[Tridentus]

i met an Irish woman on my travels who was able to relate to me in being totally devoted to finding out how i and other human beings grow and function- she's applied it in climbing her field by knowing how to manage people and i plan to apply it in a career in psychology..

one of several really interesting conversations we had was about finding yourself and as usual she pinpointed exactly my point of view. i've been actively trying to find out who i am for the last few years- i'm sure all ENFPs can relate.. i've experimented with different personnas, and while i know myself better than ever i still have a long way to go. the strange thing is that it feels like a decision- which choice is of course what PROVES who i am, but it's still strange to feel i can pick and choose.
but she said something i already knew and that struck me- you can't reach your maximum as a person until you have made your choice- then you can really zoom ahead and be sure of yourself 100% of the time.. now i'm in no rush to accomplish that- i want to keep my options open for now, and yet i believe once you've settled on who you are that is the moment you are an adult..



how do you view those years in your teens and early twenties? do you relate to me or do you feel like you're being dragged along by what life tells you to be? or some other view?

[The King Of Dreams]

I don't. I feel that I'm just becoming a better version of myself. A King Of Dreams 2.0 if you will.

[Nafatali]

I call myself lucky because I ‘found myself’ as a teenager while a lot of ENFPs I know who are in their 20s and 30s are still trying to figure that out about themselves. I consider myself lucky to have grown up around NFs and NTs (I think that played a big part in it). I’m very comfortable with who I am and settled. I’m not interested in changing to suit this Sensory filled society’s expectations of me.
I’ve gone through some pretty traumatic crap in my life but I find that knowing who I am and what I stand for has been the anchor I needed to get me through it and come out with minimal repercussions *twitch twitch* .
That’s one thing I love about being an ENFP, we can take anything this world dishes out to us… including the end of the world!

[etherealuntouaswithin]

.........how do you view those years in your teens and early twenties? do you relate to me or do you feel like you're being dragged along by what life tells you to be? or some other view?

Well..im going on 18 yrs.I find that Life is overwhelmingly experiential,a journey in which the freedom to be one's self (in the vastness, complexity and variety this may entail) is guaranteed.....but as a result has absolutely no finality regarding our comprehension of it.I believe that the greatest proof that you are,is simply to be.Muster the courage to just live,change with the tides of life,envelop yourself in it-explore the breadth and beauty of your path,and feel yourself go along on the journey-"the journey is the destination"...this is how i feel myself along my lifes path.

[lovinUsuju]

i met an Irish woman on my travels who was able to relate to me in being totally devoted to finding out how i and other human beings grow and function- she's applied it in climbing her field by knowing how to manage people and i plan to apply it in a career in psychology..

one of several really interesting conversations we had was about finding yourself and as usual she pinpointed exactly my point of view. i've been actively trying to find out who i am for the last few years- i'm sure all ENFPs can relate.. i've experimented with different personnas, and while i know myself better than ever i still have a long way to go. the strange thing is that it feels like a decision- which choice is of course what PROVES who i am, but it's still strange to feel i can pick and choose.
but she said something i already knew and that struck me- you can't reach your maximum as a person until you have made your choice- then you can really zoom ahead and be sure of yourself 100% of the time.. now i'm in no rush to accomplish that- i want to keep my options open for now, and yet i believe once you've settled on who you are that is the moment you are an adult..

how do you view those years in your teens and early twenties? do you relate to me or do you feel like you're being dragged along by what life tells you to be? or some other view?

Wow...I just wrote a blog entry about this. You know, it takes a lot of thinking for ENFPs to figure out what they want to do and if its the right thing...or just to go with the flow. Some choose to just go with the flow and others really like to plan it out. My personal belief is that once you find out what you truly want to do and you go for it, thats when you are at your best and are really comfortable with who you are. Those people that are doing something with their lives and making the world a better place, think about how wonderful their life must be, full of adventures and doing things they love to do. Those type of people should be our source of inspiration!
Look into yourself, see where you get your inspiration from...because the best ideas come from those ideas of others that inspire you.

[Paradox of Vigor]

I have true power in self-awareness!

Sorry I thought I'd just ride in on my intellectual high-horse and see how it went from there.

[tine]

I'm 19 now and haven't settled on anything! I'd like to have an idea of what I want from life so I could actively move towards it, but haven't worked myself out. It might be because all my friends have a plan (they know what they want to be and what they want) that I feel the need to close some of my open doors and focus!

[pmj85]

I'm 25 (26 in September) and I'm still staggering around thinking "WHAT THE HELL!?!" in relation to where my life is or isn't going. Currently:

- I work in I.T. - would it be a good move to get relevant qualifications in that field so I can earn more money by moving into managerial roles, a point I should already be at?

- I'm studying Psychology - would it be best to concentrate on that for the next few years and change career asap, 'plodding' along in I.T. until then?

