to type. But it's honestly great to have a constant fix of NF conversation in the house. They're awesome. :) And they lose everything. :(

[tine]

Yeah I always want to have the best experience I can whenever! I always want to go to the most fun place with the most fun people and hate having to do things that are boring or annoying. I try and make sure everyone has the best seats in the cinema, the best view of the TV, the best stuff to help them etc. So I guess it's not just with me XD I force it on everyone!

[Zster]

I am feeling like an alien - more than one thread that does not relate to me.

1. Having to have the best experience: nope. I want to have an experience, preferably unique, but find that thinking "best" limits my enjoyment. I like to be open. Even crappy situations can become humorous or otherwise memorable.

2. Slow to cool down - no fast emotional switch: while I do not switch emotions on a dime, if I am allowed to "get it out" I can go back to balanced in fairly short order. My hubby could belabor an issue forever it seemed, and drove me nuts.

3. Disappointed to be left out: (isn't that stereotypical of ENFPs?). While I do not LIKE being excluded, I am s eldom at a loss for personal entertainment, on my own or in a group. So, I do not tend to sweat it or hold a grudge. The best cure for this? Be the one doing the suggesting or inviting. You wont get leftout of that, usually.

Regarding camp sites - I would FREAK to have to take the very first lame old site encountered! Hubby and I had a tradition of visiting camp grounds in the winter and "rating" the sites (with a grade like A, B, or C) so that we could then book a winner online. This, of course, was only possible locally. We had many a vacation out of state where we did indeed get stuck at a lame site. (hence my never visiting Panama City's St. Andrew's Park ever again). Yep. the right site is THAT important. (: