every time i take a personality test i feel conflicted. the test says "what you've been like for most of your life", but for me that's a hard question.
so i'm curious about how ENFPs develop and whether there is any pattern in it.
definitely a happy adventurous baby. i have vague recollections of this age and from descriptions from relatives i know i was a smiley happy child, but even then i can recall feeling that i saw things differently from others. i was very assertive compared to my friends at the time and had no concept of social boundaries or shyness.. i couldn't understand why kids didn't want to leave mommy for school- school was awesome!
around this time you could swear i was an introvert. i had family troubles with my mom and step-dad arguing every night and often my mom would take me out of the house to get away from him and we'd end up staying at her friend's house. so looking back i guess it could have been cos if stress, but i was quite a quirky child. i had friends, but when i moved school i was very shy for the first year or two, until i met the group who would be my childhood friends..
crap the library is closing. ill finish this later. yay! wireless is still on! i'm just sitting outside like a hobo leeching off the dregs of internet even though the place is closed.
ok. i met my first group of friends who lived near me at school. i used to annoy the crap out of their parents' by staying over all the time but it was awesome. i was still a less than assertive child, and i remember being very sensitive and always wanting to do the right thing and be nice. over the last couple of years before i moved to england i was growing in confidence i guess, but i can't believe i used to hang out with the same 3-4 people all the time since i can never do that nowadays. the first time i tasted ENFP awesomeness was high school where i went for just a year before england. i had so many friends it was insane, but i still wasn't that assertive. i was a lot more booksmart than nowadays though, i guess you could say i was a geeky child. i read a LOT which i hardly ever do anymore.
i guess it was around this time i stopped being the quirky quiet kid and started feeling more confident. i had a spell when i moved to england when i was shy at first but settled in. i guess summer camp when i was 13,14,15 really helped. probably when i was 14-15 was when i really exploded into ENFPness and started going in my own direction instead of following others. i started finding that i was superconfident when meeting new people and people would follow me and look to me, which was a massive change from who i used to be. i was still a sensitive kid- far more sensitive than i am now. 15 was when i first found out girls liked the whole friendly thing i had going on, but i was a sickly romantic too. i remember being serious about joining the navy for about five years, WOW would that have been a bad idea.
probably the biggest period of change and growth in my entire life. this age was all about finding myself, and i'm such a different person to the ideal of myself i had back then. i was the smart kid who was good at maths, was ambitious and wanted to be a lawyer and was an incurable romantic about every girl i went out with- even though that glass shattering moment would always happen incredibly quickly and i'd inevitably get bored. obviously i don't want to be a lawyer anymore, i don't see myself as "smart", just average, and i'm a lot more realistic about my expectations with girls. i also realised lots of things about myself, like that i LOVE novelty, and of course i found out about mbti which has made me realise i want to do psychology at uni. i went through a faze where i was obsessed with health though, it was weird, i was stressed and left school for college the following year, but i would run miles everyday, count callories and do research about health and shit, yeah weird. i read that this is something to do with Si, but weird.
at 19 i'm doing a year out travelling in australia. nowadays i take things in my stride far easier than i used to, i like just going with the flow and having fun, i guess i feel like i know myself better than i ever have, and i'm LOVING INDEPENDENCE!! it's exactly as good as i thought it would be- i actually get to choose whatever the hell i wanna do now! the world is my fucking oyster and it tastes so good..
ok that was an essay and a half. i hope you guys read this, i know i probably made it wayyy too long but oh well.