[Alyosha]

Yo.



I'm trying to figure out if unreasonable expectations during childhood is what makes an INFP here. Some ENFP data for comparison would be useful.

Please vote above.

Thank you!

[Etherea]

Very much so. My mom has even told me that at one point she wanted me to be perfect and tried to make me so.

[La Petite Sirène]

I picked "no" purely because the 'expectations' put on me were never intentionally put on me. I experienced them as a result of something my mother was going through, and they forced me to grow up pretty quickly and take on the parental role rather than the role of the child. There was never any expectation that I should behave that way, it just naturally happened as a result of the circumstances and a need to keep my head above water.

[Linnifae]

I voted "no" but I was thinking strictly in terms of academics. I was in other ways, but not the typical ways one thinks of when they think of "pressure." Dealing with my extremely reclusive mentally ill mom in a way that would not upset her was a form of pressure I had however, and that was stressful. So I guess I wish I had voted yes.

[saffron]

I voted no as well, but I was a latch key kid (only child) and basically on my own before and after school from age 5 so I guess you could see that as unreasonable. I don't wish that it had been different though. It made me very self sufficient and adaptable and I like it that way.

[BooksandButterflies]

Yes! My father, an ExTJ wanted me to be a perfect "mini adult" And I grew up in a super strict church.So yeah....

[Coffee Soap]

No. I've grown up with a lot of expectations, and I still have those, but I don't think they're unreasonable enough to pick 'yes'. Reasonable, yes, but still difficult to deal with.

[StellarTwirl]

Not at all. Others were extremely easy on me. Any expectations I had for myself were more unreasonable than the ones anyone else had for me.

My childhood was difficult, but for reasons completely unrelated to this.

[Mary Jane]

I voted yes. I think my parents tried to do their best, but they could (can) be very unreasonable too.

They've told me more than a million times to be 'normal'. I really didn't know how to be normal... still don't! They expected me to be extremely rational since I was a toddler, strong, unaffected by anything and basically without emotions, because emotions scare them.

In my eyes, their definition of normal actually means 'unvisible'. I couldn't be too smart (because that's attention seeking) or too dumb (because that's annoying), not without friends (because then you're a weirdo) but not influenced by other kids either (because then you are weak), I shouldn't be too quiet (unpolite) or too loud (unpolite too)... And no.. I can't be invisible...

[Finaille]

I voted no myself. I had a difficult childhood, but to have the expectation that parents will always be perfectly reasonable is maybe a little out of touch. I was loved, maybe yelled at too much, but most of the stuff that was really challenging was out of my control. Ultimately though, I worked through it and continue to do so. Giving up on oneself, at least IMO, is not an INFP thing.

I'm actually more curious about your study. I only briefly glanced at your other page, but I don't think being an INFP is a bad thing nor is caused by negative childhood events. Some people are naturally... not related to parents turning one inward or different. Maybe the INFP has a tendency to magnify those type of events more than the ENFP? I think having the global perspective of Ne first allows me to adjust my own perspective on life and create healthy changes instead of wallowing in a Fi-meltdown (though, those occur too). I could see where the INFP may struggle more to overcome challenging situations than the ENFP. But from experience, I also know that the INFP can be much more laid back and true to self than the ENFP.