[Viktoria]

Okay, so we know what the the personality test theory has to say about them. We've seen webpage after webpage of the same of thing. But what do people really think when they hear about ENFJ's?

You have to be completely honest.
Both positive and negative opinions are great.
It does not matter if you are right or wrong, it's just the way you view them.

ENFJ's are pretty nice people to be friends with. They usually know when something's bothering you. They are smart. They need to be reassured a lot. They listen when you need someone to talk to. They can be really depressed when you leave them alone for too long. Every once and a while they can be a bit clingy. When they need to settle down and do work, they do it without too many distractions. I think they like to get things over with rather than procrasinate...most of the time. They tell you exactly what they are thinking, as in honest. They are amazing people.

What are your thoughts concerning the ENFJ?™

[kph5034]

They almost always think there is some hidden meaning behind something someone says. This usually causes them to take things personally because they may sometimes assume that someone is subtly insulting them even though they actually are not.

They don't like small talk. They love deep one on one conversations but struggle to keep small talk moving along... this especially happens when running into a friend in public.

They don't over-react in crisis situations. Very good at remaining calm when others are freaking out. ENFJs almost never make things into a "big deal."

ENFJs hate being alone. It's almost torturous to have to sustain long periods of aloofness. In a way, ENFJs are afraid of being alone because they worry that they will not be capable of controlling their thought process.

Always honest, and always expect honesty from others. Have a strong dislike for people who "beat around the bush."

[thehigher]

Very nice
comforting

I'm not crazy about how they randomly shut off relationships that are not how they wanted them to be. I realize that they are just protecting themselves....but I wish they would just talk about it ....rather than just run away. Like ...its almost like leading you on. Kinda weird.

I like how interested they are in you. I like how they know what you are thinking and genuinely care about everyone.

I don't like how they accidentally flirt with everyone. I wish they had more boundaries. I wish they would know when to stop when it comes to getting too flirty.

I'm also not crazy about how judgemental some of them are about certain things. Like....not everything is the way you make it out to be....i wish they would loosen up a little bit and realize that value systems change....and are rather subjective.

On the up side....when they DO flirt....its really freakin hot. The fact that they are so deeply caring is something very rare that I also like a lot. I like how they want to talk about deep things.....thats all I ever want to talk about.

I feel like they make jiudgements on me whenever i am not in a good place in my life. its like they are nice....then they realize im a lil unsettled....then they just run away. ouch much?

This may be just the enfjs ive known.

[kph5034]

Very nice
comforting

I'm not crazy about how they randomly shut off relationships that are not how they wanted them to be. I realize that they are just protecting themselves....but I wish they would just talk about it ....rather than just run away. Like ...its almost like leading you on. Kinda weird.

I like how interested they are in you. I like how they know what you are thinking and genuinely care about everyone.

I don't like how they accidentally flirt with everyone. I wish they had more boundaries. I wish they would know when to stop when it comes to getting too flirty.

I'm also not crazy about how judgemental some of them are about certain things. Like....not everything is the way you make it out to be....i wish they would loosen up a little bit and realize that value systems change....and are rather subjective.

On the up side....when they DO flirt....its really freakin hot. The fact that they are so deeply caring is something very rare that I also like a lot. I like how they want to talk about deep things.....thats all I ever want to talk about.

I feel like they make jiudgements on me whenever i am not in a good place in my life. its like they are nice....then they realize im a lil unsettled....then they just run away. ouch much?

This may be just the enfjs ive known.

I def agree... especially with the flirting part. I use to struggle with being overly flirtatious, but I've learned to tone it down when necessary.

[Shadow1980]

They almost always think there is some hidden meaning behind something someone says. This usually causes them to take things personally because they may sometimes assume that someone is subtly insulting them even though they actually are not.

They don't like small talk. They love deep one on one conversations but struggle to keep small talk moving along... this especially happens when running into a friend in public.

They don't over-react in crisis situations. Very good at remaining calm when others are freaking out. ENFJs almost never make things into a "big deal."

ENFJs hate being alone. It's almost torturous to have to sustain long periods of aloofness. In a way, ENFJs are afraid of being alone because they worry that they will not be capable of controlling their thought process.

