[ISTLgal]

Hey ENFPs.

Apparently, according to socionics ISTp and ENFp otherwise known as ISTJ and ENFP are duals which means that we are romantically suited to one another.

Personally, I would feel uncomfortable getting into a relationship with an NF as they are so different!



I have an ENFP male friend, and there is defiantly a spark there, but I would have never thought to take it any further because we are so different.

Does anyone have experience dating ISTJ, and what has been your experience?

[tine]

I have a friend who says he's an ISTJ and I would never date him. I'm sure there are nice ones, but he's quite unhealthy and so incredibly rigid, sees everything in black or white and refuses to accept anyone might be right if it means him being wrong. Though I'm not sure if he is an ISTJ, he just says he is and he's unhealthy as I mentioned, so I guess it would be hard to judge.

[difromoz]

According to my experience with ISTJ / ENFP relationship dynamics...I'd never recommend it as it's more work than you could ever imagine. Sure the ISTJ is vastly attractive to the ENFP for various reasons but...it's a nightmare when things aren't working. I found the lack of empathy and compassion along with excessive criticism and negativity very diliberating. Totally destroyed my self-esteem and made me question my own values, sanity and general sunny disposition. basically...we were toxic to each other.

Did I love him? Yes...very much so. Do I still love him? Unsure as I am dealing with grief and loss at this time. Will I take him back when he eventually comes back in six months or so? Not this time as I need to take good care of myself.

[hoom]

I'm going to cite this as an explanation as to why relationships of duality are rather undesirable: ENFP women, which personality type you are attracted to most

[MuChApArAdOx]

[QUOTE=difromoz;1059052]According to my experience with ISTJ / ENFP relationship dynamics...I'd never recommend it as it's more work than you could ever imagine. Sure the ISTJ is vastly attractive to the ENFP for various reasons but...it's a nightmare when things aren't working. I found the lack of empathy and compassion along with excessive criticism and negativity very diliberating. Totally destroyed my self-esteem and made me question my own values, sanity and general sunny disposition. basically...we were toxic to each other.

Sorry to hear all this sweets. For some reason i'm not convinced that type has anything to do with bad relationships.
My friends are in relationships with all sorts of different types, and the relationships are beautiful. I really think it
has more to do with the person themselves. If they come from a difficult back ground, had bad experiences etc. this
can change the outcome of who they become as people, no matter what type they are. You did the right thing
for yourself. ENFP can be so busy taking care of others, we tend to forget about our own needs unless we stay
conscience and aware. Take good care of yourself first, the rest will follow :)

[WMDistraction]

It all depends on the individual. There is no "ideal" type for anyone, including ISTJ/ENFP. The 16 types, for how specific they can be, are mere archetypes of major personality patterns psychologists have observed. No two people are identical, even within the same types, and that fact alone means that no one type is "ideal" for any other type.

[JimmyD]

ENFP?... ISTJ?...
You must be joking!

[hmwith]

I've dated an ISTJ seriously (almost two years). I ended up coming out of the relationship hating everything about myself, because he made me feel like everything that I did and thought was wrong.

[ISTLgal]

Wow! From these replies it looks as though socionics has really got it wrong! Maybes its all theory and no practical testing has been done!! Or maybe they're the best types for a relationship when both are healthy individuals, but seriously, who is healthy!!?? We're all a bit screwed up. I guess some more than others. Thanks for the insights, my intuition was correct!

[Wordsword]

From my understanding, compatibility helps when there are partially shared traits. For example, INTJs and ENFPs work well together because both of us are intuition types but are still so different that the contrast works. Unfortunately, ISTJs and ENFPs don't share any psychological traits so the contrast is too great. However, as WMDistraction pointed out, it can work if the two people work at it on the individual level.

My advice would be to never pass up on a chance at love. For me at least, a broken heart is better than an empty heart.