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Crisis of Personality

[ENFP] 
629 views 10 replies 5 participants last post by  Librarian 
#1 · (Edited)
I'm not really all that sure how to begin something like this, but it's something that's been really bothering me lately. And well... Kind of more than lately.

I'm not entirely sure of myself anymore. And by that, I mean I don't know what kind of personality I really do have. So many internal feelings I have tell me that I am one thing, but then I start to question it -- more and more lately.

I've long identified as an ENFP, but lately I've become more introverted. I believe that's a combination between both the state of my mental health and also that I've placed a much stronger focus on creating things that inspire me both in music, writing and just concepts that I want to develop. Helping a friend with creating a videogame has also helped nurture my creativity. It's not finished yet, but It's something I'm very interested in, of which I have largely been responsible for the concept and story of it along with developing the music.

I've always scored incredibly highly as an Intuitive every time I've taken the MBTI. Last time, I scored a 91%. It was my highest preference of all the values. Sometimes, though I'm scared that I'm changing and becoming less of who I want to be. I guess I'm trying to say that I have very high standards for myself and I am worried about trending towards the Sensor spectrum. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a Sensor, it's not the person I think will grant me the most happiness or unlock potential I know I have.

That worries me.

But what also worries me is my Extroversion verses Introversion. I feel as though I've become more introverted and I'm okay with that if that's what it takes for me to be even more creative. What bothers me is that I'm not sure I fit the kind of image of an INFP (which is what that would make me by default) that probably most people think of. I don't really think very often about librairies or books. I guess it's just because I don't have the patience to read or motivation to read along with it being very difficult to find something that I resonate incredibly strongly with. I feel as though I would enjoy reading if I found something that I felt incredibly attracted to, but I also feel I'd grow restless knowing that I could be creating something instead. I guess I just don't know if I fit the standard INFP mould in some ways and that makes me question myself as well.

The things I treasure the most are few, but those few things I love, I love very intensely. It's both a blessing and a curse.

I don't know. This may even sound incredibly dumb or silly to be thinking about all of this, but it's been bothering me how I can't really nail this down or that seemingly I feel so much less sure about it than I used to. And it's been bothering me for a long time.

I also feel really, really odd having typed out all of this information about something deeper in my personality on a forum of people I don't even really know. It's just... really odd to me. I tend to be very private with these kinds of things -- particularly not posting them on a social forum.

With all of that said, is there any advice or insight you can give to any of this with what I've explained? I don't even know if I really explained anything appropriately enough for that. This all feels kind of unusual to me. I don't think I've ever gone out on such a limb like this on a forum. But I just felt as though I needed to ask. I needed to ask someone. It'd be very appreciated.
 
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#2 ·
There's a book called The ENFP Survival Guide by Heidi someone-or-other that goes into depth about what happens to ENFP's when we get all distorted and start functioning in ways that aren't right for us. I think if you read it, it would help to clarify for you where you're at, whether you truly are an ENFP who's just malfunctioning in this crazy, crazy world, or whether you really truly might have a different personality type.

Also, there is a lot more to a person than their Myer-Briggs types, lots of variations within the same core theme.
 
#3 ·
I found the book. I'll definitely look into it further. It does seem like it could help shed some light on a bit of what I've been thinking about. Thanks for the suggestion.
 
#4 ·
You're welcome.

How are you feeling about it all today?

The core of you will never change, even with a lot of work to use your Sensor better. If you're too young to want that now, you will by the time you're 30.

You may be just growing, and changing. I have noticed tremendous growth and change in myself. Values I held so staunchly, life has knocked and beaten out of me. It felt like a loss but in reality it was a balancing. I was stubbornly altruistic, the champion of the underdog, totally unable to judge, and many ppl took advantage of that. Eventually I caved and became more clear-sighted about people. That's a tiny example.

You growing, or moving in and out of periods of seclusion and creativity, will not ever alter who you are. I share your apparent abject fear of Sensing but it will make us more well rounded and able to interface with the muggles ;)
 
#5 · (Edited)
I'm actually feeling a fair bit more sure about things now. I think I just needed to approach how I looked at this in a different way and seek outside advice. I'm fairly sure that my core mannerisms are an ENFP, but still very much on the introverted side.

