Iím sorry, this is a little embarrassing, but I would like a bit of relationship advice! I know it may seem a bit personal to share, but I truly think members of PerC have a strong insight into human thought and behaviour, and so I would like some guidance from the greats, if it's alright. : P
Anyway, it's really stressing me out, since I really care for my friend and want him to be happy.
First of all, I'd like to say that I really do love my ENFJ friend. He is honestly the most sweetest, caring, self-sacrificial, compassionate, forgiving, kind, gentle, friendly, optimistic, loving, sweetheart cuddle-bear I've ever met. Wow, I love the entire ENFJ temperament. So, so sweet...
Putting all my gushy INFJ feelings aside, he is a bit of an Idealist. Well, too much of one, actually.
The story is, we knew each other since we were young-ins, then I moved away and we lost contact. In the last year, I rang him up and we've chatted. He's told me that he's had feelings for me ever since we knew each other, and that he wants to give it a go with me. He's very persistent, sensitive, and has some self-esteem issuesÖ he doesn't see he's an amazing guy though, and I want to make sure he knows that I'll be there for him.
But I've thunk and thunk and thunk it over some more, I can honestly just say that I don't think I can be there for him in a romantic way. I believe that we don't have chemistry, that it's completely platonic on my part, but I do still care about him.
I really want to tell him. But as an INFJ I really don't have the heart to! How can I say that I honestly care about him and really do want to be friends, in the least painful way?
The question is: What is the most sensitive and gentle method of communication I ought to use for his sake? How do ENFJs want to be approached when it comes to dealing with conflict?
Thanks for your help in advance!