[The King Of Dreams]

I just would like to get other ENFPs opinions. If I ask someone for something or to do something, if they say yes reluctantly it's as good as saying "NO" to me. In fact, I take it as a "NO". If they say yes and it sounds absolute then I take it as a "YES". Do any of you ever have this issue? Let's discuss.

[marzipan01]

YES! heehee. I totally agree with you. If someone is hesitant about agreeing with me they might as well have not said anything at all.
I don't want them to agree with me unless they actually agree. I don't want to hang out with someone unless they actually want to hang out, play scrabble unless they actually want to play, etc. And I guess the reason for that is because I wouldn't want to feel like I had to do something like that either, it would take all the fun out of it. :)

[strawberryLola]

Yes- and when it happens, I gently ask them, "If it's okay. If not that's totally cool. And I really emphasize on the it's cool part." A part of it feels like I do not want to impose, and I rather you be honest with yourself, because that is really what I want so that I can be honest with you (you meaning the communication person sender). :)

[MissJordan]

YES! heehee. I totally agree with you. If someone is hesitant about agreeing with me they might as well have not said anything at all.

It'd heavily depend on the circumstances of the hesitation, something you'd be unable to understand unless you are the person hesitating.

For instance, if I were to hesitate in hugging a girl who likes me.
It's not necessarily because I don't 'feel that way about her', I just don't feel at ease when people hug me....


People can read far too into things, sometimes.

[rednet2]

It'd heavily depend on the circumstances of the hesitation, something you'd be unable to understand unless you are the person hesitating.

For instance, if I were to hesitate in hugging a girl who likes me.
It's not necessarily because I don't 'feel that way about her', I just don't feel at ease when people hug me....


People can read far too into things, sometimes.

It can also mean, "Give me a few minutes, I need to think about this and work out how it will impact on my schedule, and if I'll have enough energy/time/resources to do everything else I wanted to do". Given how long it takes to do this, we're usually already half way through by the time we finish thinking about it.

[n2freedom]

It can also mean, "Give me a few minutes, I need to think about this and work out how it will impact on my schedule, and if I'll have enough energy/time/resources to do everything else I wanted to do". Given how long it takes to do this, we're usually already half way through by the time we finish thinking about it.

It'd heavily depend on the circumstances of the hesitation, something you'd be unable to understand unless you are the person hesitating.

For instance, if I were to hesitate in hugging a girl who likes me.
It's not necessarily because I don't 'feel that way about her', I just don't feel at ease when people hug me....


People can read far too into things, sometimes

Very enlightening....yes it really could mean all of those things and more. And, yes I have the tendency like my fellow ENFP types that have posted to assume that it is a no. I guess the lesson learned from thread is...when met with hesitation as for clarification. LOL! Thanks for this thread...it was quite educational. Can hardly wait to hear more responses....

[chinotto]

I think it's because we are very sensitive to peoples' motivations.

I may still accept the favor / decision, thought, if I believed it was ultimately the best thing for that person or the group. : ) Depends a lot on circumstances. ENFP tend to talk people into things that align with our Visions.

[Eldritch Blue Rose]

I just would like to get other ENFPs opinions. If I ask someone for something or to do something, if they say yes reluctantly it's as good as saying "NO" to me. In fact, I take it as a "NO". If they say yes and it sounds absolute then I take it as a "YES". Do any of you ever have this issue? Let's discuss.

Then what happens if you take a reluctant yes as a "NO", then they say a firm sounding yes? What if the same people don't want to say "YES", but for some reason they don't want to vocalize it?

[tine]

Yes XD If I ask my sister "do you want .... ?" and she pauses then goes "Okay, sure." Then I always have to ask if she really wants it and it's fine to say no if she doesn't x.x it drives her mad at times XD She made a point of saying "Unless I say no then take it as a yes", but then why not just say "YES!"? D:
I hate the idea of forcing stuff on people so if they don't seem sure to me (not said YES) then I always try and give them a way out so they wont do something they dont want to XD

[Eloise]

YES~ Whenever someone takes a moment to agree, or has that face on while responding 'Yes,' I'll take it directly as a no, and will just steer the conversation elsewhere. If someone says 'Yes, but...' for me, it's no too. When people say no, though, I tend to keep going at it, usually in annoying my beloved seat partner in Japanese class (I think he's an IxTJ) because it is just too much fun to stop. When it's a firm 'NO.' I'll stop, because I've obviously overstepped boundaries. Yes and no are such definitive things, aren't they?