Always honest, and always expect honesty from others. Have a strong dislike for people who "beat around the bush."

I agree with many, many things you said. I am an ENFJ and I don't have a clue how to engage in small talk. LOL However, I disagree with your "hate to be alone" portion. I LOVE and need to be alone sometimes. It's overwhelming to be surrounded with people all the time. I think several descriptions of ENFJ even say that out of all the extroverts ENFJ's need alone time the most. However, I confess, when I am alone my phone is constantly going off, I am getting emails, etc...so maybe I am never truly "alone" and you are correct?! ha ha!

[kph5034]

I agree with many, many things you said. I am an ENFJ and I don't have a clue how to engage in small talk. LOL However, I disagree with your "hate to be alone" portion. I LOVE and need to be alone sometimes. It's overwhelming to be surrounded with people all the time. I think several descriptions of ENFJ even say that out of all the extroverts ENFJ's need alone time the most. However, I confess, when I am alone my phone is constantly going off, I am getting emails, etc...so maybe I am never truly "alone" and you are correct?! ha ha!

I agree that ENFJs do need alone time... but if an ENFJ is cutoff from society (this means no email, phone, etc.) they may start to overthink things. (This may lead to those infamous "dark thoughts" that some ENFJ profiles claim exist.)

EDIT: I've been in situations where I couldn't communicate with people for extended periods of time... all I can say about it is that it's scary how us ENFJs can get consumed into our thought when alone.

[Roland]

I agree that ENFJs do need alone time... but if an ENFJ is cutoff from society (this means no email, phone, etc.) they may start to overthink things. (This may lead to those infamous "dark thoughts" that some ENFJ profiles claim exist.)

EDIT: I've been in situations where I couldn't communicate with people for extended periods of time... all I can say about it is that it's scary how us ENFJs can get consumed into our thought when alone.

everyone would eventually go insane if left alone long enough, its not just enfjs. you also said yourself that your a depressive perfectionist, so I think your point of view on enfjs and loneliness is really subjective.

I absolutely need my alone time, although once iv had my fix I do need to be connected to ppl.

Also about relationships: when I was younger I have cut off relationships without any warning or explanation. Though i don't do that anymore. Mostly because I realized that it was kind of fucked up to do so and I realize that communication is key.

Small talk is also subjective, some are good at it, others are bad, its just something you have to work at.

I think the world can either love or hate an ENFJ.

I only know two others that are ENFJ forsure, one is my best friend and he and I work together really well to grow as people, and we are always recommending things to others, in an appropriate manner.

Though the other ENFJ I know is a little over compulsive. She needs attention 24/7 and because of that people get sick of her. She's only trying to help, but she doesn't have the proper etiquette. I've talked to her about it once and shes fully aware of it to, she said she'd try to relax a little lol.

[Oreocat]

This usually causes them to take things personally
They love deep one on one conversations
Very good at remaining calm when others are freaking out. ENFJs almost never make things into a "big deal."
ENFJs hate being alone. It's almost torturous to have to sustain long periods of aloofness.
Always honest, and always expect honesty from others.

Wow...This is so true I always have the fault of taking things way to personally or falling into deep depression when I'm all alone..Its nice in a way just to see that I'm not totally insane and other people get the same feelings sometimes

[Calvaire]

I don't know Maybe it's just me,but every single ENFJ I seem
to have meet annoy the fuck out of me. I just can not stand them,even
though for some reason they tend to like me and then I feel bad about how
horrible I think they are. Even writing that I mean I feel bad about it,but it's the
truth..
I know INFP's+ENFJ's are supposevly an amazing pair but
I don't know not for me.

Maybe one of you can prove me wrong but so far
ENFJ-least favorite type

sorry :x

[sharrkmaster]

I don't know Maybe it's just me,but every single ENFJ I seem
to have meet annoy the fuck out of me. I just can not stand them,even
though for some reason they tend to like me and then I feel bad about how
horrible I think they are. Even writing that I mean I feel bad about it,but it's the
truth..
I know INFP's+ENFJ's are supposevly an amazing pair but
I don't know not for me.

Maybe one of you can prove me wrong but so far
ENFJ-least favorite type

sorry :x

What about ENFJ's annoys you so much?