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the INFJ/ENFP Dynamic

[ENFP] 
21K views 60 replies 21 participants last post by  Nafatali 
#1 ·
So... might not be news to some of the more perceptive residents here, but Dejavu and I met up over winter break and spent a 16 days living together. We've been dating long distance for a while now... we met in the thread about INFJs being the ideal match for ENFPs.

We really had quite a spark from the getgo so it's been more than worth it, despite the distance. Haha, here we are



Typical INFJ death stare... (Was trying to smile, but I look cold as ever).. and her with her bubbly, unstoppable cute-ness.

ENFP and INFJ really has a great dynamic... Reading over the "Do you like INFJs" thread, I didn't really see any real description of what the INFJ/ENFP dynamic... is. So I asked Dejavu what she thought our dynamic was... Why we worked so well.

And I landed on a conclusion, at least from my point of view.

-Her Ne really energizes my Ni. I love it, and it really sparks discussion. Theorizing with each other is one of the more rewarding things we do together. We both appreciate each other's logic really well, and we can build upon each other.
-Just watching Ne-Fi is just so adorably cute... it brings to her a certain brightness that I find irresistible and enrapturing.
-Both of us are really ethical people. Even though I approach it from Fe, and she approaches it from Fi, I'd be hard-pressed to think of any situation that we came to different ethical judgments. that is to say... our values line up extremely well. (This is the main thing I think about when I hear that ENFPs and INFJs are different, but that they really GET each other... the ethics we share)

Anyway, if she and I represent your typical INFJ/ENFP relationship, then I gotta say: It works.
 
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#2 ·
Heh, yeah... it can be such a good fit. I like what you said about ethics especially. My INFJ ex loved that same thing about me, but over the years she delved deeper, and I think my ethics confused her a bit. Something about moral relativism seeming a bit daunting. Just, if it ever comes down to you taking a stand that someone is inherently good/bad, and she says neither, she's the one who's right. :wink:
 
#3 ·
I think both being ethical sorts of people is certainly a big part of it, but also a mutual sense of compassion for others. We care a lot about our relationships with others, and we both look for deep and meaningful connections in our interactions with those we value.

My INFJ friend and I both know if we ever have a problem the other person will be there for them. We are willing to put a lot into the friendship, and really value each others feelings. Both of us tend to end up looking after and supporting people who are not very relibale when we need support, so we really vaule that we would go well out of our way to help the other person. We know we can really trust and be open with each other, as we value trust and emotional dependability equally.

I think that type of quolity is the sort of thing that is really going to be a big factor in a romantic relationship too.

We can both relate well to the other person, but we can also help each other where we have a weakness, if we are willing to let each other. The difficulty is, at least with me and my INFJ, we both think we are very insightful about the world and people, and we often need to remind ourselves the other person is pretty good at that too, and it's worth taking their advice now and then.

The reflectivness of ENFPs works well with any introvert. I'll talk quite and bit and then just be happy to sit with my friend in silence, reading or listening to music. I need my space, and she understands that. I like I can go off and be really busy and distracted, and she wont mind I have been preocupied or spending less time with her. We just go on as normal next time we meet up.

I give a lot of brightness to my INFJs life, I get her out into the world, but doing things we both enjoy. I definatly bring out the childish side she likes to pretend she doesn't have. She is such a soft and cuddily person under her INFJ death stare and very directed mannor of talking. I think she's pretty cute really, but she tutts this away. She gets me to be more seriouse and helps me with making decisions when I am feeling a bit over whelmed.

The abstract imaginations we both share due to N factor a lot too, as she just gets my overly metaphorical woffle, and I just get her vague statments. Our other friends get confused as sometimes we start talking about something, then drop off with lots of hand motions and nodding...and we tend to have jokes and things that only we get.

Not every INFJ and ENFP are going to work, but I think there is a lot to be said for INFJs and ENFPs makeing great partners or close friends/confidonts.

(I'm really happy for you guys, your picture make me smile)
 
#5 ·
Ah the INFJ death stare! :D! If it isnt that then its the 'im morally opposed' grin. LOL!
You two look so sweet!
I find that I always tend to gavitate to INFJs and they to me. My brother is an INFJ and when we go hang out together and I meet with his friends or we meet new people its always the INFJs (or his insanely halarious ENTJ friend) that I wind up connecting with the best. INFJs are pretty rare but guaranteed, I'll end up finding them LOL
 
#9 ·
Aww...Btmangan knows how to make me smile. :blushed: Meeting on this forum was a lucky thing for the pair of us and it makes me so happy to think of where we are now. I started out hoping for a relationship with an INFJ...but now all I want is one with Btmangan. <3

As for the ENFP INFJ relationship dynamic, well, I find that hard to put into words. I feel like we bring a balance to each other. We both have our observations about the world, our own theories and ideas. We're able to give each other new ways of looking at things. I feel like we're perfectly suited to aid each other's personal growth, as we can offer new insights.

