[SoftBoiledLife]

For those of you who may or may not recognize me, I'm the dude who was (and still am a bit) infatuated with an ENFP.



Long story short, I've had to voluntarily albeit reluctantly give up on her. We live in two different worlds and I can't stand being around her friends. I detest them and refuse to willingly hang out with them unless absolutely necessary.

Posted this late at night as I felt the need to put what I'm feeling into words.

This is for all you ENFPs out there. This is for all you inspirers who bring joy and happiness to others, both as family members, lovers, and friends.

The Quintessential ENFP
By: A Quiet ISTJ

How should I explain it? How do I verbalize this? Hard to do.

But imagine feeling there was someone out there whom you felt complemented you and made you feel nice inside by just being around her. Again, it's hard to describe. But when you're that shy, dull, gloomy, quiet guy who's always either being a homebody or just hanging out with his own group of nerd friends, it's a joy having someone who makes you smile and laugh through even the littlest of her actions, two things you rarely do in other situations.


Whether she decides to chatter endlessly about how much she loves certain exotic foods or how she is really really excited because of things that you'd normally view as a normal occurrences such as rainy days, you only end up involuntarily smiling and nodding because she contagiously draws you into her sphere of excitement. She thus brings a level of spontaneity and fun into your life. She provides a new perspective of life that you would've never otherwise trusted or credited. You would think through your own super rational logic that your way was the right and only one. But her approach shows that's not necessarily always the case.




Video/song sums up how I'm feeling. Sad and forlorn. But somewhat satisfied and happy.


Done. Had to get that off my chest. Hopefully she won't ever read this.

[Moby]

Whether she decides to chatter endlessly about how much she loves certain exotic foods or is really really excited because of things that you'd normally view as a normal occurrences such as rainy days, you only end up involuntarily smiling and nodding because she contagiously draws you into her sphere of excitement. She thus brings a level of spontaneity and fun into your life.

That is our modus operandi I think. Glad we could help.

My brother-In-Law is an ISTJ and we get along flawlessly...This post isn't a surprise.

[pinkrasputin]

Aw, that is so beautiful.

I know an ISTJ on here made me cry with his level of understanding ENFPs and his willingness to convey his message. It means a lot to us.

Thank you for this.

[SoftBoiledLife]

Double post

[SoftBoiledLife]

Aw, that is so beautiful.

I know an ISTJ on here made me cry with his level of understanding ENFPs and his willingness to convey his message. It means a lot to us.

Thank you for this.

Oh no. I would argue this is just me just (1) getting this off my back (2) providing some encouragement and (3) shamelessly promoting the fact that I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve, something I CAN'T openly do where I am right now.


I would've written more if I were much closer to this girl. Thankfully, I'm not. Otherwise I'm not sure I'd have the will to leave her. It looks like this may just happen next semester as I don't have an interest in staying in her world when it includes people whom I don't desire to be around. It pains me to say this, but I think I may be best off separating myself from her. My school life is just too important and I can't allow my conflicted feelings and my dislike of some people to cloud my judgment.


She's a good soul. Perhaps in another world, things would've been different.

[sassy.girl]

Hey that's very nice of you... and it is true...
My ISTJ date did say similar things that you said...

thanks for that... I can keep reading that when I feel down

[SoftBoiledLife]

Hey that's very nice of you... and it is true...
My ISTJ date did say similar things that you said...

thanks for that... I can keep reading that when I feel down

Hehe, glad to be of encouragement.

Another guy (think he's an INTJ, not sure) who's showing interest and flirting with her is a complete asshole and very good at hiding it when around other people. But still, I wish her the best and I genuinely hope if they end up together that she doesn't get hurt for her sake.

But she doesn't belong to me, so I don't dictate what's good for her.

[pinkrasputin]

Hehe, glad to be of encouragement.

Another guy (think he's an INTJ, not sure) who's showing interest and flirting with her is a complete asshole and very good at hiding it when around other people. But still, I wish her the best and I genuinely hope if they end up together that she doesn't get hurt for her sake.

But she doesn't belong to me, so I don't dictate what's good for her.

You never explained. What don't you like about her friends?

[SoftBoiledLife]

You never explained. What don't you like about her friends?

I won't go into too much detail as even internet anonymity is insecure.


One of her friends gives off the impression of a faker. Every time I talk to her, I get the impression that she's just putting on a front. Her other friend, the dude, is also a faker--but of a different breed. He'll only talk to me or my friends when he wants something. There's a very subtle passive-aggressiveness to his attitude.


This is one of the main reasons I've decided to ditch her along with the fact that she and I are just a bit too different. She's an active socialite and I'm more so the homebody. The attraction was interesting while I entertained it, but now I'm in the stages of simply avoiding her whenever possible and concentrating on what's most important: my school performance and my friends. That's life for ya. Not exactly a happy ending, but probably more so a prelude of more events to come.

[pinkrasputin]

I won't go into too much detail as even internet anonymity is insecure.


One of her friends gives off the impression of a faker. Every time I talk to her, I get the impression that she's just putting on a front. Her other friend, the dude, is also a faker--but of a different breed. He'll only talk to me or my friends when he wants something. There's a very subtle passive-aggressiveness to his attitude.


This is one of the main reasons I've decided to ditch her along with the fact that she and I are just a bit too different. She's an active socialite and I'm more so the homebody. The attraction was interesting while I entertained it, but now I'm in the stages of simply avoiding her whenever possible and concentrating on what's most important: my school performance and my friends. That's life for ya. Not exactly a happy ending, but probably more so a prelude of more events to come.

I find that hard to believe an ENFP would keep the company of "fakers" since that is what we most hate in the world.

However, I believe you. And I completely understand. I do judge people by the friends they have. If you feel uncomfortable around them or if you think they will sabotage, that is important.

However, ENFPs do tend to value their intimate relationships over their friends. My partner is top priority. Relationships are extremely important to us. I wouldn't confuse our single behavior for how we are in a relationship. For instance, I love dating introverts. I mold myself quite nicely with that lifestyle. I would rather be home with my mate, cuddling and watching a movie than "out on the town".

But when I'm single you might find me doing more of those activities. It just depends. I try to hang onto myself and my activities even when I'm in a relationship. But it's never at the expense of a relationship. And I do love spending time with my partner. And sometimes my partner might need space. This is why it's good to go out and hang out with my girlfriends. It gives us each some breathing room.

But I would never pick being a "socialite" over my partner and force him and drag him everywhere if it wasn't his thing. You just need to talk to an ENFP and let them know your likes and dislikes. We are very willing to give in relationships. We want our relationships to be very healthy. It is very important to us.