[KuttyTristan]

Hello everyone I am Kutty new to the forum, and excited to have an outlet for myself, I am so frustrated these days, I feel so left out even though I have my hands in about everything possible! and it's still not enough! I have so much ENEGRY for a MACHO ENFP male, I love life and learning so much that it almost makes people sick, My own Mother and Father don't understand me 95% of the time. Nobody except my best freind who is also ENFP understands me. I wan't to know everything and do everything and see everything and know everybody, I want to be the smartest man alive, the Most in shape man alive, the richest man alive the most full filled man alive! and yet I have no idea of obtaining such a life style, even harder for me is finding a good girl freind, Hasnt been done so far! I live in a economic depressed rural area in North Eastern PA. Nothing is expanding there are no jobs there is no movement, I hate!!! when there is no movement, NOBODY understands why I am always chaning my mind about something, I AM SO IDEALISTIC. I can INSPIRE the heck outta people in Speeches I give, but at the same time I can't seem to inspire myself!? right now I have no Direction. I am so against college and it's High Cost, I am a firm Believer in SELF EDUCATION! But I have no Idea what to do with myself haha. I just can't pick anything that holds my interest long enough to go through school for it. I never did well in High School I was So against Formal Education my Whole life, it never taught me anything. I really dislike teachers that believe in the education system in america, it's pure crap, seems to me my energy is a negative one, my passion is hating on things, I am so good at down talking everything, and yet never found anything to talk ultra positive about. Nothing and I mean nothing lives up to my expectations. Girl freinds come and go because of there lack of imagaination, I havent been able to find and ENFP girl freind yet. And the careers that ENFP's are suppose to do are just sooooo not practical. EVEN harder yet is that I am a agressive ENFP male, I love competition but I dont like to fight and bicker, I am so strange haha. But I would like some ENFP's Inputs how they deal with being them..

[Moby]

It's pretty easy being me. I'm treated by a local celebrity and this weird power I get entering a party makes new people feel nervous around me. Being intuitive I can tell, and I feel very confidant and can engage them as so. I'm also lucky as follow one's N.e. leads you to many great places as an ENFP. Or at least it does for me.

I actually don't share some of what you wrote. You mentioned you are competitive, I am not at all. I don't want/need to be rich, or in shape, and I've learned to live with and enjoy my randomness.

I do have some problems being ENFP:

1.) People generally only want to know my extroverted personality and don't like my introverted side.
2.) Women only want a short term relationship (sex). They want the fantasy, not the reality. What I want is more REAL, and deep relationships.
3.) Other personalities get creeped out by my public acceptance of a dual personality.
4.) I suck at math or anything rules-based.
5.) ...There really isn't a "5". Being ENFP pretty much means you win the life-lottery otherwise.

[KuttyTristan]

Haha Moby thanks for your input, Yeah I suck at math as well, I am pretty sure im not 100% ENFP I have qualities of other types. My P is turning to a J as I get older and my N is about 55% with an S, So I guess what I am saying is my personality is complicated haha. But yeah ENFP's are pretty great. Yeah my Best Friend who is an ENFP has no desire to work out or be in shape. Which is wierd because to me that's so important. Also I am interested in the Military and police work as where other ENFP's are Not. I think what I am finding out is people's personalities change over time. Because more and more I am starting to like Structure in my liife. And more and more I am starting to want security and stability. Also I love Sports! it seems to me many ENFP's are not? so what I am realizing is maybe I am not so much ENFP as I always thought I was. I can entertain and inspire people, and people love to be around me, and I am obnoxious and goofy and well spoken and can give amazing speeches. But I am not really into acting, or artsy things, I can act and be funny but have no desire to do it for a living. Also seems to me like ENFP's are not aggressive like me, once again my ENFP friend not like that, he would get angry but never act on his anger, as where I could yell punch and kick, especially playing soccer, someone got in my face I would get right back. so who know's just gotta figure myself out.

[WMDistraction]

It's pretty easy being me. I'm treated by a local celebrity and this weird power I get entering a party makes new people feel nervous around me. Being intuitive I can tell, and I feel very confidant and can engage them as so. I'm also lucky as follow one's N.e. leads you to many great places as an ENFP. Or at least it does for me.

I actually don't share some of what you wrote. You mentioned you are competitive, I am not at all. I don't want/need to be rich, or in shape, and I've learned to live with and enjoy my randomness.

I do have some problems being ENFP:

1.) People generally only want to know my extroverted personality and don't like my introverted side.
2.) Women only want a short term relationship (sex). They want the fantasy, not the reality. What I want is more REAL, and deep relationships.
3.) Other personalities get creeped out by my public acceptance of a dual personality.
4.) I suck at math or anything rules-based.
5.) ...There really isn't a "5". Being ENFP pretty much means you win the life-lottery otherwise.

