especially concerning people you really like.
i just wanna know because this is one of the issues i've had with my life. with everyone i've gone out with, or got "together" with, it's just sorta happened naturally. i'd meet them, we'd be friends who secretly knew we fancied each other and we'd go "for a walk" or get cosy one time, and guided by my intuition it felt like it was always going to happen from the first moment i met the person. as long as everything feels natural, it goes perfectly.
the problem i have is when i really like someone but i don't know them that well. you know the scene, it's that girl in class that you use some excuses to chat with, or some girl you met at a martial arts club where no one really socialises with each other outside it, or godforbid your friend's sister. obviously in this situation you have to go through the whole awkwardness of asking her out, and going to a formal date.. I - HATE - IT. i can't stand it, it feels so set and rigid. it's like you do this, do this, do this, go for the snog. and unless the girl is a very natural easygoing person it does put pressure on me to be a certain amount of charming to ease things up. basically it makes me feel a little fake, and when i feel fake i don't act like my natural self. ideally i'd like to ask someone as a friend, but then you have to say "as a friend" and then the girl gets the message that you want to be friends only.
i usually pass those girls up these days because i already know it's not going to end well, i just can't bring myself to put myself through the whole process, and also when im not acting naturally guided by my intuition it feels like i have to check the fricking dating manual to know what step is next. of course this means that im missing out on half the girls my intuition tells me i would probably normally be a fit for.
this is largely for the guys but the girls can answer too if they relate. have you guys been able to incorporate your natural selves into formal dating? how well does it work out for you? what were you like at my age (18)? whatever else you think is relevant.
i just wanna iron this out for myself, and it'd really help to get your experiences.