Ni is fascinating. It's a perfect match for my Ne. It's very mysterious and deep. I feel like INFJs can bring ENFPs to more serious places than we usually go. Ni definitely helps Ne to focus on one subject for just a bit longer than it is used to.

Overall, ENFPs and INFJs are a very cool match and they can do so much good for each other. I'm definitely a fan of the pairing. :wink:
 
#12 ·
Yay!!!! OMG!! I found my INFJ gal on here too we should start a dating service and make some $$$$ to support our relationships!!! Hahahahaahahahahahaha

Me and Eclipsethesun met on a forum as well and will be going to school together in the summer :) We are at long distance right now which is not a problem :) You mentioned that you both were long distance? Tell us about it!!! I love details btw so gush away as much as you like!!!! :crazy: Well I know Dejavu you can gush alot about this!! Please give me all the romantic details if your INFJ can't!!! Hahahahahahahahahahaha

This is so exciting gah!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for y'all!!!!!!!! :crazy:
 
#13 ·
Oh yeah!!!! Me and eclipsethesun were talking on the phone right now and I told her about this post so we are both looking at it at the same time cause we are dorks!!! And eclipsethesun is very on edge that I will start saying things I am not supposed to about us!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Yes we are dorks and I am glad to see other dorks out there!! Woohoo So I am laughing on the phone to make her uncomfortable while I type.... I love teasing her because she gets her feathers all ruffeled.... And eclipsethesun is saying that I am prying but I told her its okay because Dejavu the ENFP might talk as much or more as I would!!
 
#15 ·
Oh yeah!!!! Me and eclipsethesun were talking on the phone right now and I told her about this post so we are both looking at it at the same time cause we are dorks!!!!
Oh... you mean kind of like how @avalanche183 said "OMG YOU NEED TO COME READ THIS THREAD RIGHT NOW! YOU'LL LOVE IT!!!" and we Skyped so he could see my reaction because he knew I would basically die and melt into a puddle of adoration?

I think it's safe to say we're all dorks...
 
#17 ·
INFJ are just so Yammy. I love the way they make me feel. I would have to agree with INFJ being a nice match for an ENFP.:happy:
 
#29 ·
Congrats to the awesome couple(s)! :happy:

This topic makes me all fuzzy inside.
Again.
*glares at @StevieRay with a "you-know-what-I'm-talking-about-look".*
 
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#30 ·
Well, I have to say first and foremost: CONGRATULATIONS! :laughing::happy:, it's always nice to see a truly uplifting thread here.

As for INFJ/ENFP dynamics; I get what you guys mean. I myself have been dating an INFJ girl, whilst we're not in the "official" world of coupledom and what not, I must say I like the INFJ-ENFP dynamic. Initially I was often sceptical of being able to date my INFJ. For starters, the whole "being polite and listening with rapt attention" totally threw me. In true ENFP form, I spent a few hours truly worried I was boring the hell out of her because she never had anything to say. Then I realised, "Holy crap, she's actually paying a HELL of a lot of attention".

Since that epiphany, I realised that if you invite an INFJ to comment on your ENFP ramblings; my heavens they can comment! I've only ever dated an (estimated ISFJ) and one ENTJ. So this was my first foray into NF society. I used to think my ideal partner would be an INFP (based on the fact that I get on with them like a house on fire). However, the INFJ mindset is a total breath of fresh air. When we start exchanging opinions, she often tells me she's amazed that I "get" her opinions with so little question/challenge. But what an INFJ says often makes sense, even to an ENFP. Ni and Fe help me put my own views into perspective. I honestly have learned a lot in a very short period of time, so I'd definitely say that the INFJ-ENFP dynamic is incredibly fun, grounding and very enriching :happy:
 
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#34 ·
In true ENFP form, I spent a few hours truly worried I was boring the hell out of her because she never had anything to say.
Ne is a great brainstorm device... Of course, when you guys get worried... Ne becomes a great device for brainstorming doom-and-gloom scenarios.

:sad:

. But what an INFJ says often makes sense, even to an ENFP. Ni and Fe help me put my own views into perspective.
Yeah... ENFPs get me, and I get ENFPs... Even though our functions are all whacky...

But for some reason INFPs don't really get me. (wut?)
 
