I've been trying to make since of this. I just need a little help understanding.
I'm an ENFP and have been hanging out with an older INTJ. I'm in my early 20s and he's in his mid 30s.
We became friends through him being a customer and I would bother him and get him to talk to more. Whenever he would visit he would ask for me to take a break with him so we could talk. We'd sit down and he'd ask me lots of questions about myself, and he started to help me get more into the film making community. About once a week for a couple of months I would email him questions to get to know him better he'd always respond.
We didn't really start to become really close until we end up attending the same gym. After working out we'd grab dinner and head home.(We'd never eat together but..still) He would drive me to the nearest bus stop. (I don't have a car). During this time I began to open up to him about my life and he always want to know what's going on in my life. I began to share my films that I made or random Ideas or thoughts that I didn't think anyone else cared about and he'd always listen. I hated my job and my lack of car and he used to tell me that "He had to save me"
During these period I really become to have strong feelings for him. I honestly felt that he felt the same about me.He'd always ask when I work, so he can stop by, let me hug him (one time I told him I wouldn't see him for a week and he actually came up hugged me)
Stares at me at the gym. Smiles whenever I talk to him..
Introduced me to his roomates & best friend who I love.
He often get upset if I talk about other guys even if they are my friends.
Little things like that.
Anyway I decided to finally confess my interest.
I told him that I liked him and he told me that he thought I was young, he them proceeded to change the subject. I was hoping to get some feeling in return. I asked him if that was the only reason. He replied yes.
I let it go for a about month and we did our normal routine of being around each other.
A couple weeks ago I felt that I still didn't know how he felt about me because he tried to avoid the situation.
I asked him again if he thought I was too young for him he said yes and then told me to let it go and he's not going to change his feelings on it.
I told him to explain because I don't know how he feels he said he didn't want to.
I'm so hurt, I pretended like it didn't affect me but I can't let it go. I care so much for him and for us to be so close just drives me crazy. I understand the risks and I don't blame him for being cautious but come on. I've tried looking for someone else but I don't want anyone else.
What should I do about this?
So for this being so long!