[pinkrasputin]

I think we really rock the house when it comes our values. I am becoming increasingly delighted how ENFPs stay "true to themselves". I think a lot of our spirit and determination comes from our steadfastness at adhering to our values. I also think this makes us quite feisty "people people" as well.

I am noticing lately that this is not something everyone possesses. I have heard it's something pretty strong in NFPs. But I can't believe how often people will just "sell out" and go against themselves all the time. It blows my mind! I will think in my head, "Don't they have any standards?"

Here are 2 examples of some of my core values:

Find what I love doing and then figure out a way to make some money off of it. This is never up for negotiation. No one can pressure me into something else because of "pay". If this value comes up for review, it is only because I have decided to review it.l

It's never okay for someone to abuse power. I can understand we've all been hurt. We have all been abused. But it is never an excuse to abuse another person period.

I am funny how I am with my values. I can be at a party and get along with anyone anywhere. I am a pretty outgoing easy to get along with person. So I can see it might catch a person off guard when they hit on a value of mine and then I express it. They usually are surprised at my steadfastness and resilience to explain my reasoning. It's like I'm sure they didn't see that coming.

Anyway. I am just trying to say I think we ENFPs are so cool. We can be very grounded in our values and I think that is a good thing.

I am wondering what are some of your values? I only gave two examples but I have many. I am not trying to find the difference in big values like faith, but perhaps values which might be a little unique and you hold to it with all that you are.

[Moby]

I absolutely agree with your second value, Rasputin. I agree with the first one too but I'm wondering if I consider "doing what you love for money" a value or just plain good wisdom.

Here are a couple of my other values:

1.) Honesty at all costs

I value being honest, even brutally honest, and I always hope others will treat me the same.

2.) "Now leave me alone!!"-Dr.Manhatten from "Watchmen"

What I mean as the value for that one is I want, err...I DEMAND that you leave me alone to pursue my goals and beliefs in life. I cannot tell you how aggravating it is for me when people critize me for how I am or what I believe when (and this is important) it breaks NO legal or generally accepted ethical grounds. Let me give a few examples.

-People have criticized me for being a dreamer

-People have criticized me for drinking. I'm totally responsible with it, but I have an alcoholic uncle on each side of the family and the rest of my family gets irrationally worried that if I touch the 'demon juice' I'll magically wake up an alcoholic too one day like my uncles. As if it's 100% genetic and had nothing to do with personal choice. Blah, I hate when people take personal responsibility out of these situations.

-People criticize me for not planning or being disorganized. Hey it's my desk, it's my stuff, it's my car I can't help it I'm ENFP!

3.) Make your bed, sleep in it honey.

I also really believe that people are responsible for their choices in a romantic partner. I know a lot of guys who have dated a really slutty woman, then seem to "wake up" and wonder why she still sleeps around. Likewise I know a lot of women in abusive or neglectful relationships with men, but often I've seen these signs and I know they have too. The whole "I can't help it...I love him/her" excuse to take whatever abuse is your responsibility, and you have to suffer the consequences if you refuse to get that person out of your life.

[truevitality]

This is tough because I'm always changing my values with new experiences and new understandings.

Um...
Racial Equality, Diversity, and the Minimization of Stereotypes. Race is just a man-made concept anyways. And my favorite thing in the world is to see diversity and everyone mixing it up! I LOVE that more than anything in the world! I feel like that's what God wanted! And I think stereotypes are a way to justify laziness and maintain ignorance. Blech! throw.it.out!

Quality over Quantity Relationships- I just can't be with someone for the simple fact that they're cute. I always hear that little voice that asks," What can cute do for you?" And casual sex? Not even! Don't even get my started.

Honesty- I'm working on that more and more everyday. My goal is to become 100% transparent! I have no secrets about myself anymore and I like that. And I don't lie. I just don't. People are often shocked by how blunt I am. But I feel so horrible when I lie that's it just better to tell the truth and deal with the repercussions after. Really. Or else I'd chastise myself for a long long time! And I've been this way since childhood.

Those are the only ones that I've never been able to change. They work great for me.

[truevitality]

Oh! And Faithfulness!- I have 0 respect for cheaters. And I'd have 0 respect for myself if I did it too.

[pinkrasputin]

This is tough because I'm always changing my values with new experiences and new understandings.

Um...
Racial Equality, Diversity, and the Minimization of Stereotypes. Race is just a man-made concept anyways. And my favorite thing in the world is to see diversity and everyone mixing it up! I LOVE that more than anything in the world! I feel like that's what God wanted! And I think stereotypes are a way to justify laziness and maintain ignorance. Blech! throw.it.out!

Quality over Quantity Relationships- I just can't be with someone for the simple fact that they're cute. I always hear that little voice that asks," What can cute do for you?" And casual sex? Not even! Don't even get my started.

Honesty- I'm working on that more and more everyday. My goal is to become 100% transparent! I have no secrets about myself anymore and I like that. And I don't lie. I just don't. People are often shocked by how blunt I am. But I feel so horrible when I lie that's it just better to tell the truth and deal with the repercussions after. Really. Or else I'd chastise myself for a long long time! And I've been this way since childhood.

Those are the only ones that I've never been able to change. They work great for me.

Wow these are awesome and I agree with most of them. I don't know what I like more your values or the way you guys are expressing them. Such a commitment. Such a force. It's stunning.

Oh! And Faithfulness!- I have 0 respect for cheaters. And I'd have 0 respect for myself if I did it too.

Cheaters...grrrrr...... No tolerance what so ever. I am the same on that for sure!