I'm pretty good at math, but I know what you mean when there are defined "rules" that can't really be arrived at from general concepts.

My papers are almost always marked with, "You nearly reached a contradiction here." I don't argue the point because it's true, but I do this so much just because I see everything that could be different. Being as unbiased as possible is bad when you're trying to present one side of an argument. :(

I also know what you mean about people only wanting to know the extroverted part of me. There are only a couple of people I can really talk to about me and feel comfortable. Other people just like the zany, crazy part of me because it's entertaining and fun.

[spring]

Wow, that is one really long paragraph.

I think I can at least somewhat relate to you, KuttyTristan, even if I'm not nearly as extroverted as you are. I also really love peace and tranquility, and yet at the same time can be extremely competitive and can argue up a logical storm. The contradiction used to drive me nuts.

I aspire to become a lot of things through time as well, but I don't necessarily want to be "the best" in everything. I think that's a little unreasonable. ...You know, the more I think about this, the more I think this question might be related to your enneagram type more so than personality type, but that's just a hunch.

I think in your situation, I would ask--is there a better place for you to move and would that be feasible sometime down the road? Typically as an ENFP, we're strongly affected by our environment, so that's important.

The second thing would probably be, are all your aspirations reasonable? What steps can you take to bring your dream as close to reality as possible? Like for instance, even if you abhor the education system, would entering that be necessary to get where you want to be?

[Lilsnowy]

kuttyT, I'm in my 40s and at this point after years of moving with my husband's career and starting jobs over with each move, I'm at a crossroads. I want to achieve my writer's dream, but that doesn't pay yet so I have to find something practical to do to earn money. I started college-- twice-- and I love the interaction with other students and all the ideas presented! You might too if you take a class in something you like. I haven't finished and it's hurting my options right now. I may go back again. I have a child going to college in the fall.

Consider this: "Dreaming of options doesn't give us freedom; hard work toward achieving our goals gives us true freedom." Otherwise we're spinning our wheels, feel like failures and have lower self esteem.

I fear math or being 'stuck' doing anything too tedius or routine. I need to move! Physically need to move and challenge myself! I have to stay in shape! I bike 20 miles a day in summer and fall, but with winter here in the midwest, I don't get out like I do normally; I've gained weight and feel bad and it causes a downward spiral! I have to look ahead to stay bouyant. But constantly thinking of all the things I want to do or want to be isn't helping me become anything. If I want the freedom to travel in the future, I will need to work in the present, taking care of necessities now and learning what I need to learn, toward earning enough money to have the FREEDOM to do what I want later.

So the tough love is this: Stop complaining about everything and get to work. We ENFPs know we're special. And we're idealistic to a fault, but don't use your incredible specialness as an excuse to be lazy, to wait for some magical opportunity to fall from the sky and reward you for being so special. I can do this too at times, so I'm not just talking to you. You can use your ENFP (or ENFJ) smarts to make a plan and get out there. Look to a wiser friend to help you if you have trouble with goal setting. But Get to work. Find something you like, and then learn all about it. You 've heard the phrase, 'sour grapes?' Talking down everything that can help you succeed, when you unable to accomplish anything, is similar to 'sour grapes.'. Plus, as much as you abhor education, ENFPs are often natural teachers. Maybe not in math class, but you probably have that ability yourself. Get to work ENFP.

[KuttyTristan]

haha! thanks to all of you, I am getting there trust me, and my enviroment does suck! I hate my enviroment. But the fact is I can't do anything about it at this point. I am actually thinking about being a teacher I might be able to help change the system, you can't win the game if your not in it right? I have been just so pissed at life because I have nobody around me who understands my situation, everybody thinks I have ADD. At this point im just going to go back to college.

[KuttyTristan]

Ohh and yes I am a type 7 myself, just raised by a Tough father making me complicated in the fact that I am super idealistic and creative but yet tough minded and practical at when im around people like my father.

[WMDistraction]

Ohh and yes I am a type 7 myself, just raised by a Tough father making me complicated in the fact that I am super idealistic and creative but yet tough minded and practical at when im around people like my father.

I'm the same way, except my mother was the tough minded one. I can get extremely practical when the situation calls for it.

[Deja Vu]

1.) People generally only want to know my extroverted personality and don't like my introverted side.
2.) Women only want a short term relationship (sex). They want the fantasy, not the reality. What I want is more REAL, and deep relationships.

Isn't it the pits? :( haha.