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Judging Types Having Relationships With Perceiving Types

[ENFJ] 
3K views 10 replies 7 participants last post by  niffer 
#1 ·
For the past month or so I've been dating someone that I would type as an ENFP. (I'm not 100% on EN yet, but she is definitely FP).

I really like her. A lot. As unhealthy as it might be I'm sort of looking for her "hidden" faults right now (mainly because I'm extra picky/guarded due to my previous relationship). So far there is only one thing that I've found. She tends to be a bit flaky and unorganized. For example, I'm the type that likes to set up plans and then follow them (aren't all of us J's that way?) she, on the other hand likes to wait until the day before or the day of to plan something. I can be flexible, but this interferes with my ability to plan other things and it is starting to be a minor annoyance at this point.

I'm just wondering how other J's deal with a relationship with a P. I'm pretty good at being flexible, but this is pretty early on and I'm not sure if I could deal with it if it escalates a bunch later.


P.S. - The other night she did ask me to go to a charity event with her that is a few weeks away, so at least that shows that she does possess the ability to plan in some degree.
 
#6 ·
Actually I decided to break things off with her shortly after I made that post. We were just too different and despite the fact that we got along really well I couldn't really see a long-term future with her. I decided to "just be single" for a while, but that didn't last long. I ended up meeting an (assumed) fellow ENFJ that has completely blown me away. The first time I walked in her kitchen I saw her dry-erase calendar on the wall and I knew I found a good one. :laughing: She also told me that she liked it when I pulled out my phone to put something in my Google calendar. I think maybe I'm just destined to be with another J.
 
#7 · (Edited)
If you don't love someone, or, as you said, you sub-consciously want to avoid intimacy due to your last relationship, it will be easy to find fault anywhere you go.

That said, it's all about meeting in the middle and also talking about it.

If you are already seeing faults and annoyances in someone during your first month, which is usually the month of infatuation where both partners are "perfect," then you might be running into other issues more important than her spontaneity.
 
#8 ·
If you don't love someone, or, as you said, you sub-consciously want to avoid intimacy due to your last relationship, it will be easy to find fault anywhere you go.

That said, it's all about meeting in the middle and also talking about it.

If you are already seeing faults in annoances in someone during your first month, which is usually the month of infatuation where both partners are "perfect," then you might be running into other issues more important than her spontaneity.
lol I love how INFJs are always smart AF and see through everybody's shit
 
#11 ·
Actually the only thing in regards to orderliness that being an ENFJ should indicate is being conceptually orderly, especially as in being orderly with their relationships with others. Then again, if you typed that girl as a P yourself, you were probably just basing it off of stereotypes and generalizations anyway.
 
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