[xackery]

My mom is ENFJ, and I have to say being your mother you get used to being manipulated mentally into guilt trips (EVEN AS AN INTJ) to do various things, this is even beyond the point I was a child, there is definitely a lot of feeling of her trying "not" to seem manipulative (now that I'm alert for it), but she never the less does it naturally xD



Haha. She's great, though, it's just that she definitely slides in thoughts when she's not happy with you in a more discreet fashion. And they'll bore into your skull and make you go nuts with how she word it, JUST ENOUGH to tactically make you feel remorse even if you weren't planning to feel that way!

But being INTJ, I think I need that level of subtely yet strong feeling of pressure in order to actually get influenced by another person to do anything. My resistances to such outside worldy things are usually so high of resistance, I need those piercing dagger stabs inside my full plate armor in order to wake me up. :)

I can bet she is definitely very good at working with INTJ's, considering she married one. Haha.

[mzdolphin]

I'm an ENFJ. I can certainly get my way when I need to. But I'm aware of my "skills" and they are mostly used for good.

[DayLightSun]

I think there is a huge difference between female and male ENFJs.
And their maturity level. Psych problems can also involve in how we see people.
My mom is ENFJ very healthy knows how to diffuse problems. She can make them too though.
Exs ENFJ1 Bipolar( high IQ), ENFJ2 mood swings (low IQ).
Its all about perspective.

[thehigher]

A lot of people manipulate. I think nfs are probably better at it than others due to the ninja-like-feeling-yoda-tricks we know how to pull. We sense emotion and know how to react for better....and worse. We can do this with almost anyone without their thinking side even noticing. It's whatever. Just don't let it get out of hand.

[tom]

NJ types are the best in manipulation. Introverts are less exposed, Thinkers are better protected (people are afraid to openly accuse them, they play the game well).

ENFJs tend to exaggerate and project their own vision over the facts. They usually do it with good intentions and it often motivates people to achieve more, but this demanding nature can also be counter-productive. It depends.

They are project-oriented, and treat people according to their place in the project. In other words, one can be smooth-talked into friendship while he is useful and then thrown away by stirring false accusations. ENFJs are also the best with propaganda and rumours. They would easily get the crowd to hate someone that they personally don't like.

They probably don't even realize these things, because they are so convinced in their right judgement about people, especially who are "good" and who are "bad". When in reality this is usually a personal prejudice.

[Takerboy85]

You can also determine the nature of the friendship/relationship as well. Example: Your partner is acting all nice and mushy to you after asking you to do something. If you don't do what they ask, then they get passive aggressive with you. It is pretty obvious that they just want something from you and don't give a damn about you and it is just a single-serving relationship.

I am an ISTP and have run into a fair amount of people like this. Usually, I have this weird ability to sense when someone is being manipulative or when someone has good intentions.

The bottom line is if you sense that a person may be manipulating you, they probably are.

[Roland]

You can also determine the nature of the friendship/relationship as well. Example: Your partner is acting all nice and mushy to you after asking you to do something. If you don't do what they ask, then they get passive aggressive with you. It is pretty obvious that they just want something from you and don't give a damn about you and it is just a single-serving relationship.

The bottom line is if you sense that a person may be manipulating you, they probably are.

yup forsure.

The thing though about ENFJs is that we have a very good understanding of social rules, social etiquette so to say. We're often portrayed as valuable people, which is why we hold so much power to manipulate. But this value we have also comes from somewhere: from past experiences of trust, compassion and reliability. Even with those we've never met and whom have no past experiences or knowledge about us: we dont come off as creepy strangers, who give out candy to little kids on the street and that our parents warned us about. Though if we were to give out candy to random kids on the street, we would do it in a proper honest manner, such a way that simply through our actions people would have trust in us, although im not sure if I would ever take candy from a stranger lol.

We can even look at it from a seductive point of view. I am willing to bet that most enfjs are attractive people because for one, it takes some level of confidence to be extroverted and physical beauty really does help with that (though I am completely aware there are physically beautiful people who are very introverted and that there are less attractive people with high levels of extrovertism, theres always exceptions to the rule). And also ever heard of the concept that sex sells?

Anyways, about ENFJs, (sorry im gonna write this fom a first person point of view, because im still new to this community and I dont know if i can speak on the behalf of all ENFJs, but this is to my understanding of myself) if I am trying to manipulate you, you shouldnt have to worry too much, I might be thinking of doing something that will benefit me but I wouldn't cross the line to fuck you over, I have a very high sense of altruism and I get immense guilt trips if ever I cross the line and feel dishonest. I always have to confess whats on my mind. This is random and you might not get it but even when im shopping and I buy something, im only going to buy it if I absolutely love it and need it. If I dont absolutely need it im going to stress over it and return whatever I bought at the store and get my refund.

I had tried this sales job, you might have heard of it. Its called CutCo knives. I had gone through the whole 3 day training and everything, during that time I was somewhat sold on the product. When I went home and examined what I had to sell, and did a few presintations to my family, my friends and their parents, I knew this stuff wasn't for me. A few of them wanted to buy some knives off of me, especially my relatives, but I wouldnt let them. I had gone to see a knife specialist after my training, something I should have done from the start. For one the knives were way overpriced, they weren't even "forged", whatever that meant. They were decent quality knives selling for the price of high end japanese knives. I couldn't let myself do it. I quit a week later.

[Perseus]

After looking more into the natural weaknesses of my type, I've noticed that one of our biggest problems is manipulation.

I may just be naive, but I've never really understood what this means. To me, that's a red flag, because I could just be unaware of it in myself and be hurting people without realizing it.

Basically, I just want to know personal experiences with this problem, and what it looks like in practice.

And if you've never noticed this problem before, what are other pro's/con's of ENFJs?

Trickery and manipulation is a part of life. I have been a victim of a conspiracy of lies and it is the worse thing in the world if your are self-employed and rely on your good name for business. ENFJ Teachers are not the biggest culprits though. I think female Cats ISFP cause more damage this way than all the other types put together. However, ISFJ House Mouse woman can be bad, and the gullible men of all sorts will collaborate. ESFJ Horsemen and male Camel variants are also up these devious tricks.

Bully Online says more.

[NephilimAzrael]

This was one I made a while ago..

My sister is ENFJ, and boy is she manipulative.. So if anyone here thinks ill of me, meet my sister!

[Shadow1960]

I am an ENFJ. I have noticed that I tend to get what I want when I want it; however, I do not view my means as manipulative at all. I've heard other ENFJ's (i.e. Oprah and Barack Obama) describe the life altering realization that they are a part of the world and not separate from it. As an ENFJ, I had a similar realization years ago. Once you realize that you are not separate from: your co-worker, your friend, the homeless man on the corner, even your cat and plant, you start sensing what they need on a very primal level and feel compelled to give it to them. They are in fact a part of you. Naturally, the universe will be kind to you in return. It's a very simple law of nature ENFJ's seem to catch onto which may seem "manipulative" but it's just reality: energy can't resist kindness. It's almost as if the universe feels equally compelled to take care of you when you take care of it.