I think I have posted on here before regarding my bf, but I suppose this is a bit more general than just him, so here goes.
(Background stuff you don’t need to read)
I have been with my ENFP boyfriend for almost a year. The whole of this time has been long distance, with us meeting almost once a month. Right from the beginning he was crazy about me, and moved a lot faster than I wanted to. Before we had even met he wanted to marry me and was sure I was the one. Despite my better judgement I got caught up in his fantasy and went along with it. I fell in love with him and that love has only gotten stronger.
However, ever since we met we have never really been happy. We constantly have misunderstandings over simple things, and i get upset and start crying or he gets angry at me. We then talk it out like grownups and make up but this hasn’t gotten any better over time. It’s not really gotten worse either but it it taking its toll on the relationship and I feel like we’re both just exhausted with it. Despite us talking openly about this problem however neither of us feel like we can give up on the relationship. Maybe he feels too guilty to dump me and I love him too much to break up with him. So we’re a bit stuck.
(Actual question)
Why do I have such trouble communicating with ENFPs? I thought that being so similar we would really understand where we are coming from. But sometimes things the one says really upset the other, and we are baffled as to how they got upset. I am 100% my typing is correct, we’ve both done the test and the types match us perfectly. Before I was with him I had a male ENFP best friend, who I loved very dearly. I made a mistake that hurt him and I was very sorry for, and after that he completely cut me out of his life. Leading up to that we had had a few misunderstandings where we each couldn’t tell if the other person was joking. I am very attracted to ENFPs and they seem to be to me too (although it’s so hard to tell because you guys tend to be interested in everyone) but I feel like I am developing a pattern where once we get close we just start to hurt each other. I recently met a younger ENFP guy who is really keen to be friends but I just can’t go through this again so I told him I didn’t want to see him, which really hurt to have to do because he seemed so nice. Do other INFPs and ENFPs have this problem? I really want to know what we are doing wrong and if it is possible to have a close relationship at all.
(Background stuff you don’t need to read)
I have been with my ENFP boyfriend for almost a year. The whole of this time has been long distance, with us meeting almost once a month. Right from the beginning he was crazy about me, and moved a lot faster than I wanted to. Before we had even met he wanted to marry me and was sure I was the one. Despite my better judgement I got caught up in his fantasy and went along with it. I fell in love with him and that love has only gotten stronger.
However, ever since we met we have never really been happy. We constantly have misunderstandings over simple things, and i get upset and start crying or he gets angry at me. We then talk it out like grownups and make up but this hasn’t gotten any better over time. It’s not really gotten worse either but it it taking its toll on the relationship and I feel like we’re both just exhausted with it. Despite us talking openly about this problem however neither of us feel like we can give up on the relationship. Maybe he feels too guilty to dump me and I love him too much to break up with him. So we’re a bit stuck.
(Actual question)
Why do I have such trouble communicating with ENFPs? I thought that being so similar we would really understand where we are coming from. But sometimes things the one says really upset the other, and we are baffled as to how they got upset. I am 100% my typing is correct, we’ve both done the test and the types match us perfectly. Before I was with him I had a male ENFP best friend, who I loved very dearly. I made a mistake that hurt him and I was very sorry for, and after that he completely cut me out of his life. Leading up to that we had had a few misunderstandings where we each couldn’t tell if the other person was joking. I am very attracted to ENFPs and they seem to be to me too (although it’s so hard to tell because you guys tend to be interested in everyone) but I feel like I am developing a pattern where once we get close we just start to hurt each other. I recently met a younger ENFP guy who is really keen to be friends but I just can’t go through this again so I told him I didn’t want to see him, which really hurt to have to do because he seemed so nice. Do other INFPs and ENFPs have this problem? I really want to know what we are doing wrong and if it is possible to have a close relationship at all.