I was wondering about this. I don't know if you've ever heard of this Masculine / Feminine energy thing in people. That most people have a natural preference, and that it plays an important part in an intimate relationship. You can read about it in tons of books about men / women and relationships. That in order for there to be passion and sexual attraction in a relationship, there has to be polarity -- a masculine energy and a feminine energy. Here is a quick picture of each to be more clear:
-focus on "more" and better
-wants to "break through" things, conquer things. Be victorious
-grows on challenge
-focus on mission and work
-no need to really control
-free flow of feelings
-focus more on relationships
You can also have a more balanced essence, which about 10% of people have. 90% of people though, have a definite preference. Note that you can be a more masculine woman, and you can be feminine woman naturally. And you'll be naturally attracted to people with your opposite. If you're a feminine woman you wouldn't be very attracted (physically, at least) to a man who also has a more feminine essence; there would be no polarity, no attraction.
So what do you think your essence is, more masculine or feminine? I would imagine male ENFJ's to have a more masculine essence, but I'm not sure about ENFJ ladies. I've been thinking about this whole concept a lot lately, and would really like to hear your response.