Male ENFP

Male ENFP

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This is a discussion on Male ENFP within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I can def tell why they call us "male feminists." I get along with women much better than I do ...

  1. #1
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Male ENFP

    I can def tell why they call us "male feminists." I get along with women much better than I do with men, I just don't like the assumptions of my sexuality. Almost every girl I'm close to knows that I'm not gay, but I can't help but sense that many of the guys that have known me for a while think I'm gay. This is usually due to the fact that I can talk to people on a deep personal level and I guess it's not socially normal for a guy to be able to be like me. I don't come off really gay or anything, like I said it's only the people that know me really well because I don't come off gay at all until you see how I handle the way I talk to people, especially women. Anyways, I was just wondering if any other straight male ENFPs have any thoughts or advice on being a "male feminist"
    chadlinski, SophiaMarie and __William thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    LOL! Male Feminist! I never thought of ENFP males like that before! Looking back at some of my threads however made me realize I might be one! Reason I get along better with women is because I grew up around them. Never had any male figures in the house besides myself.

  3. #3
    ENFJ - The Givers

    I grew up basically without a mom, I lived with an ISTJ dad (my opposite go figure). My mom left me when I was young and I had a step mom and 2 step sisters that tought me alot about girls when I was young... I think that might have something to do with it.

  4. #4
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Lol. It happens to a lot of us. for sure. And it is quite common for guy ENFPs. I mean, Joe Butt himself says that we have "zany charm" which can insinuate that we will do things that are unconventional and/or naive. Sometimes because of our desire to be sponatneous mixed with our depth of feeling, some of the things we say or do may come across as feminine.

    Though I do get along better with women, I usually find that because ... well, they actually talk back. *sigh* Unfortunately in our society, if a guy slips once or twice in social roles, there seems to be little forgiveness.

    If you are wanting to work on this, I'd say its a good idea. You can be ENFP and come across as a straight guy--there's nothing wrong with that. It all comes down to what you do and say (and what you don't do and don't say). If you think there is something that is funny to say in a gay voice, it might be best to "save your reputation" rather than get a laugh. Make friends with SJs and SPs and learn their language (thats tough for me, but I'm trying). Be willing to accept that most guys won't wanna talk as deep as you are used to talking. If they seem cold, they aren't necessarily against you (and most likely they aren't... unless you're just being annoying). Be willing to form several typical "guy interests" like football, cars, women (that shouldn't be too hard ), guns, politics. Develop a few of your S and T traits when in the presence of other guys. Here is practical Biblical advice: "A man who has friends must he himself be friendly..."(*) which the next step from that is, to have friends---you must learn to like what they like. Olde Skool author Dale Carnegie states that if you aren't truly interested in other people, its gonna be the hardest thing to win them over.

    Go ahead, observe what the typical "man" stereotype is, and fit into a couple of those traits. As long as you aren't betraying who you are at the core, a little adaptation won't hurt you

    (*prov. 18:24a)


    EDIT: O, and Lance: Way to be the man of the household
    kph5034 and Loyalgirl thanked this post.

  5. #5
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Quote Originally Posted by Rushing Wind View Post
    Lol. It happens to a lot of us. for sure. And it is quite common for guy ENFPs. I mean, Joe Butt himself says that we have "zany charm" which can insinuate that we will do things that are unconventional and/or naive. Sometimes because of our desire to be sponatneous mixed with our depth of feeling, some of the things we say or do may come across as feminine.

    Though I do get along better with women, I usually find that because ... well, they actually talk back. *sigh* Unfortunately in our society, if a guy slips once or twice in social roles, there seems to be little forgiveness.

