[Nayru]

Hey ENFJ!

I was wondering about this. I don't know if you've ever heard of this Masculine / Feminine energy thing in people. That most people have a natural preference, and that it plays an important part in an intimate relationship. You can read about it in tons of books about men / women and relationships. That in order for there to be passion and sexual attraction in a relationship, there has to be polarity -- a masculine energy and a feminine energy. Here is a quick picture of each to be more clear:

Masculine energy:
-control
-focus on "more" and better
-wants to "break through" things, conquer things. Be victorious
-grows on challenge
-focus on mission and work
-more tough



Feminine energy:
-no need to really control
-loving, caring
-free flow of feelings
-vulnerability
-focus more on relationships
-softness
-healing

You can also have a more balanced essence, which about 10% of people have. 90% of people though, have a definite preference. Note that you can be a more masculine woman, and you can be feminine woman naturally. And you'll be naturally attracted to people with your opposite. If you're a feminine woman you wouldn't be very attracted (physically, at least) to a man who also has a more feminine essence; there would be no polarity, no attraction.

So what do you think your essence is, more masculine or feminine? I would imagine male ENFJ's to have a more masculine essence, but I'm not sure about ENFJ ladies. I've been thinking about this whole concept a lot lately, and would really like to hear your response.

[Rems]

for an enfj female to be stable and balanced in a relationship they need to be more masculine (as their prime function already is extroverted feelings) especially to say a male counterpart of infp who may be perceived as careless, yet in this way gains control. I'm glad that you said energy though because it has do with you appearance and personality as well. For instance for a feminine looking enfj female to attract a infp male with a feminine personality, she has to come off as strong and independent to get that attraction.

[iCastPizza]

I believe I have some masculine essence traits, but I think my preference goes to the feminine side. I feel more attracted to masculine women so..I guess.

[Ziwosa]

Looks I associated fully with Feminine energy. Hurray! -.-

[chickpeaax]

I really can't decide out of those, so I'd say I'm balanced...
everyone always tells me I'm a very masculine girl, but would be a very feminine boy. So, I guess I'm neutral.
Probably because I was a tomboy when growing up, I don't know.

[Mynameisnick]

Masculine for me but I'm constantly telling my guy friends they need to get in touch with their feelings and they respond by calling me a girl. haha.

[dagnytaggart]

100% masculine, according to that criteria. I still care about my appearance, though.

[IcarusDreams]

By your list criteria, I have "feminine" energy (the only "masculine" trait I have is "grows on challenge," and the only feminine I don't have is "vulnerable.") But guess what, I am INFP. :) I am happy with myself however, and have no need AT ALL to prove to people that I am "masculine." I am just myself, and yes, in my case, I am heterosexual.

The thing I am not sure about is being "naturally attracted to the opposite" as I find I love sweet, feminine women. Perhaps I am the exception to these rules, wherever they came from? Or perhaps I don't care if they have a masculine or feminine energy after all. I like kind, understanding, supportive people, regardless energy, I would say. Most of these kind of women will at least tend to be NF of some sort, but everybody can be compassionate and understanding, regardless type or "energy" (IMHO.)

[BlueSpiral]

From what you listed as energy, I would say 85% masculine and 15% feminine. I am extremely goal driven and self motivated, I seek out challenges constantly. But at the same time, I don't really feel like I need control at all times. There are times I feel like I need to focus on relationships and show my caring side to my significant other.

But I think it also depends on how one is raised. I was raised by my mother single handedly for the majority of my life, I had little or no masculine traits while I was growing up. However, when I realized it's time to step up, the masculinity gradually manifested itself.

[makntha1]

Masculine most definatly