[Lady Lullaby]

I hope skogprinsessa and OmarFW read this especially: I was giving this more thought - - Why AREN'T there more ENFJ videos?

I would say (for myself) it is because relationships are deep for us and we don't expose our whole selves to just anyone - -and somehow it feels a little risky to put my face OUT THERE without being able to get to know 'you' first. (I did put my eyes out there - the eyes in my avatar/profile are mine). I know that sounds introverted - - it isn't - - I can talk face to face to strangers easily because I am there getting a feel for your 'take' on me and can decide to withdraw or delve deeper. A video for the whole world to see without me knowing what they thought? I want the back and forth, I want the reassurance that yes - I like you - first, before I show you my quirks and weaknesses because my feelings are pretty intense and I have learned to protect them.

But this is what makes ENFJs trustworthy - we know what it is like to be afraid of sharing emotions so we have become really good at helping others feel safe to open up.

(From an ENFJ Portrait:
ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.
Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.
The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves."

[leesh]

Agreed! I am sort of nervous and introverted on camera and on the phone. I like the face-to-face vibes and feedback. But, rest assured, I'll post a video soon. I think it sounds like fun times!

[Nobleheart]

I tried to find some ENFJ videos... and there aren't many.

This person had one where she talked about being an ENFJ, but this video of her really shows ENFJ body language and manner of communication better. We are very clearly feeling the subjects we are speaking about. We are often very expressive with our hands, and animated when speaking, however the emotion in our faces is often more in our eyes than any other feature.



Here is a video of Natasha Bedingfield, a singer who I'm pretty convinced is an ENFJ. Notice the similarity in the body language, facial expressions, and most importantly eye movements. ENFJs have a very deep and intense gaze, but tend to cut their eyes a lot, avoiding too much direct eye contact (probably to avoid making people uncomfortable).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJUk5YVc-Gs

Here are a few celebrities who are assumed to be ENFJs, to help give an idea of how to spot us.

[Lady Lullaby]

OK You Guys! I read leesh's agreement with my original response and when she said she was planning on posting a video and I saw Benedox's video and then the video Nobleheart posted I wondered - - can you really tell what personality type someone is by watching them on video?? Hmmm...intriguing... I may delete this from youtube after a short time just 'cuz I'm paranoid about creeps online, but I also am very curious if after watching me you think there are ENFJ pointers in my vid??

So here I am - - - (It is so weird to hear how nervous I sound - I can speak in public no problem! - why is this 'unknown audience' thing so intimidating for me?? BLAH! And what do I think if someone sees this who "knows' me? OH - and I SAID IT WRONG - my husband is an ISTJ once he took the test!! SHEESH I'm bad at this already! haha, now that I did it - (nervousness and all) Please come say hello you other ENFJs! Let's not hide, we're 'extroverted' for heavens sake!)

[skogprinsessa]

I hope skogprinsessa and OmarFW read this especially: I was giving this more thought - - Why AREN'T there more ENFJ videos?

I would say (for myself) it is because relationships are deep for us and we don't expose our whole selves to just anyone - -and somehow it feels a little risky to put my face OUT THERE without being able to get to know 'you' first. (I did put my eyes out there - the eyes in my avatar/profile are mine). I know that sounds introverted - - it isn't - - I can talk face to face to strangers easily because I am there getting a feel for your 'take' on me and can decide to withdraw or delve deeper. A video for the whole world to see without me knowing what they thought? I want the back and forth, I want the reassurance that yes - I like you - first, before I show you my quirks and weaknesses because my feelings are pretty intense and I have learned to protect them.

But this is what makes ENFJs trustworthy - we know what it is like to be afraid of sharing emotions so we have become really good at helping others feel safe to open up.

(From an ENFJ Portrait:
ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.
Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.
The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves."

Thank you, this was very insightful! If the function of an ENFJ's personal expression is to help others reach their potential or form deep relationships, it makes perfect sense that talking to a camera wouldn't be the ENFJ's cup of tea. I guess I had too quickly assumed that ENFJ's were just so on-the-go that posting here wouldn't be a priority and it didn't even occur to me that there may be a deeper reason. Thank you for enlightening me! As an INFP I am reserved about posting videos too, but for very different reasons (mainly for privacy's sake and feeling that I can express myself much more freely anonymously).

[thehigher]

I think our roles as enfjs and infps are almost flipped wheny ou get online. suddenly we as infps are much more talkative and "wear our hearts on our sleeves" while enfjs are actually seemingly timid in opening up online. They seem much more reserved.

[Nobleheart]

OK You Guys! I read leesh's agreement with my original response and when she said she was planning on posting a video and I saw Benedox's video and then the video Nobleheart posted I wondered - - can you really tell what personality type someone is by watching them on video?? Hmmm...intriguing... I may delete this from youtube after a short time just 'cuz I'm paranoid about creeps online, but I also am very curious if after watching me you think there are ENFJ pointers in my vid??

So here I am - - - (It is so weird to hear how nervous I sound - I can speak in public no problem! - why is this 'unknown audience' thing so intimidating for me?? BLAH! And what do I think if someone sees this who "knows' me? OH - and I SAID IT WRONG - my husband is an ISTJ once he took the test!! SHEESH I'm bad at this already! haha, now that I did it - (nervousness and all) Please come say hello you other ENFJs! Let's not hide, we're 'extroverted' for heavens sake!)

YouTube - ENFJ - Lullabyblossom.mpg

Thank you for posting your video. It took a lot of courage, and I admire you for it. I hope you leave the video on youtube, because it really is a great example of our type. (And you did a good job of staying anonymous, as we ENFJs very ironically prefer to do.)

