[ENFP] How can you tell if an ENFP like you in a romantic way or at least fancies you?

How can you tell if an ENFP like you in a romantic way or at least fancies you?

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This is a discussion on How can you tell if an ENFP like you in a romantic way or at least fancies you? within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality


    How can you tell if an ENFP like you in a romantic way or at least fancies you?

    HI even though I知 new to PC I知 hoping you guys are kind enough to help me with my burning question: How can you tell if an ENFP like you in a romantic way or at least fancies you? I am so confused!

    Ok so the situation is this. I moved from my house to a house share about 6 moths ago. The landlord lives there to he痴 3-4 years older than me. He痴 and ENFP and I知 an INFJ and we get on insanely well. We have loads in common, general stuff. food music, hobbies, interest. We are matched in our intelligence, creativity and sense of humour, we have the same laid-back attitude, and we always seem to come to the same conclusions on things. He is so playful and I love it. If were not laughing our socks of at each others jokes, were debating, teaching the other something, playfully bickering, cooking for each other, helping each other out with advise or just listening to what the other has to say. We seem to get into a playful zone where the other housemates are pretty astounded because they have no idea what we are going on about! We look at each other constantly and I can often tell what he痴 thinking or going to say next.
    We seem to be forming a very solid partnership the daily running or the house are done via our behind the scenes partnership

    We once had a misunderstanding where we upset each other a little bit; the way we fix it was smooth, efficient, fair and reasonable. He does seem to understand my strange INFJ mind workings or at least he tries! (Wow F-ing wow)
    So I like him, considering relationships past that have got to pot, this could be a potential winner! I知 not fizzing with desire because I vowed never to go down the unrequited love rout again, but if potentially the attraction is not unrequited then I知 going for it. If not then im glad to have a great friend and remain unaffected.
    Ok potential evidence for (I think)
    He has a pet name for his favourite people, I have that name plus he says I am an A* one!
    Hes always pleased to see me, if he had a tail it would be wagging like mad
    He consults me on a lot of decisions
    The strange hug moment we had only known each other for a couple of days.
    He痴 told me he thinks im very attractive, and intelligent and funny he does try to touch me (but I instinctively pull away a bit)
    I get lots xxx on my messages from him, (I think lots of girls do)
    He痴 likes me to meet and interact with his friends, he evicted this girl at home who made me cry. Hes very strange with me when he痴 drunk.
    He looks at me a lot and there have been a couple of Freudian slips on his part.
    He seem impressed with my general kindness and willingness to help things run smoothly for our house and all that live there. he comments on it, he notices what i do and others dont
    Against + complications
    He seems interested in loads of girls, he痴 a charmer and he痴 always going on dates!
    He痴 in his early 30s and has only ever had 2 relationships that didn稚 last long, he痴 so set in his bachelor ways maybe he would notice a woman that screams 叢otential winner even if she lived with him!! The girls he likes aren稚 like me at all. They are very attractive cool party girls. He seems to be very flirty with everyone. He cant get his hair cut without asking the pretty hairdresser on a date, so why not me?
    He seems more interested in the way girls look than their personality so maybe the fact that we click means nothing to him.

    Im so confused as to whether Im getting clues or not that I keep shelling up. The way he is I would expect that he woud be very forward and clear if liked me in that way but maybe not? I don稚 know what the ENFP signs are?
    Sorry that was so long. Any thought would very appreciate. x x
    lostintranslationn thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I'm not sure about the exact living arrangements but my take on the situation is that he is the owner of the house and he has various room-mates that live with him. If I was the ENFP in that situation I would like to see that there is harmony in the household and I would not get personally or intimately involved with my housemates. He might be the first ENFP guy that you have been close to so you are surprised about how well you click. Being room-mates, you spend alot of time hanging out, making group meals together...this leads to alot of potential emotional intimacy.

    My guess is that he finds you interesting and intriguing but he probably doesn't see you in the relationship rhealm since you have a primary financial relationship in that you are his housemate and paying him rent.

    I don't want to discourage you but I'm thinking there is probably low potential for a relationship. If you moved out and wanted to continue with the friendship to see if it blooms into a relationship then there might be potential in that.
    CharlieENFP thanked this post.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality


    well my rents cheaper than it should be!!! Im not such a good business opertuninty!
    I guess that goes along the lines of if he really liked me he would come out with it. the thing is im so confused!!!
    True he is the first ENFP Iv ever met, and i like the friendship, infact he is the first NF Iv ever met. Im the first INFJ hes ever met to.
    The living arragneent is we are all very good friends and his little sister who is also my friend lives there to. (5 of us)we all socialise outside the house also. I guess im thinking in that situation if I really clicked with someone it wouldnt matter that they rented a room from me. i would see it as good thing since relationships often fall apart when comes to living togther.
    I have to add that he never gets beyond 3 dates with thease girls, because they have nothing in common, and he knows this.
    he does it for fun and compliments! I kinda feel a little bit silly for thinking he might fancy me when he's just being nice...

    he tells me he really likes me all the time, but i dont know what that means. he doesnt actually need to say it. I say it if i fancy someone. thanks for you reply it was a good point. still confused and gethering eveidence

  4. #4
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Quote Originally Posted by sea cucumber View Post
    Hes always pleased to see me, if he had a tail it would be wagging like mad
    Quote Originally Posted by sea cucumber View Post
    He’s told me he thinks im very attractive, and intelligent and funny he does try to touch me (but I instinctively pull away a bit)
    These two things tell me he's interested.

