[kaycee]

What stresses you out and how do you deal with--both positively and negatively?


I know I get stressed at work when there are lots of customers and I don't feel like I am going fast enough for them. I get worried that they are getting upset with me.

I tend to get really irritable with people when I am stressed. I don't want people to bother me until I calm down. For example, when I get home from work, I just don't want to talk to my family and if they ask me too many questions, I get frustrated and sarcastic. If I get really, really stressed, I will cry sometimes.

The positive ways I deal are with yoga or deep breathing exercises. I don't remember those too often though. I usually have to force myself to do them.

[ApolloNoUta]

There are two main things that stress me: Work and any relational tensions.

At work, my boss constantly changes her expectations of me in seemingly identical situations. I work at a diner as a busser. I don't have any problems working under the other supervisors, but under her, it is not uncommon at all for her to constantly change how she wants me to do things, or in what order to do them, even if it is the way she does them. It's hard to explain. Or she has done something and blamed it on other people (ie- me) but said "It's okay, I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again." I have gotten over my work stress for the most part, but I have been tempted a couple of times to rip off my apron and fling it at the counter and walk out the door because of the impatience and never-consistent expectations. The customer thing too. The few times I do serve, I am afraid of messing up or afraid that I am making the customers impatient, and am hyper-sensitive to their body language, making assumptions that they are annoyed at me when they really aren't.

Otherwise, the other thing that stresses me is, like today, if my S.O. has a bad day and is all cryptic about it, among other things. When my S.O. gets in a bad mood, it rubs off on me. I don't like seeing him unhappy, and also obviously don't like it when he is short with me (being especially curt when I am trying to be soothing to him). I know it's not all about me, obviously, but it leaves me a bit downtrodden when it seems like the fact I am trying to cheer him up doesn't seem to make a difference. So when he gets irritable, that also makes me very irritable, for a small number of reasons. I know I am not a miracle worker and can't instantly make him happy and he needs some time to recharge, but I don't appreciate being spoken to (or texted) in a curt manner. I don't force conversation upon him.

Also, I don't like my friends being mad at me, especially when I didn't do something to purposely try to upset them (and I never try to purposely upset them) although I understand if it is because I overlooked something and might have seemed careless or whatnot.

So my general reaction to stress is either becoming very irritable and pissy but holding it in due to the location I am at (ie- work) or to vent to one of my friends if they are available and willing to put up with it (I always apologize for taking up their time afterwards) or sobbing. Examples like the above also lead me to feel somewhat passive-aggressive but I have been trying to fight against that inclination...

Otherwise, I am a generally happy and supposedly "overly-optimistic" individual.

[kaycee]

Also, I don't like my friends being mad at me, especially when I didn't do something to purposely try to upset them (and I never try to purposely upset them) although I understand if it is because I overlooked something and might have seemed careless or whatnot.

yes, I am dealing with this right now and it's terrible. Gives me a stomach ache it nags at me so much.

[ApolloNoUta]

yes, I am dealing with this right now and it's terrible. Gives me a stomach ache it nags at me so much.

I know... Has it ever gotten so bad that you pretty much become physically ill?

[kaycee]

Im at that point now. My stomache hurts, my head hurts, and I get chest pains :(

[ApolloNoUta]

Im at that point now. My stomache hurts, my head hurts, and I get chest pains :(

I hope you feel better soon... I know how hard it is to not pay attention to feeling like that when it happens... What I do is either try to occupy myself with something (stupid short YouTube videos) or if all else fails, nap a bunch. If you are able to get to sleep, it helps pass the time by without having to constantly pay attention to all the pains and queasiness and stuff... I'unno if it's the best solution, but either way, hope you figure something out. If you would like to vent or something, sometimes that helps lift the stress a little bit, even if it doesn't get rid of it.

[kaycee]

I hope you feel better soon... I know how hard it is to not pay attention to feeling like that when it happens... What I do is either try to occupy myself with something (stupid short YouTube videos) or if all else fails, nap a bunch. If you are able to get to sleep, it helps pass the time by without having to constantly pay attention to all the pains and queasiness and stuff... I'unno if it's the best solution, but either way, hope you figure something out. If you would like to vent or something, sometimes that helps lift the stress a little bit, even if it doesn't get rid of it.

It like you ARE me! I tend to distract myself on the internet until it get late enough to be a respectable hour to take Ambien.

[pinkrasputin]

There are two main things that stress me: Work and any relational tensions.

