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About LinkBacksI had to be told that what I was doing was manipulation. Really, all I do is simply offer it as an alternative and talk about the benefits of doing said alternative.
This is a discussion on ENFJs & Manipulation within the ENFJ Forum - The Givers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I had to be told that what I was doing was manipulation. Really, all I do is simply offer it ...
I had to be told that what I was doing was manipulation. Really, all I do is simply offer it as an alternative and talk about the benefits of doing said alternative.
ENFJs have the gift-of-the-gab and are extremely magnetic. I even find myself gravitating towards them. But they has been ENFJs who have really f****d up my life :(
Because they have the power to influence people they can abuse it. Some do it for good causes, like to help out people and do what's best for them. I adore that type of ENFJ. But some are so manipulative that they can even turn a saint against you. But I've only ever come across two ENFJs who were like this, the rest I have adored completely.
It's like with all types, you can either get one that adorable or you can get one of the same type who is a right royal pain in the arse. Take us INFJs for example. They can either be protective and selfless of the total opposite. One in particular that I met springs to mind. She was protective to the point where it was interfering and controlling and like a true INFJ she often though about her thoughts and feelings and tried to fathom their meanings - but the the point where she was self-absorbed.
So I suppose what I am trying to say is that there is good and bad in every type :)
i'm very manipulative however I never use it for bad, I use it to motivate my friends to do things I know they should be doing and to ensure they meet their full potential, I'm sure there are other ways (maybe different, but I doubt it ;)) but manipulation is just key.
however don't get ENFJ's wrong, we don't sit here going 'Im going to manipulate this person to do that'. It's generally just the way we help people get things done :/ be it in our favour or in their own favour.
And that's my favourite type of ENFJ, ones that use their skills to help people :)Originally Posted by EP THE MUSICIAN
LOL....what?
I have joked that ENFJ males are usually physically unattractive, because they have such charming, women-drawing personalities that it would be unfair to the other guys if they were good-looking.
(and pssst: Extroversion has nothing to do with confidence....)
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Personally, I don't find ENFJs manipulative, at least not the ones I've known. My pet peeves with them are: the flirting default mode they go into with anything that moves, the aversion to deeper conversation (everything is kept light-hearted), the tendency to be disappointed/complain because of overly high ideals, a tendency to be overly frugal (what is this about?), and this faux arrogance they take on from time to time (it's half-joking, but still annoying).
All in all, those are minor grievances and I generally really enjoy the ENFJ personality. I tend to click with them immediately IRL, and that's rare for me.
Hahaha, I'm glad that the way i use my ENFJ skills is favoured by someone.
And LOL @ ENFJ Males being ugly out of fairness, I rate it :)... but who needs looks right, it's all about personality ;)
Sometimes this manipulation talent can really tear you in two directions.
For instance my parents wanna buy a new car, a 4x4 for driving in rough terrain and stuff. I know its a bad idea caus they nt gonna get that much value out of it caus they'll only go on holiday like once a year, but i also know it'll make them incredibly happy.
I have the ability to influence them not to buy it.
SO should i go for the practical option of not getting it or what will make them happy, lol one of the less glamorous sides of manipulation and our personalities.
Hi OrangeAppled!I have GOT to ask you to expound on this. It sounds like you're describing my brother! Explain this "aversion to deeper conversation" bit. I don't see myself this way at all. I eat up conversation!! Maybe the guys are this way??? Maybe my brother is an ENFJ too. I never thought he might be...interesting!!
The comment about the joking thing, I think I get that. I always joke around like I'm so great. It's all about the WIN, lol!! Seriously, can you give some examples??? I'm so curious as to what you are meaning here!! Thx!!
Haha, the frugal thing, that's hilarious! I've never seen that pointed out before, but it's TRUE!! I'm so darn frugal, yet impulsive, it's weird.
I don't entirely think that it's a male thing about the aversion to deep conversation, I just choose not to speak deeply to those who I intuitively sense will not appreciate the depth of the intellect I can bring to a conversation. And when it needs to be light hearted to bring up the cheery mood somewhere, I'll be that funny guy who makes self-depreciating jokes if need be, or at least bring the mood down a bit with some humor of anything.
But I really do enjoy deep, well-thought conversations about...life, and the meaning of everything and the world. Sometimes I'll manipulate people's opinions using my ability to change the topic, or insert random bits of intelligence to add mystique to myself. Be the wild and random self I am normally, then have a bout of "I truly care about the world but you just need to show interest to get the deeper meanings to me".
But I guess we all have our different ENFJ traits, and mine is...well...weird.
We make great sales people. I don't like to think of it as manipulative, I like to think of it as getting the other person to understand what the need at hand is. Convincing. We are so in tune with others make-up/emotions, that we know when and how to pull the right strings to get the reaction we are wishing or hoping for. The problem is...when you don't get what you want, how do you react?
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