    I have a very, very close friend who is an ENFP. I know alot about how he "thinks" in respect to girls, flirting, crushes and the like. I can share a bit about what I know at least...

    He can come across ultra flirtatious. Unintentionally, even. He loves to have fun and joke around - open up completely - and alot of girls interpret this as "ooh he likes me"...so they poke fun back, get all flirty too, and IF he recognises this, he can either choose to take it further or just keep teasing, now knowing full well. But chances are it was initially accidental on his behalf.

    But then there's his genuine flirting. Which is almost indistinguishable. Except he'll tell you that you're attractive from the start.

    His choice in women might seem a bit shallow...because he's attracted to attractiveness, and will probably want to date a girl JUST for that. Personality is really not even thought of. He tires of the same thing pretty easily (think ADHD, its just how he is) so if he's not seriously and officially dating the girl, he'll just move on. The biggest internal conflict he has is between his eyes, and his heart - the former can win out alot, to his detriment. He knows, in the back of his mind, that personality is very important...."but omg I don't care look how hot she is!!!"

    However...ONCE a relationship develops he takes personality very, very seriously - and it turns out he's an incredibly deep guy, even if it didn't seem so on the surface.

    So imo, I think the guy is interested in you, AS WELL as alot of other chics too. They're just not good at making up their minds. But once they do start dating, don't expect anything but total loyalty. They love stability, even if they have trouble making that happen for themselves.
    CharlieENFP, Maria Urbel, Agile and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #5
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    A show of extreme respect from ENFP, at the very least, shows that he likes you as a potential good friend.

    As for whether or not he likes you, that's the most counter-intuitive idea with ENFPs (for me, at least):

    If he's around you just as much, or more, but seems less social, he probably likes you.
    marrymehotcheeto thanked this post.

  6. #6
    Unknown Personality


    thank you. well I know he's not shallow, but the pretty girl 'oh look another shiny pretty girl' thing is anoying. He tells me Im attravtive and he has done from the start, and whats very sweet was when i was upset and low on confidence i was crying on the phone and confessed i dont think any guy will ever want me he nearly had fit!!!! but then again of corse he cares hes a mate.
    its very difficult to tell if hes flirting properly or not. It driving me abit insane and im on the verg of backing off the friendship. I myself am playfull but not flirty. I cannot flirt, I will however I will suduce pretty fast once i have the green light. we spend a lot of time togther, he doesnt even want to go down the shop with out me sometimes. Also hopefully Im not a total back end of a bus to look at. well i hope! may be me backing off is making him think i dont like him? Im stuck on this one. really if he doesnt fancy me and hes not flirty then i find the friendhip to inteanse and want to shell up, if he does then i will do the oposite and have more fun and open up

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by sea cucumber View Post
    thank you. well I know he's not shallow, but the pretty girl 'oh look another shiny pretty girl' thing is anoying. He tells me Im attravtive and he has done from the start, and whats very sweet was when i was upset and low on confidence i was crying on the phone and confessed i dont think any guy will ever want me he nearly had fit!!!! but then again of corse he cares hes a mate.
    its very difficult to tell if hes flirting properly or not. It driving me abit insane and im on the verg of backing off the friendship. I myself am playfull but not flirty. I cannot flirt, I will however I will suduce pretty fast once i have the green light. we spend a lot of time togther, he doesnt even want to go down the shop with out me sometimes. Also hopefully Im not a total back end of a bus to look at. well i hope! may be me backing off is making him think i dont like him? Im stuck on this one. really if he doesnt fancy me and hes not flirty then i find the friendhip to inteanse and want to shell up, if he does then i will do the oposite and have more fun and open up
    I dunno, maybe the ENFPs can help me out on this one, but why not ask the guy out to a serious venue (like a dinner or something).

    Wouldn't that clear the waters pretty quickly as to whether or not he's serious?

  8. #8
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Btmangan View Post
    I dunno, maybe the ENFPs can help me out on this one, but why not ask the guy out to a serious venue (like a dinner or something).

    Wouldn't that clear the waters pretty quickly as to whether or not he's serious?
    He'll go either way, but he'll be pretty ecstatic if he's into her.

  9. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    'Accidentally' touch his junk and watch his reaction. Prepare to either apologize profusely or receive reciprocation. Either way you'll know where you stand.

    Not comfortable with that? Hard to know with us ENFP, many of us give fewer overt signals to women we are interested in.

    I'm not much help here, sorry and good luck.
    barbalootSuits and Rogue Eagle thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Based on my limiyed experiences with ENFPs, the minute he realizes he likes you, he'll clam up. I say keep having fun just as you are and if you notice him being a little quieter (not avoiding) then you'll know and you can decide whether you'll want to address it or not.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    Btmangan, dejavu, JackK597 and 1 others thanked this post.


 
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