- I want to sack both I.T. and Psychology off, grab a backpack and head off into the sunset. I don't care where I go or how I get there, I just know that I need to go

- Should I travel or should I get a mortgage and settle down?

- Should I save for a mortgage or buy a new car (which I'm test driving today) ?

Every single answer sparks another question until I once again find myself at the point where I have literally no idea what the hell is going on. My head is such a mess at the moment; I'm finding it hard to focus. Perhaps I'm trying too hard though - I'm having a bit of a crisis lately because I'm starting to fret that it's now time to grow up. I just don't feel quite ready, though. Like I'm waiting for something. But then according to my Ennegram type (7), that's what I do best - waiting around for something better to come along.

Ugh. Pre-coffee rants are never a good idea.

Basically, my heart says travel - go forth into the big wide world and don't look back. I have felt this way for a long time now.

My head, however, tells me to grow up, get a place of my own and get a career.

Meh.

[Tridentus]

travel man.. do it. if you're going to travel now is the time to do it. most backpackers i meet are 22-27 so you're at the perfect age and you can study once you get back. i'm a type 7 enfp like you and there are three things that feel like meant to be fits for me- teaching, psychology and travelling. even when i start my career (ill be around the same age as you) in psychology i plan to move countries to at least see new environments whilst having a proper career- i want to live in canada for a couple of years if possible.

plus when you are travelling you meet so many people who influence you and can help you find your way and discover yourself. the only resource that you are considering is time- and if you are ready to switch careers at 27 what difference will it make at 29? i don't get people who feel the need to settle down in their late 20s because they feel they are "getting on"- i think your peak years (especially as a guy) are during your 30s and i know i won't settle down until i'm 35ish because you have 30, 40, 50 years after that to live a settled life so why do it early?

[Sillia Rosa]

I'm 25 (26 in September) and I'm still staggering around thinking "WHAT THE HELL!?!" in relation to where my life is or isn't going. Currently:

- I work in I.T. - would it be a good move to get relevant qualifications in that field so I can earn more money by moving into managerial roles, a point I should already be at?

- I'm studying Psychology - would it be best to concentrate on that for the next few years and change career asap, 'plodding' along in I.T. until then?

- I want to sack both I.T. and Psychology off, grab a backpack and head off into the sunset. I don't care where I go or how I get there, I just know that I need to go

- Should I travel or should I get a mortgage and settle down?

- Should I save for a mortgage or buy a new car (which I'm test driving today) ?

Every single answer sparks another question until I once again find myself at the point where I have literally no idea what the hell is going on. My head is such a mess at the moment; I'm finding it hard to focus. Perhaps I'm trying too hard though - I'm having a bit of a crisis lately because I'm starting to fret that it's now time to grow up. I just don't feel quite ready, though. Like I'm waiting for something. But then according to my Ennegram type (7), that's what I do best - waiting around for something better to come along.

Ugh. Pre-coffee rants are never a good idea.

Basically, my heart says travel - go forth into the big wide world and don't look back. I have felt this way for a long time now.

My head, however, tells me to grow up, get a place of my own and get a career.

Meh.

"There is a famous Indian story about the great battle between the blind man and the cripple which I think you will all enjoy. I came across this story first is Osho's book on Courage, The Joy of Living Dangerously. Here is how it goes. In a remote village in the outskirts of Punjab there lived 2 sworn enemies. One chap was blind and the other was a cripple. They just could not get along. No matter what one did, it would upset the other and visa versa. For years this battle raged on and the animosity between them grew fierce and caustic.

As fate would have it though, during one very hot and dry summer a terrible fire broke out in the village and began consuming everything in its path. The villagers began to flee in fear as there was no stopping the inferno. In the panic, the blind man and the cripple were forgotten about and left to fend for themselves. They now had a big problem. The blind man did not know which way to go in order to escape the fire, and the cripple, who could see the path to safety, could take no action regarding it. So both were stuck.

Luckily for them, the desire to live was greater than their hatred for each other, so they decided to work together in order to save their lives. The blind man put the cripple on his shoulders, who then directed him on which way to go in order to escape. Thus, working as a team, they were successful and even ended up becoming friends.

Who is the blind man and who is the cripple? The blind man is your mind and the cripple is your heart. What is the fire? The fire is your suffering. The mind is the instrument through which you can move, act -- but it is blind, in that it does not know which way to go. It endlessly debates, weighing pros and cons, wobbling between what will be gained and what will be lost if certain action was to be taken. It cannot see how to escape the suffering. The heart, on the other hand, can see clearly the way out, but does not have any means to act. In order to act, it needs the mind. So they need each other. But, more importantly the heart needs to sit on top of the mind, as the cripple sat on the shoulders of the blind man. With the heart leading the way, the mind becomes intelligent. Give the heart its precedence and wisdom will then emerge and guide you safely out of your suffering."