Are ENFPs more likely to judge or sympathize?

**Poptart** · 07-13-2012 03:36 AM

Is an ENFP more likely to judge negatively or to sympathize with a person who perhaps does something stupid or is in an unfortunate position? I want to know just because I'm afraid of my ENFP friend's reaction when I tell him I made a huge life-changing error. I can't get any more specific than that, but hopefully you can understand what's being asked...

EDIT: My issue is resolved but you can still comment on the topic if you want.

**Noumenon** · 07-13-2012 03:49 AM

Sympathize if you seem fully cognizant of your error and you want to take action to right it. Then I wont leave your side.

**Swordsman of Mana** · 07-13-2012 03:51 AM

Originally Posted by Poptart

Is an ENFP more likely to judge negatively or to sympathize with a person who perhaps does something stupid or is in an unfortunate position? I want to know just because I'm afraid of my ENFP friend's reaction when I tell him I made a huge life-changing error. I can't get any more specific than that, but hopefully you can understand what's being asked...

you're tell him you messed up. an ENFP isn't going to lecture you for telling them about a mistake you made. that's more of a J thing.

**Elizindrhythm** · 07-13-2012 04:01 AM

To me, a lot of my reaction comes from 3 key things: did your 'mistake' violate a key value, what is your emotional state when you tell me, and have we been down this road before.

The biggest thing is if you've violated one of my personal values. If you've gotten a speeding ticket, no problem. If you've yelled at your boss and gotten fired and we are gonna have problems with money, I'll deal. You blew a gasket and tore someone to shreds and made them cry? Houston, we got problems.

Next, your real and true attitude when you tell me is important. If you are sad, scared or regretful, I will want to comfort you. If you are angry or anxious, I will want to soothe you and return to the conversation later. If you are proud or defensive, I'll see red. And remember, I have a really good BS detector. You may never see it because I don't always act on it, but I'll know in my gut you are lying.

And each time we face this situation, I'm going to swallow down a bit of anger and irritation. So, if we have this discussion once or twice, we're cool. Ten times and I'm gonna get sarcastic and testy. At some point that is mysterious to me as well, I will go thermonuclear and lay waste to the relationship.

I hope this helps...

**TheWildOne** · 07-13-2012 08:41 AM

Exactly what @Elizindrhythm said.

**Bumblyjack** · 07-13-2012 12:03 PM

Neither, I empathize. I want to know the facts as well as your opinions and reaction to the situation. That way I can piece together what you were going through and what your perspective was. In other words, I want to see what it was like in your shoes. I don't want to pass judgment or give a blanket statement of sympathy, I want to understand. When I understand, the vast majority of the time I'm sympathetic and supportive.

**Poptart** · 07-13-2012 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by Bumblyjack

Neither, I empathize. I want to know the facts as well as your opinions and reaction to the situation. That way I can piece together what you were going through and what your perspective was. In other words, I want to see what it was like in your shoes. I don't want to pass judgment or give a blanket statement of sympathy, I want to understand. When I understand, the vast majority of the time I'm sympathetic and supportive.

That is exactly what I feel coming from my friend along with what @Elizindrhythm said. Cool. He just asked a bunch of questions and was more concerned with understanding my situation/perspective and helping than on making judgements.
ENFPs kick ass. lol.

**Pointless Activist** · 07-13-2012 02:37 PM

-Ignore this, sorry-

**pinkrasputin** · 07-13-2012 03:01 PM

If you tell me you've messed up or made a mistake and feel bad (believe me I can pick up you feeling bad), I'm going to lift you up and make you feel better about it. I don't believe in mistakes. I will let you know that this was just a "speed bump." I'll probably offer you a story where I've done something similar.

If I've warned you to not got in that direction before and you went that direction anyway and you realize it now it's the wrong way, that's good enough for me. Now we are finally on the same page and I will understand that you just had to do it and find out for yourself. If you did something that you think is the worse thing in the world and you need my help PLEASE come to me. I will help you not feel bad about yourself and I will help you in anyway I can to fix whatever is the problem.

I don't like anyone defining themselves according to their mistakes or set backs. I don't believe people function best that way.

I'd hate to think any friend of mine couldn't "bleed" in front of me. But my friends actually come to me and open up their most private, dark secrets. I put them back together again. I do not kick a dog when it's already down. They will find acceptance.