[samyeaboy]

incredibly interesting thread

As truevitality said in her post "I'm always changing my values with new experiences and new understandings." the same is true for me

1) Have fun and look on the bright side no matter what.

I need to have fun, so others around me are happy and I'm giddy. When I'm giddy and happy in public I get less whiny and cane do schoolwork n stuff much more efficiently.

2) Dont be part of the system

Be different in any way you can. You listen to a band nobody knows get a T-shirt and be different. Somebody doesnt like a kid because he's weird, be different and sit by him at lunch. A teacher wants you to do something a certain way, be different mix it up. I pretty much strive to be different.

3) respect everyone who respects you (golden rule)



I have others but these are the most dominant.

[Shanty]

LOL ... there are a few things I've read so far that made me laugh and kind of shake my head at a bit. I have values but none of them are written in stone. People, places, situations, etc. ... they change, and so will my reaction / perspective on them.

The only value that I can say hasn't changed or faltered much is my avoidance of judgement of other people. My brain just doesn't automatically do it. I consider all angles and my OWN skeletons before I take the moral high-ground.

If someone has attacked me personally, of course that's different ... but to stand in any kind of superior position to anyone because I feel my way is better? More acceptable? Never. I may laugh, but at the end of the day it doesn't affect my life or my general mood if someone does something I WOULDN'T necessarily do. To be honest, I just don't care. Life is too short and I have my own crap to deal with in life.

[Love Obsessed]

I think we really rock the house when it comes our values. I am becoming increasingly delighted how ENFPs stay "true to themselves". I think a lot of our spirit and determination comes from our steadfastness at adhering to our values. I also think this makes us quite feisty "people people" as well.

I am noticing lately that this is not something everyone possesses. I have heard it's something pretty strong in NFPs. But I can't believe how often people will just "sell out" and go against themselves all the time. It blows my mind! I will think in my head, "Don't they have any standards?"

Here are 2 examples of some of my core values:

Find what I love doing and then figure out a way to make some money off of it. This is never up for negotiation. No one can pressure me into something else because of "pay". If this value comes up for review, it is only because I have decided to review it.l

It's never okay for someone to abuse power. I can understand we've all been hurt. We have all been abused. But it is never an excuse to abuse another person period.

I am funny how I am with my values. I can be at a party and get along with anyone anywhere. I am a pretty outgoing easy to get along with person. So I can see it might catch a person off guard when they hit on a value of mine and then I express it. They usually are surprised at my steadfastness and resilience to explain my reasoning. It's like I'm sure they didn't see that coming.

Anyway. I am just trying to say I think we ENFPs are so cool. We can be very grounded in our values and I think that is a good thing.

I am wondering what are some of your values? I only gave two examples but I have many. I am not trying to find the difference in big values like faith, but perhaps values which might be a little unique and you hold to it with all that you are.

I agree with everything you said.
I have a third value,
TRY NEVER TO COMPROMISE MY FAITH, AS A CHRISTIAN

[Love Obsessed]

i absolutely agree with your second value, rasputin. I agree with the first one too but i'm wondering if i consider "doing what you love for money" a value or just plain good wisdom.

Here are a couple of my other values:

1.) honesty at all costs

i value being honest, even brutally honest, and i always hope others will treat me the same.

2.) "now leave me alone!!"-dr.manhatten from "watchmen"

what i mean as the value for that one is i want, err...i demand that you leave me alone to pursue my goals and beliefs in life. I cannot tell you how aggravating it is for me when people critize me for how i am or what i believe when (and this is important) it breaks no legal or generally accepted ethical grounds. Let me give a few examples.

-people have criticized me for being a dreamer

-people have criticized me for drinking. I'm totally responsible with it, but i have an alcoholic uncle on each side of the family and the rest of my family gets irrationally worried that if i touch the 'demon juice' i'll magically wake up an alcoholic too one day like my uncles. As if it's 100% genetic and had nothing to do with personal choice. Blah, i hate when people take personal responsibility out of these situations.

-people criticize me for not planning or being disorganized. Hey it's my desk, it's my stuff, it's my car i can't help it i'm enfp!

3.) make your bed, sleep in it honey.

I also really believe that people are responsible for their choices in a romantic partner. I know a lot of guys who have dated a really slutty woman, then seem to "wake up" and wonder why she still sleeps around. Likewise i know a lot of women in abusive or neglectful relationships with men, but often i've seen these signs and i know they have too. The whole "i can't help it...i love him/her" excuse to take whatever abuse is your responsibility, and you have to suffer the consequences if you refuse to get that person out of your life.

i agree with your value except 2 and 3

[Love Obsessed]

this is tough because i'm always changing my values with new experiences and new understandings.

Um...
racial equality, diversity, and the minimization of stereotypes. Race is just a man-made concept anyways. And my favorite thing in the world is to see diversity and everyone mixing it up! I love that more than anything in the world! I feel like that's what god wanted! And i think stereotypes are a way to justify laziness and maintain ignorance. Blech! Throw.it.out!

quality over quantity relationships- i just can't be with someone for the simple fact that they're cute. I always hear that little voice that asks," what can cute do for you?" and casual sex? Not even! Don't even get my started.

honesty- i'm working on that more and more everyday. My goal is to become 100% transparent! I have no secrets about myself anymore and i like that. And i don't lie. I just don't. People are often shocked by how blunt i am. But i feel so horrible when i lie that's it just better to tell the truth and deal with the repercussions after. Really. Or else i'd chastise myself for a long long time! And i've been this way since childhood.

Those are the only ones that i've never been able to change. They work great for me.

i can get on board with your values