[christmaslover]

I wonder if you - especially ENFPs - feel that you always are the one who have to do something if you want to spend time with people?

I am so tired of getting hurt because og this. I am from a small place in Norway, and only 16 (17 next week), so the situation may be a little bit different than in big cities, since there is less people here. I go to high school in a town now - but in 7 years there where only six people in my class, and we where the biggest class at school.

But anyway, the thing is: These days I end up hurt so easaly, because I ask people if they want to do something, but they never have the time.... I can ask five people, and if I am lucky one of them have the time.

I moved to the city to go to school there this year, and imagined that I could go knocking on doors and spend time whit people. My big dream - we are only 100 people in our village, and most of them are old people. But of course that was terribly wrong... It's training, school and work for most people at my school. First of all it has been hard making friends in the city, I have to keep the conversation going until we know each other very well, and that counts for only one person in my class. But it's even worse when people I know never have the time. I feel so pushy and stupid, but I want to spend time with people so much. I do enjoy playing guitar, doing yoga and other stuff alone, but everybody needs a friend. So I cry alone in the beautifull nature at home, holding around a tree.. I feel so lonely. And when I am home my family want to do their stuff - like taking care of flowers or doing sudoku. We do have some time together, but I would have liked much more.

I am sick of waiting for friends I can spend time with in my daily life. It's now 11 years since I started school, and I am still waiting..

I also have the same discussion over and over whit my mom - I tell her I wish we lived in a bigger place, and she feels sick because we have talked about it earlier. I don't want to blame her - I just want some comfort. But she is a J (ENFJ), so I guess the problem is she has to "DO" something or leave it, while I just want love and understanding.



Any idea what to do? I don't understand why people don't make friends a bigger priority. I just don't :(

[little infinity]

I can really relate to this. For whatever reason, there are only a few people in my life who really make the effort to reach out to me and keep in contact with me. The rest of them, even people I really get along with and have good relationships with, I generally don't speak to unless I contact them first. I'm one of those people who's "impossible to forget, but hard to remember." It's worse because I'm so flighty and horrible at keeping in touch with people and taking the initiative on my own.

[The King Of Dreams]

I can really relate to this. For whatever reason, there are only a few people in my life who really make the effort to reach out to me and keep in contact with me. The rest of them, even people I really get along with and have good relationships with, I generally don't speak to unless I contact them first. I'm one of those people who's "impossible to forget, but hard to remember." It's worse because I'm so flighty and horrible at keeping in touch with people and taking the initiative on my own.

I couldn't have said it better myself!

[christmaslover]

I can really relate to this. For whatever reason, there are only a few people in my life who really make the effort to reach out to me and keep in contact with me. The rest of them, even people I really get along with and have good relationships with, I generally don't speak to unless I contact them first. I'm one of those people who's "impossible to forget, but hard to remember." It's worse because I'm so flighty and horrible at keeping in touch with people and taking the initiative on my own.

You have all my understanding! That is exactly how it is. Very strange. And sad.. Do you think it is so because people believe we always have people arround us and are so happy? Most people believe I have a 100 % perfect life until they get to know me, since I am so enthusiastic and kind in meeting with people.