The Enfj and everything!

**powerstand281** · 10-09-2009 02:10 PM

Let us discuss all their is to discuss about being an ENFJ. The good, the bad and everyhting in between. Tell me what it means to you to be an enfj. Tell me what you love about being an ENFJ. Tell me what you dislike about it. Tell me everything.

**JennaRae** · 10-09-2009 08:13 PM

I love how I just KNOW how to interact with mainly everyone. I enjoy making people happy, and I'm generally pretty good at it.

I like that I'm sensitive and understanding. I enjoy having strong beliefs that I would stand up for.

However, I dislike that I have such a need to please people that I become depressed if someone is upset with me. I don't like that I cant be alone for long periods of time without having depressing thoughts- its almost like people fuel me, I have to be around them.

I dont like that I avoid confrontation. If something upsets me, I'll tell the person about it and then never come to a resolution because I hate having disagreements.

Thats just to name a few

**powerstand281** · 10-09-2009 08:53 PM

how"d you know me so well. lol

**JennaRae** · 10-10-2009 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by powerstand281

how"d you know me so well. lol

Isnt it nice having someone that understands you!? haha. I have a question for you though- recently I noticed that when i'm upset at someone, I dont want them to admit they're wrong, I just want them to empathize with how I feel... I just want to be told that they understand why i'm feeling the way I do, and apologize that I feel that way. I could care less if they tell me they were wrong. Do you feel that way too, or am i just a weirdo? lol

**Phoenix** · 10-10-2009 10:43 AM

Yup, you're weird (coming from an ISTP, that probably means you are normal). :P

If someone comes to you and admits they're wrong, you can graciously choose to forgive them. Why wouldn't you want that opportunity?
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**thehigher** · 10-10-2009 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by JennaRae

Isnt it nice having someone that understands you!? haha. I have a question for you though- recently I noticed that when i'm upset at someone, I dont want them to admit they're wrong, I just want them to empathize with how I feel... I just want to be told that they understand why i'm feeling the way I do, and apologize that I feel that way. I could care less if they tell me they were wrong. Do you feel that way too, or am i just a weirdo? lol

No your not weird at all. You're merely taking the route that leads to more connection. This isn't wrong or bad. It is a preference....and one that few actually dare to take.

**powerstand281** · 10-10-2009 08:34 PM

Yes it is wonderful to be able to relate with someone like myself! Save the gender differences...lol

Interesting question. In fact i do notice that in myself, not as specifically, buit i do notice that in confrontaion with others i tend to diss miss the win lose aspect of the situation and focus on coming to a resolution that we both can agree on. so, to answer your question: no i do not think you are weird for this at all.

I have a question for you. I have been told in the past this makes me a weak person and I firmly disagree. On the contrary, I think it makes be a better and stronger person because within the conflict I am searching for knowledge and a solution so that the problem doesn't return instead of simply competing to win, which in my opinion is weakness. What do you think?

**JennaRae** · 10-11-2009 05:32 PM

Originally Posted by thehigher

No your not weird at all. You're merely taking the route that leads to more connection. This isn't wrong or bad. It is a preference....and one that few actually dare to take.

Aww! you always know how to make me feel better

lol

Originally Posted by powerstand281

Yes it is wonderful to be able to relate with someone like myself! Save the gender differences...lol

Interesting question. In fact i do notice that in myself, not as specifically, buit i do notice that in confrontaion with others i tend to diss miss the win lose aspect of the situation and focus on coming to a resolution that we both can agree on. so, to answer your question: no i do not think you are weird for this at all.

I have a question for you. I have been told in the past this makes me a weak person and I firmly disagree. On the contrary, I think it makes be a better and stronger person because within the conflict I am searching for knowledge and a solution so that the problem doesn't return instead of simply competing to win, which in my opinion is weakness. What do you think?

How could that make someone weak!? I find it to be a more mature approach to solving problems. You cant just go back and forth until someone gives up and admits defeat. That doesn't solve anything at all- one person just comes out feeling like a loser. I don't want people to feel bad, I just want them to understand how I feel, which is the same respect I'd give them if I were to do something upsetting.

There's no point in feeling mad until it just goes away. The best approach is to address the situation and find an amicable solution. It may seem weak to someone that goes to a strip club to show how MANLY they are, drinks beer because they're a MAN, and then finds someone to beat up to release their MANLY frustrations. But that also shows immaturity because they're unwilling to address the feelings and emotions behind their frustrations, and to actually work through them so they dont feel like that again. Its a very closed minded opinion to say that finding the best solution for everyone is weak.

**LadyAutumn** · 10-11-2009 06:31 PM

<3 <3 <3 ENFJs <3 <3 <3

**powerstand281** · 10-12-2009 08:06 AM

How could that make someone weak!? I find it to be a more mature approach to solving problems. You cant just go back and forth until someone gives up and admits defeat. That doesn't solve anything at all- one person just comes out feeling like a loser. I don't want people to feel bad, I just want them to understand how I feel, which is the same respect I'd give them if I were to do something upsetting.

There's no point in feeling mad until it just goes away. The best approach is to address the situation and find an amicable solution. It may seem weak to someone that goes to a strip club to show how MANLY they are, drinks beer because they're a MAN, and then finds someone to beat up to release their MANLY frustrations. But that also shows immaturity because they're unwilling to address the feelings and emotions behind their frustrations, and to actually work through them so they dont feel like that again. Its a very closed minded opinion to say that finding the best solution for everyone is weak.[/quote]

Your are so very right! I couldn"t have said it better myself.