    If you are wanting to work on this, I'd say its a good idea. You can be ENFP and come across as a straight guy--there's nothing wrong with that. It all comes down to what you do and say (and what you don't do and don't say). If you think there is something that is funny to say in a gay voice, it might be best to "save your reputation" rather than get a laugh. Make friends with SJs and SPs and learn their language (thats tough for me, but I'm trying). Be willing to accept that most guys won't wanna talk as deep as you are used to talking. If they seem cold, they aren't necessarily against you (and most likely they aren't... unless you're just being annoying). Be willing to form several typical "guy interests" like football, cars, women (that shouldn't be too hard ), guns, politics. Develop a few of your S and T traits when in the presence of other guys. Here is practical Biblical advice: "A man who has friends must he himself be friendly..."(*) which the next step from that is, to have friends---you must learn to like what they like. Olde Skool author Dale Carnegie states that if you aren't truly interested in other people, its gonna be the hardest thing to win them over.

    Go ahead, observe what the typical "man" stereotype is, and fit into a couple of those traits. As long as you aren't betraying who you are at the core, a little adaptation won't hurt you

    (*prov. 18:24a)


    EDIT: O, and Lance: Way to be the man of the household
    Well I don't ever really say gay things or make gay gestures... its mostly the difference in the way I veiw women and the way other guys view women. It seems like I appreciate women alot more... and I find myself knowing my friends' girlfriends more than they do. I'm not a guy that just go out and sleep with any random girl... I need to have a well-rounded understanding of who the girl is. I myself find these characteristics nobel... but I always become uncomfortable when my buddies are talking bout having sex with random girls and what not... because I just think women deserve more than that. I would do anything for a girl if I loved her... and I mean anything.

    On top of that I usually think most guys are douchebags. I think it's funny how girls sometimes hate on other girls for being permiscious... I do the same thing with guys. Anytime I see a guy trying to get with a girl I get agitated thinking "man... I would be so much better for that girl, that guys a douche." I guess that comes with being an ENFP though haha.

    Overall I love how I appreciate women, I just hate it when other guys dont share the same opinion, and most guys think I'm gay for that. In my opinion, it's less gay... I'm willing to go through alot more to get with a girl than other guys.
    Dina, Charlie, Ashes and 2 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Dude, I swear. If we weren't both ENFPs---I'd be real disturbed right now. I'm not sure I could put my own views any better. Seriously, that is me nearly word-for-word. I hear you. It can be very annoying when it seems your one of 17 guys on the planet who know they could do better (and yet resisting to be arrogant jerks/douches).

    *sigh* "Se la vi, que sera sera, and that's life"
    kph5034 thanked this post.

  7. #7
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Ha I'm glad to hear you feel the same way. Ugh... being an ENFP male isnt easy. I must say though... its nice having the ability to talk to women on a personal level so easily. We can truly say that we aren't like most guys... i use that line alot when talking to girls haha, but its true!

  8. #8
    INTJ - The Scientists

    its simply a macho thing. people have to prove themselves to others. both men and women. thats why people vent, positively or negatively.

    I understand women just as well as I understand men, and I don't have a preference for either, as long as they are of equal wits and can carry a legitimate conversation with me.

    society and media have simply set false ideals of what men and women are supposed to be like.

    simply be yourself no matter what anyone says, state your opinion and show them what you think, nevermind arguing with them. lead by example and perhaps some will follow.

    in today's world theres a tribe for everybody to belong to.

    just look at this tribe



  9. #9
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by kph5034 View Post
    Ha I'm glad to hear you feel the same way. Ugh... being an ENFP male isnt easy. I must say though... its nice having the ability to talk to women on a personal level so easily. We can truly say that we aren't like most guys... i use that line alot when talking to girls haha, but its true!
    True, bro. It is nice to be able to communicate personally with women... but then that is what puts us in the friend zone too often--and frankly, that drives me mad.
    kph5034, Ashes and __William thanked this post.

  10. #10
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Quote Originally Posted by Rushing Wind View Post
    True, bro. It is nice to be able to communicate personally with women... but then that is what puts us in the friend zone too often--and frankly, that drives me mad.

    OMG I KNOW MAN!!!! I hate that so muchhhhhhhhhhh. Happens way too much haha. Ive had so many girls tell me I'm like a big brother to them. Man, fuck that. haha
    Ashes thanked this post.


 

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