Flirting

**Pointless Activist** · 07-16-2012 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by pinkrasputin

By any chance are you a 2 fix?

I have both 2 and 9 in my fix and I have to work hard at not being drained by situations like this. Important to understand, you really don't have to drain yourself by helping others. You don't even need to help them at all. However, I can really relate to getting caught in the middle of other people's conflicts and working hard at being the mediator/negotiator who gives perspective about the other party so that a bridge can be created. It really sucks when you are close to both people. But I had to really learn to create boundaries and not let other people's drama consume me, even if we are all close friends.

Other people's stuff isn't a reason to not to take care of your own needs. In fact when I'm taking care of my own needs and am in a healthy relationship, other people's drama doesn't get to me nearly as much and rarely do I get caught in the middle of such drama.

Sorry that went down though between your friends. Conflict situations where you really want the best for everyone can really suck the life out of me. Just remember, both sides can use you without them being consciously aware of it. You be the smart one.

I do not have a 2 in mine, no. My 9 is really expressed, though. I've heard that having a strong 9 can cause you to do a lot of the same things as a 2, if it brings peace. And thanks for the advice.

**pinkrasputin** · 07-16-2012 10:50 PM

Originally Posted by Solar Storm

I do not have a 2 in mine, no. My 9 is really expressed, though. I've heard that having a strong 9 can cause you to do a lot of the same things as a 2, if it brings peace. And thanks for the advice.

I "let go" too for the sake of other people's happiness. It's not hard for me. Thank you for helping me to see that this might be due to my 9 fix.

I would never fight someone over a relationship/guy. I would first let go. That's my way.

**Ningsta Kitty** · 07-20-2012 09:40 AM

Originally Posted by Solar Storm

It's hard keeping everyone happy, you know?

Have you considered that ... considering that this is impossible, as people will inevitably disappoint you, that you are doing more damage than good to yourself AND others. Consider that by disappointing your friends and vice versa, enables you to learn and grow as people. Otherwise you are in a prison of passivity afraid to upset anyone nor feel your own pain. Your left with shallow pseudo relationships. Just a thought. Sorry if this sounds crazy, harsh, rude or anything. I'm trying to learn how to balance that part of my personality :/ Just that you seem like a really awesome guy. And it makes me sad to think you'll go through tumultuously emotionally confusing relationships in the future to realize the epidemic of passivity that permeates our society. It's a spectrum. To what degree is what you need to be wary of. Did this make sense? :/

**La Petite Sirène** · 07-24-2012 10:05 PM

I've caught myself flirting a bunch of times when I haven't meant to flirt at all. This usually happens at work. I'm just very friendly toward my customers, and I usually catch on to the flirty vibe when I am serving a couple and the female of the couple starts giving me death glares. I've become really conscious about maintaining eye contact with women when I am serving a couple, so that they don't feel threatened by how friendly I am (or, what they perceive to be, me flirting with their partners). I've even found myself flirting with some of my female customers (although, to be honest, when I hear an Irish accent - and I do quite frequently in my job - I don't care who it is, I'll flirt).

This is funny to me because when I actually like someone, I do the exact opposite of flirt. I either ignore the absolute shit out of them, or do my best to show them how uninterested I am in them by withdrawing socially. If only I could figure out how to switch these mechanisms around so that they actually worked in my favour...

**QueenVivi** · 07-24-2012 10:07 PM

I love flirting with the boys ;) but it can be kind of hard when they take it as a sign of wanting a relationship.

**Mattylad** · 07-25-2012 09:21 AM

Look at you lot with your extraversion, flirty personalities and "confidence". Pfft, I laugh at that. I have my shyness, and, yknow... *hides in embarrasment*

**zethry** · 07-25-2012 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by Solar Storm

Just wondering, do you find yourself just to be friendly, but other people think you are shamelessly flirting with anyone and everyone you know(regardless of gender)? I get that a lot. I didn't realize this until recently, because I was talking to a friend, and an acquaintance pulled me aside and said, "Dude, you gotta stop flirting with everyone." I was utterly confused until he explained to me what I was doing. Apparently I'm an incredibly flirtatious person without even knowing it.

Anyone else have a similar experience to mine? And might that contribute to why ENFPs are generally liked?

Me, TOO! I don't realize I'm flirting! I think I'm just being friendly and teasing! (and just affectionate in general) So...what's the difference between being flirty and just being friendly and teasing then?

**zethry** · 07-25-2012 10:14 AM

Originally Posted by Mattylad

Look at you lot with your extraversion, flirty personalities and "confidence". Pfft, I laugh at that. I have my shyness, and, yknow... *hides in embarrasment*

I dunno...I don't flirt on purpose. When I think about doing it on purpose I'm all awkward and shy and embarrassed!