You seem very much like a classic ENFJ in your presence and demeanor. I saw a lot of my own body language and facial expressions in you, the hand movements, and especially the way your eyes move. You also have the most telling ENFJ trait - the intense yet kind eyes and deep feeling that radiates from you without blasting people with it. I've got no doubt you're an ENFJ. :-) In a lot of ways I felt like I was looking into a mirror. I move and emote almost exactly the same way. I'm also in my 30s, and as mentioned am at a similar point in my development, so this isn't surprising at all.

Also, you're quite lovely, and I hope this doesn't sound strange but I can see God's presence on you. You are clearly blessed and that's awesome.

In answer to your question about your sweetie. ISTPs are a great match for ENFJs. In essence they are our perfect opposites. We have the same cognitive functions, but we use them in reverse order. This means we're constantly bringing out the best in each other, and though we don't start at the same place, we end up at the same place. It's a perfect balance of growth and harmony.

On the subject of people assuming that I'm interested in them when I'm just being nice to them, or my need to flirt... yes, this is absolutely an ENFJ trait. Oddly enough, one of my best friends is an ISTP and he explained it to me in a way that I never would have figured out on my own. He said "When you talk to someone, anyone, you show them that you care about them very sincerely. You pour your focus into them, and you're a very deep feeling person. To most people who have never met someone like you, it is easy to mistake what you are showing them because the people that love them can't show them as much care and sincere interest as you can when you're just casually talking. It's honestly intoxicating."

I also understand how it feels to lose my sounding board. They are crucial to us ENFJs, especially ones who already see the patterns. Again, this is a very ENFJ trait.

Thank you, this was very insightful! If the function of an ENFJ's personal expression is to help others reach their potential or form deep relationships, it makes perfect sense that talking to a camera wouldn't be the ENFJ's cup of tea. I guess I had too quickly assumed that ENFJ's were just so on-the-go that posting here wouldn't be a priority and it didn't even occur to me that there may be a deeper reason. Thank you for enlightening me! As an INFP I am reserved about posting videos too, but for very different reasons (mainly for privacy's sake and feeling that I can express myself much more freely anonymously).

I think our roles as enfjs and infps are almost flipped wheny ou get online. suddenly we as infps are much more talkative and "wear our hearts on our sleeves" while enfjs are actually seemingly timid in opening up online. They seem much more reserved.

Yup, it's one of our peculiarities. I can't tell you how often people are surprised to find out how reserved I am in real life. ENFJs tend to be very private and introspective for extroverts. We love people, and I think a lot of the reason we're so good with people is that we have a good understanding of people's needs because we have them too.

[leesh]

Thank you for the kitty cameo!! I think you'll get to meet my kitties when I introduce y'all to me and my home.

Yeah, maybe the internet does make us INFP's... weird.

[Lady Lullaby]

You seem very much like a classic ENFJ in your presence and demeanor. I saw a lot of my own body language and facial expressions in you, the hand movements, and especially the way your eyes move. You also have the most telling ENFJ trait - the intense yet kind eyes and deep feeling that radiates from you without blasting people with it. I've got no doubt you're an ENFJ. :-) In a lot of ways I felt like I was looking into a mirror. I move and emote almost exactly the same way. I'm also in my 30s, and as mentioned am at a similar point in my development, so this isn't surprising at all.

Boy, it sure feels great to feel understood! That is really cool to hear you see yourself in this vid - that's what I thought about Benedox's video (although I think I spoke softer in mine 'cuz my little ones were sleeping). Thanks for being here - - it is also nice to know I'm not a loner in the age department!

Also, you're quite lovely, and I hope this doesn't sound strange but I can see God's presence on you. You are clearly blessed and that's awesome.

Thank you! That isn't strange at all! I sincerely WANT to have His presence with me! I don't think I could receive a nicer compliment!

In answer to your question about your sweetie. ISTPs are a great match for ENFJs. In essence they are our perfect opposites. We have the same cognitive functions, but we use them in reverse order. This means we're constantly bringing out the best in each other, and though we don't start at the same place, we end up at the same place. It's a perfect balance of growth and harmony.

I guess I'll stop fighting it - - I kept thinking he fit the INTP descriptions better....but your explanation definitely describes our harmony and peaceful combo!

He said "When you talk to someone, anyone, you show them that you care about them very sincerely. You pour your focus into them, and you're a very deep feeling person. To most people who have never met someone like you, it is easy to mistake what you are showing them because the people that love them can't show them as much care and sincere interest as you can when you're just casually talking. It's honestly intoxicating."

'intoxicating' - - I won't deny I like that word...in the interaction sense not the inebriating sense. What he said is true though - we can't help but pour our attention into others, and we ARE sincerely caring about and interested in them! Sigh - - I guess there is no 'turning it off' - - which is why it took a lot of conscious effort to be 'professional' at work once I was married so I wasn't misunderstood.

I also understand how it feels to lose my sounding board. They are crucial to us ENFJs, especially ones who already see the patterns. Again, this is a very ENFJ trait.

Again - I'm feeling very happily understood and I don't think anything tastes as good as understanding to ENFJs! Thank you again!

[Lady Lullaby]

I felt like I was looking into a mirror.

Nobleheart - - you've gotta do a video!!! Pretty please? Let's go hunt out the ENFJs and have them all help us bring the human-ness of internet forums out with more friendly faces and voices in video!

What'y'a say? I know Leesh is going to (right Leesh?) (I'll still luv you guys either way of course....)