At work, my boss constantly changes her expectations of me in seemingly identical situations. I work at a diner as a busser. I don't have any problems working under the other supervisors, but under her, it is not uncommon at all for her to constantly change how she wants me to do things, or in what order to do them, even if it is the way she does them. It's hard to explain. Or she has done something and blamed it on other people (ie- me) but said "It's okay, I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again." I have gotten over my work stress for the most part, but I have been tempted a couple of times to rip off my apron and fling it at the counter and walk out the door because of the impatience and never-consistent expectations. The customer thing too. The few times I do serve, I am afraid of messing up or afraid that I am making the customers impatient, and am hyper-sensitive to their body language, making assumptions that they are annoyed at me when they really aren't.

Otherwise, the other thing that stresses me is, like today, if my S.O. has a bad day and is all cryptic about it, among other things. When my S.O. gets in a bad mood, it rubs off on me. I don't like seeing him unhappy, and also obviously don't like it when he is short with me (being especially curt when I am trying to be soothing to him). I know it's not all about me, obviously, but it leaves me a bit downtrodden when it seems like the fact I am trying to cheer him up doesn't seem to make a difference. So when he gets irritable, that also makes me very irritable, for a small number of reasons. I know I am not a miracle worker and can't instantly make him happy and he needs some time to recharge, but I don't appreciate being spoken to (or texted) in a curt manner. I don't force conversation upon him.

Also, I don't like my friends being mad at me, especially when I didn't do something to purposely try to upset them (and I never try to purposely upset them) although I understand if it is because I overlooked something and might have seemed careless or whatnot.

So my general reaction to stress is either becoming very irritable and pissy but holding it in due to the location I am at (ie- work) or to vent to one of my friends if they are available and willing to put up with it (I always apologize for taking up their time afterwards) or sobbing. Examples like the above also lead me to feel somewhat passive-aggressive but I have been trying to fight against that inclination...

Otherwise, I am a generally happy and supposedly "overly-optimistic" individual.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. Try to validate yourself more. Also, it sounds like a large part of your stems from you caring what others think of you too much. Try not to get inside their heads so much, try to focus more and how YOU think and feel. You are probably justified in your soreness with them if they are treating you inappropriately. Are you setting your boundaries? Opt to leave your mates presence when he is in a bad mood. Don't set yourself up to deal with his cranky behavior.

I run mad distances to deal with my stress. Also, hot yoga works wonders. But the endorphins from running last about 24 hours. Running makes me sane. Plus, I also go to therapy to help me keep perspective during stressful times. Right now is a really stressful time and I want to remain productive and true to my nature.

I also keep in mind that my goals are my anchors during times of crisis. This is also why things like marathoning are helpful.

I wish you well. Namaste

[ApolloNoUta]

@Kaycee- With each post, there seem to be more and more similarities. I used to suffer from insomnia (in connection to the Ambien comment, too).

@pinkrasputin- Well the thing is that I don't see him during the week (work and transportation issues, so it's limited to the weekend with the exception of special events like concerts, or other such things), so I like to text him a little bit at least once a day just to check up. I can handle when friends get mad at me, even though it's not pleasant, but it is very hard, in comparison, to deal with my S.O. being in a bad mood. Luckily it seemed like he realized he was being a little short and that I was trying to cheer him up and made up for it in his own little way. Even if he didn't notice, by the time I'd gone to bed and woken up, I'd probably feel better anyways. It's just one of those nagging "in the moment" feelings that are too hard and frustrating to ignore.

You do bring up a good point though. The "caring what other people think" thing has always been sort of a weak point of mine, although I've improved a little. I've gotten to a point where I only care what people extremely close to me think, when it comes down to it. The idea of keeping moving is a good idea. I feel a little trapped at my house though, and there's nowhere really to go unless I take a bus. Luckily my Mom got Zumba recently though, so will probably start that. Thank you for the advice, and I wish you well too!

[Tunda]

Hmm. Stress makes me crazy! I used to internalize my stress to the point of my body having to have a physical reaction to get it out. Odd rashes, swollen fingers, stomach aches, etc. I also sleep when I'm stressed and let my subconscious work it out. It usually does a better job at it than my consciousness.

I also suffer from insomnia, or at least my body wants to be awake at night and sleep in the morning. I don't really think of it as insomnia but since the rest of my world is on a day schedule... everyone else does. I hate that.

My latest response to stress: migraines. Yuck. But I am getting proactive with swimming and I'm looking into massage therapy. Sounds like a plan!

Laughter is still the best stress buster and if I can find some good laughs during the day then all is much righter with the world.