#33 ·
StevieRay said:
OMG you are making my face red now! hahahahahaha I don't gush like this and I don't even care! Hahahahaha You are so gracious!
I'll take that as a compliment. With that, I mean I'll say thank you, give a crooked smile and look down, away from your face, a little embarrassed but happy.
Oh and suit yourself:wink:

@mrniceftw , I'll second the part with dancing. Waaaaay to self-conscious to be comfortable with that unless I trust everyone there.




Now I'm going to stop dragging this of-topic and be quiet.
 
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#35 ·
I'll take that as a compliment. With that, I mean I'll say thank you, give a crooked smile and look down, away from your face, a little embarrassed but happy.
Oh and suit yourself:wink:

@mrniceftw , I'll second the part with dancing. Waaaaay to self-conscious to be comfortable with that unless I trust everyone there.




Now I'm going to stop dragging this of-topic and be quiet.
You are in the ENFP forum and as a rule of thumb you are expected to talk alot... Yes we will talk about deep things all day long :crazy:
 
#37 ·
Unfortunately, it's usually the INFJs who can notice other ENFPs. You guys are pretty non-existent. Where can INFJs find you? I personally would like to get married to a mature ENFP.
 
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#38 ·
Taken from a previous post i left in another thread.:happy:

This is a tricky question, only because we have many introverted days. My guess would be
customer service. For ex: Retail. She would be the first to approach you, smiling, asking if she can
help you. Very upbeat, probably making small talk at the same time. Also grocery stores, cashiers.
Again, she will be smiling, asking you if you found everything you needed, making small talk. Tour guides,
festivals, waitress at a restaurant. Again you will know by how she communicates. Smiling, maybe feeling
a bit awkward, yet smiling, and friendly. ENFP are sincere, so even if their feeling shy or overwhelmed at their
job, they generally keep smiling, maybe making small jokes or giggling to keep the customer entertained.

Introverted times. Bookstores, somewhere quiet. Art museums, parks, shopping malls.

If all else fails...nightclubs. We love to dance , be a little wild and crazy at times. You will recognize our
energy, look for who the men are trying to engage with ( not to tut my own horn ) ENFP never lack
for attention. Hope this helps .
 
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#41 ·
As an INFJ I enjoy more 1 to 1, so standing there with alot of guys who are engaged for whatever purpose, meh I can do without. I want to connect 100% with 1 person rather than attempt to connect with people I don't want to. Also being a male INFJ and being more timid and "different" then typical males also makes it awkward, I say things that just seem not the "norm" and "why do I think that way" so I get that social outcast thing. If you are engaged with them and enjoy their company then it appears I don't fit that and so I walk the other way. Also it seems like I'm waiting to get picked for a team and fear being picked last so I move on with my thoughts. Definitely know what you mean about carrying a lot on our minds, omg it never ends and sometimes I get headaches a lot. I feel we release our energy through our thoughts and exerting our so-called "knowledge" to others. Socializing can tax our energy a lot, not with 1 person but when it's several because it turns into processing too much info.
 
#47 ·
So I just started dating an ENFP, and I have a question for all of you other ENFPs on here. One of my major fears is that he'll get bored of me. ENFPs are so full of energy and spontaneity, and as much as I enjoy it, I get concerned that I drag him down. I've noticed that he's a lot more playful with his friends, and I think part of it is just that I'm not nearly as silly by nature as he is. It's something I LOVE about him, and it's something I try to tap into (for him)...

As ENFPs, do you feel like you need someone as outwardly adventurous or spontaneous as you are? I'm willing to go/do anything he wants to do (in other words, I'm all for piggy-backing on his creativity and sharing those spontaneous experiences with him), but wouldn't he rather have someone who is just as driven and extraverted-ly imaginative as he is?
 
#48 ·
My best friend is an INFJ, she is the oldest friend I have and I could not imagine getting bored of her. I also enjoy a chance to be more seriouse, and bring out the sillyness in her a bit more. I know she aprechiates that about me, and I like to be aprechiated...she does a lot for me, and it's something I can give back.

I enjoy her piggy-backing on my crazy imagination...I am guessing you're undervalueing how much you contribute to the relationship. I mean my friend understands my wild ideas and helps me sort them out into the best ones with her Ni. I think that is amazing.

Yes I like extraverts too...but I wouldn't neccisarily prefer another Ne user in a romantic relationship. I think both would work just fine with me. Ask your new partner what it is they like about you most as a person, I bet they suprise you. :happy:
 
#53 ·
*insert a huge, happy laughter, full of mirth and joyous irony*

Go go Gadget Bandwagon!

Congratulations:laughing:
 
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