So, looking around this thread, I can see that my brethren are the type to be asking this sort of question a lot. As an INFP (with a very strong F and overactive P), I would love a sounding from an objective source.
I started dating an ENFJ a few months back, and while slow, it has been enjoyable. The ENFJ female initially planned to not even give me a chance, but found she was surprised in her own interest (her words) and decided to try this out.
In her past, she has had a few bad relationships, two that have left her scarred. She admitted openly when we started that she was bad at relationships. That she destroys them. That even if she found the perfect guy for her, she'd probably still destroy it.
Going on a few months now, and I've certainly seen days where I think it's going good. I get the happy smiles, the days where she texts me throughout the day, and the times when she is hurt that I don't get right to her. I'm an INFP and I'm extending myself for her, gladly! But, I find when I initiate, when I pursue, she clams up.
I get the feeling she expecting me to do something, and when I do it, it's as if I shouldn't have done it. I rocked the boat. But, in a relationship, you have to rock the boat right?
The hard part is, I'm an INFP and I know what I need and where I am at. I don't want to rush it, but I'm horribly confused. Is this working, or isn't it? If she doesn't find me "the one", I'd rather she find somebody else despite what it would do to me.
To her, I always talk about the good, and hide the uncertainty in my head. I don't want to scare her off. I'd love some insight.
Are ENFJs typically this close-lipped? Are they typically this scarred and slow to take interest? I've held off from being too intimate with her, but also worry that that doesn't make it any better? I don't know what she expects, what her idealizations are...and I'm stuck.
Advice would be good.