I have been starting to understand the benefit of developing my Sensor qualities better, especially when it comes to following through with physical tasks when I want to manifest what's in my head into the real world. I had just been worried that I was changing. It's one of my greatest fears, honestly -- to wake up one day and realize I'm not the person I want to be and then further realizing that I hadn't been that way for a long time would be even worse. I'd feel as though I'd wasted so much of my life and my potential along with my ability to influence others in the positive way that I have in the past.

A lot of what I used to hold dear and believe has largely been questioned over the years. I've gone through a lot of thoughts and a lot of revisions trying to reach the point where I not only understand myself, but the things around me.

In relation to what you said, though, the world does often change you. It can take away your kindness and replace it with caution. It's sad that it often has to be that way, but it's good that even still, you can adapt to the kind of world we live in. It would be so much worse if we could not adapt, but only be doomed to make the same mistakes.

And oh my gosh... That last comment. Haha!

Just don't let a Mugg--- errr.... a Sensor... read that! :laughing:
 
#6 ·
You're not alone in this crisis, just so you know. A LOT of us ENFPs go through these crises, me being one of them at one point. (It seems to be the most common crisis for other ENFPs on this forum to go through that's for sure)

We need to stop putting less weight on these labels because I believe that it can be our undoing as much as our salvation. Heidi's book was good, it did open up my mind a lot more to the struggles that I have been through and allowed me to look at myself in a slightly less bias viewpoint (I know that sounds impossible).

It's not weird to be an introverted ENFP (sounds like a contradiction but it's not). For some types, perhaps ESxPs or ExFJs extraversion seems more textbook but it isn't the case for ENFPs. We can be shy, quiet wallflowers and yet we are still very much different from the INFP in our quietness.
 
#7 ·
Hi. I wonder if you are going through some sort of crisis right now. Or, maybe your stress has increased? Sometimes people go outside of their usual pattern of behavior when there is a lot of stress. Another reason a person might do this is if something in their life just isn't working for them.

While I know I'm an INFP (in the same way, I'd imagine, you know you're an ENFP), I sometimes get weird about maybe actually being an INTP because I have a processing style in which I disengage from my Fi to process emotions. Perhaps there's some sort of style that you have which falls within your ENFP personality that causes you to distance yourself from people under certain circumstances.

I hope you get this sorted out!
 
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#9 ·
I do think I understand the cause for the dynamic shifts of person I've had. Part of all of this is finding ways to adapt and work around it. I do think at least, there has been some good to come of it so far. It's about staying busy and keeping focused on the goals I've set for myself -- all of which are things I'm very dedicated to achieving and excited about what could be the end results.

I know that feeling. I mean... Hence this post :laughing: It's definitely really weird how you can have the trademark characteristics of a type, but still have really well developed Ti, for example, when you may not even classicly be thought to based on your type. Sure doesn't make it any easier in sorting yourself out though!

Thanks for the response and the good wishes =]
 
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#8 ·
@Falling Foxes

I'm glad to know it's not just me making a larger deal of this than it needed to be and that it's something others have experienced. That was actually a large part of my conflicting argument of whether to even post this thread or not. I'm glad I eventually decided to do so. In turn, I think it allowed me to readdress my point of view.

I do want to read it sometime though. After searching for it, I saw nothing but good things of what people said about it. I feel as though I've learned a lot about myself over the past few years, but I'm sure there's always going to be more. But that's what makes learning about people so interesting -- even if it's not even about yourself. People are so complex. You'll never truly discover everything about them.

My introverted side was definitely part of what was giving me so much trouble understanding. I think you said it perfectly. We can be very much reserved, but our dynamic is still ultimately very different despite being so closely related in ways.
 
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#10 ·
ENFPs are often said to be the most Introverted Extroverts. Fi definitely plays a part in that and your values (and putting them in question) do seem strong in you.

As for possibly not being an Intuitive I wouldn't worry too much about that; after all we use both sides of the spectrum via different functions. Perhaps your Si is underused?

For whatever it's worth, you give me an ExFP vibe.
 
#11 ·
ENFPs are often said to be the most Introverted Extroverts. Fi definitely plays a part in that and your values (and putting them in question) do seem strong in you.

As for possibly not being an Intuitive I wouldn't worry too much about that; after all we use both sides of the spectrum via different functions. Perhaps your Si is underused?

For whatever it's worth, you give me an ExFP vibe.
 
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