ENFPs and disapproval

**Nova** · 03-01-2010, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chaseut

Well, think about it this way. Would you rather face disapproval for being fun and exciting or for being serious and depressing?

Well I tend to face (subtle) disapproval of both my serious and 'whacky' side. Both of those sides to my personality aren't really congruent with normative, a typical society, so it's not surprising.

Luckily I don't give a shit :D

WNF · 03-01-2010, 08:56 PM

I cannot get along with those who don't understand the concept of FACETIOUSNESS. I'm an ENFP. I happen to have a sense of humour. excuse me.

**Nyx** · 03-01-2010, 11:55 PM

I hate when people think because I'm not a perfectionist that I'm not going anywhere or because I don't have a set way of getting to where I want to that I'm not gonna get tehre...that's not how ENFP's work people!

Moby · 03-02-2010, 01:56 AM

I don't mind when people disapprove of what I do, but it really hurts when they disapprove of ME. See, I try to be authentic at all times so when someone insults what I do it's usually a stab at my very soul. My dad and a former ISFJ (I know, dammit, I know...opposites attract sometimes) flame of mine are the most recent culprits.

Thankfully, I'm an ENFP that lucked out and has found healthy environments and large groups of supportive people, so for every naysayer there are 20 people that care about me to step in and either defend me or else just tell me I'm still kickass.

KateAusten · 03-02-2010, 10:36 AM

Yes! Especially with my family (a very NTJ environment), and other conservative, realistic types. It's like all the things I like about myself -- adventurousness, optimism, determination that I can and will get what I want out of life -- are just immaturity and escapism to other people.

My peers tend to like me, especially other NFs and SPs. I don't think it's jealousy. It's mostly my family and other conservative types that have a problem with me. I think it's because they don't understand me enough to get that I'm doing what makes me happy, they think I'm being self destructive because someone has to need stability and prestige to be happy, and the way I choose to live messes that up. I try to be understanding of them and their reasons for how they feel about me but it still hurts my feelings, and it makes it incredibly draining to be around people like that.

When I moved across the country from home and came out of my shell more, it was like a huge pleasant surprise. People actually like me, they actually like the way I am and think my personality traits are a good thing. It sounds sort of sad as I type it out but it was actually sort of a revelation when I discovered that there were people who didn't think my personality was a dangerous problem and that I could surround myself with them and actually feel happy and un-self-conscious and not have to be fake.

Efraim · 03-02-2010, 11:20 AM

Some people find my annoying, some people dislikes me for being a dreamer. And there are some who hate me for my inability to find out who I am and my randomness.

missred · 03-02-2010, 12:53 PM

i used to get a lot of flack for my randomness... i think ive toned it down a bit.

on the opposite spectrum i am highly prone to bouts of disapproval against on of my more than normal number of enfp friends. every now and then theres an enfp who actually is not so bright even if she claims otherwise and overly social to the point of no self control. (id often wondered if she was esfp but she really isnt). I too will try and keep myself between her and my boyfriend at all times because while she doesnt mean anything by her advances and open display of sexuality, it means a lot to some of our int counterparts. i think i simply see her as a threat sometimes but what really gets me is when she acts like a COMPLETE idiot and still gives me reason to be insecure around her.
it probably wouldnt have bothered me so much if she'd just keep her legs closed... or if she didnt expect her other friends to be there to deal with the fallout :(
i would say immature enfps are what make most women dislike us on a first glance basis.

Aster · 03-03-2010, 02:27 PM

I get disapproval from both directions, when I am fun and exciting and when I am serious, even if I am not being depressing.

Stryker · 03-07-2010, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by queenofleaves

People seem to think my being silly and random is stupid or retarded...I'm not stupid or retarded...it's just misunderstanding mostly

I feel ya. Some people (I'd say that they are ignorant people) think my being silly and random is insane... but it is just a misunderstanding of my personality.

The Nymph · 03-07-2010, 10:10 AM

I've had that feeling.
That someone just didn't like me because I was me.
Sadly, when this happens, I have a bad tendency to strive and strive until I gain their approval.
Usually I'll meet someone along the way of trying to gain their approval who assures me that I don't have anyone I need to change for.