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Are ENFPs good at "reading" INTJs?

[ENFP] 
11K views 24 replies 18 participants last post by  The Reformist123 
#1 ·
I find most types cannot read NTs well (especially xNTJs), but ENFPs have a knack for reading them (including the cryptic INTJ.)
 
#2 ·
I can chime in from the INTJ perspective.

When I first met the ENFP in my life, we hit it off right away. She could see that there was a lot under the surface that others didn't get to see. And she could tell a lot more about that than almost everyone else.

These days (2.25 years later) she gets me better than (literally) anyone else. She's good at reading me, and has accessed and unlocked parts of me that I wasn't even really aware were there. She sees, appreciates, and validates me in a way that draws me in and makes me want to be closer to her. It really brings out my soft side.

She understands the way I am and my motives in a way that the 3 ENFJs I know don't even come close to. They can be rather judgy and preachy actually. I don't have to adjust what I say to her and she doesn't have to drag things out of me.

The ENFPs here seem to get me really well too.
 
#3 ·
I think I'm generally pretty good at reading my fellow intuitives, but there is something about INTJs I have yet to put my finger on that makes me feel like I've known them my whole life. I definitely feel a kinship with them even though elements of us can be very different. Other than xNFPs, they're probably the type I'm most experienced with and fond of. Something about how Ni-Te compliments Ne so beautifully. Also how the two use the other's tertiary function, they're stronger in what the other is weaker in. I can help INTJs get in touch with those emotions ;) and they can help me bring some much-needed order to my life. Not to mention great people to come to when you have a problem. Many people look up to their dads, but that's one thing I love about having an INTJ dad is when I lose control of the car driving down the road of life, he can tell me exactly how I can get my grip back on the wheel. I really respect his input because he has a great track record with being right about things, even though that makes him a bit butthurt when he is wrong occasionally lol.

I have a good friend in a younger INTJ and I feel like our friendship is still growing a lot with how much we've been connecting lately. But whenever I talk to him, I feel constantly on the same wavelength as him. No other friend I have is ever on the same page as me at the same frequency as he seems to be. Super easy to talk to, and many of our conversations go in very interesting directions.
 
#5 · (Edited)
Yes; they are rather intuitive (via) changes in demeanor; as am I with them. We are connected; in intuitiveness. But not accurately. And thus, can be exhaustive, but in essence we flourish without effort.

She read too many conclusions and randomized scenarios from small cues; and for myself, just made too much know-it-all assumptiveness on the reasoning behind her discomfort (via) [pattern-recognization], rather than always listening in more detail [than assuming / problem-solving], before she completed one of her strenuous rants.

Ex;

It is true I am a bit distant tonight; it is however, false it is because I am planning on leaving / terminating our bond to pursue in a career on the other side of the world (&) elope with another specimen a long the way based off our conversation last night about Thailand™ cuisine.

______

Scene:


My ENFP™ ::

Are you sure because you're just acting so weird and -grabs hair- WHAT'S GOING ON. Something is different about you and I want to know what's bothering yew.

[HR][/HR]


INTJ™ Me ::

Yes I am sure; I am not am planning on leaving / terminating our bond to pursue in a career on the other side of the world (&) elope with another specimen a long the way based off our conversation last night about Thailand™ cuisine.

[HR][/HR]


My ENFP™ ::

((reluctant)) ... Okayyy...

[HR][/HR]

(2 hours) of us getting along pass.

[HR][/HR]

My ENFP™ ::

Look, if you're planning on leaving / terminating our bond to pursue in a career on the other side of the world (&) elope with another specimen a long the way based off our conversation last night about Thailand™ cuisine, you can just outright say it and be honest about, okay? I hate this; you're being so different and its bugging me.

[HR][/HR]


INTJ™ Me ::

I'm allergic to some Thai food? I don't actually want to go to Thailand; as I stated.

[HR][/HR]


My ENFP™ ::

Wait, so really that's it?

[HR][/HR]


INTJ™ Me ::

Yes.

[HR][/HR]


My ENFP™ ::

Haha, I feel stupid. I'm sorry. I always do this, but I know when something's bothering you. I just know.

[HR][/HR]


INTJ™ Me ::

Likewise. And, yes, yes you are.

[HR][/HR]


My ENFP™ ::

....... :( Ha, stawp.

[HR][/HR]


INTJ™ Me ::

K.
 
#7 ·
ENFPs can read me very easily; I feel so comfortable with them that I feel uncomfortable (if that makes sense.) I feel naked and vulnerable so I put up more INTJ walls and attempt to freeze them away with a glacial barrier.

It is weird, though, since most people see me as impenetrable and impossible to interpret (I receive this feedback frequently.)

Similarly, I often see through the exterior of ENFPs that most people make fun of; I give them a large amount of respect for their ideas and, usually, unappreciated intelligence.
 
#8 ·
ENFPs (supposedly) can read anyone and everyone. Which is both a blessing and a curse to us and them. Of course, part of the blessing is if you ever want to troll spesifically them without anyone else noticing it is really easy.
 
#18 ·
Hey Ghostcolors, I'm an ENFP 4w3 too! #kindredspirits #twinsies

I read everyone. It's automatic, but not subconscious as in below conscious awareness. I think that P at the end rather than a J, along with the extroverted intuition, makes ENFP people quite accurate because when you judge, you warp your vision a bit. Perceiving is just curious, so we can be open to everything and filter less.

Sometimes I find it difficult to interpret or understand INTJ. If I don't want something from you, that's fine, but if you're my boyfriend and I'm stuck in that controlling illusion that you are my source of love and safety, we run into trouble.
 
#19 ·
From what I read and hear both from my multitude of ENFP friends and family, and from the couple of real life and plenty of online INTJ friends, the answer is not really. Not for lack of trying and effort.

There is a lot of mutual magnetism between the two, and they tend to be attracted to each other, and lead very interesting conversations, that can be intellectually rewarding, to the extent, where they become couch potatos together, discussing the meaning of life.
However, the most common inter-MBTI question I see posted online anywhere is

I'm an ENFP, and I'm trying to understand and decode my INTJ. Pls help!
To be fair, one of ENFP's 17 theories is usually spot on, but the ENFPs around me generally tell me, they don't know which one! And the INTJs aren't big on confirming which. So, it's a hybrid between understanding, and confusion. They don't have a targeted instinct for INTJs, however, they have superior curiosity, so the intelligent ones know how to figure it out eventually.

It's one of the more intriguing pairings for friendship, and possibly a relationship.
 
#21 ·
It's both really, I think INTJ's get my feelings like when I'm upset or if I'm hiding something. I don't think many understand my reasoning for things though :tongue:

As for understanding INTJ's I'm not sure. It's sure their perception that I do. I feel more than anything it might not be that I truly understand but they feel comfortable talking to me and don't seem to care if I didn't initially understand, they are happy to explain without getting annoyed...like I have seem them do to so many people (or not bother explaining at all).

I think many ENFP/INFPs might be able to relate when I say people generally just let their guard down when they talk to me (mostly in person) and tell me things they wouldn't tell another virtual stranger. I think people feel close to me quickly, INTJ's included.


But not all INTJ's have been charmed by me or people obviously. I know 5 or 6 INTJ's in total (IRL) and one of them don't really feel anything for me and one really, really hates me haha. The first one finds me 'boring' she seems to only feel anything for NT's or even ST's. The other just doesn't like me because I'm dating the person she likes who is also an INTJ.

So really I don't necessarily think it's about understanding but having the ability to make you want them to understand and thus slowly we actually do understand.
 
#22 ·
When I'm in a social setting, I'm 'leading' personality wise with chameleonic, bubbly, fun-time aspects of myself that tries to include everyone.

I've noticed that INTJ types mildly enjoy/tolerate that aspect of me in a group, but can largely take it or leave it. However, if the course of the conversation steers in such a way that happens to show my version of intelligence, suddenly the INTJs entire energy changes and they're really into me as a person. It's quite comical to me because the switch in attitude and body language is palpable. They go from this 'uuuggghhh I'm putting up with these people' to sitting up straight and alert and into it. It feels really nice from my perspective because it gives me the sense that the INTJ values deeper parts of me, not just the surface stuff.

Then the more I get to know INTJs the more I see that our intelligence is vastly different, the way we come to things is totally different too.

There is loads I don't understand about INTJs but I DO understand for sure that the ones I know IRL are actually quite emotionally sensitive and have an ocean of feeling inside.
 
#23 ·
I had another experience with my INTJ that made me think of some more things, but mostly the other way around.

This time what I noticed is how well he knew me. Which was actually disconcerting, because he knew things that I didn't or couldn't remember telling him. Like, the situation was that I had come to him after having an awful panic attack and he instinctively knew how to make me feel better despite this being the first time, actually he had a better idea than I did. He knew I responded best to words (to which I asked, I do? :p) and so he proceeded to tell me exactly what I needed to hear at the time without me being aware that I needed it. Then I wake up and find he sent me a couple more affirming messages in the morning on a day I was seriously considering skipping class and staying home but didn't because of what he said. Somehow he knew what I needed to hear that morning as well.

For a very brief moment it actually made me consider INFJ for him, but then we got to a point in the conversation where he was talking about how much he can absolutely annihilate a Christian in a debate and then later nerded all over me about Magic the Gathering strategies, so that moment was very short-lived lol. So for now I'm keeping him as an INTJ with some strong-ass feeling for his age. He's told me he has a savior complex, but I wonder if that might be something to do with his enneagram or if it's something independent from his personality that stems from his childhood environment (pretty likely, it's a lot to go into but just awful).

But like, everywhere the conversation went he had input, I had input, and could mutually relate to what the other was saying even though there are big differences in our personalities. It's weird how I can't put my finger on why this is. And he got to talking about how he always feels like he's miles ahead of other people and they can't keep up with him, but that I could.

Also a bonus tidbit, he's not into mbti but he explained how his ESP shit works in a way that made a ton of sense to me trying to understand Ni. I've deduced he's in fact not psychic, he's just a living super computer lol.
 
#24 ·
I don't know what it is, but I can always read INTJs. I think it's because even though they don't show much, what they do reveal is exactly what I need to figure things out. I'm also good at piecing together the current body language with a past event to determine causation, for example: yes, yes, I know you're being mean and superior because you had to sit next to that one girl that's better than you at something and makes you feel inferior so now you have to establish dominance again.
Also, INTJs are rarely disingenuous or false in portraying their emotions, they just try not to show them. Like, an INTJ would never pretend to like you and then talk about you behind your back, they just wouldn't talk to you or would make it clear they didn't like you.
My take is this: INTJs say little but reveal a lot and ENFPs say a lot but actually reveal very little.
 
#25 ·
Well even i can read you ENFP's ( would've to go pass my polite behavior that I'm with many people to see my true INTJness to read me ) and might even scare you guys a bit too been unfazed with you ( most people would fall for your charms easily but I'm pretty capable of resisting it ) and staring at you like i know you but inside telling you don't worry too much just be who you're .
 
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