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Originally Posted by slowriot  yes, but there's this thing about someone that can completely do whatever they want with you, they use that power sometimes.
ENFJ = manipulation.
But they are so freaking intoxicating |
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Originally Posted by Mystic Jenn LOL! Yeah, they are rather intoxicating, aren't they? |
This is funny to read because I've had women tell me that I'm intoxicating more than a few times in my life. That word keeps coming up. My favorite quote was a very frustrated INTP yelling "Why do you have to be so intoxicatingly sexy!?" at me in the middle of a party.
I'm very good at getting people to do what I want, but it's not a conscious manipulation. My other ENFJs agree that we don't do this on purpose, and I have an ISTP friend who explained how it works. Sincerity. We really truly honestly care about you and the result, so the charisma that ensues isn't a manipulation. It's just irresistable charm. To assume we can pull this off consciously is giving us far too much credit. It's just who we are. You know, intoxicating.
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Originally Posted by Mystic Jenn So my question is: How well do ENFJ / ENFJ romantic relationships work and how well do ENFJ Female / INFJ Male romantic relationships work? |
I've been
very attracted to a few ENFJ females, and when I say very attracted, I mean so attracted that I would lose my ability to speak English when I was around them. The chemistry between us was intensely tangible. And while they were clearly attracted to me too, there were always factors that kept us from getting together... or more importantly, factors that kept me from pushing my way into a relationship with them.
In other words, I acted like an INFJ in these moments, and I never got the girl.
ENFJ females very much want to be romanced, and if you want one, you're going to have to step up and take her... woo her, and win her heart. ENFJ females tend to be hopeless romantics, so she'll want to be swept off her feet. In other words, as an INFJ this is going to be really difficult, especially when you're competing with a guy who is predisposed to taking this approach. But, it can be done! Just as I mentioned, ENFJ guys can sometimes become too considerate and fail to sweep a girl off her feet even when we really want her. And to be honest, I think there is a better balance in an ENFJ / INFJ relationship long term, but it does seem to work better when the ENFJ is the male and the INFJ is the female, as the ENFJ female generally wants a guy that is 'stronger' than herself and sometimes it's really difficult to see INFJ strength, even though it is very much there.
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Originally Posted by thehigher Obviously im not enfj but I've seen the INFJ ENFJ match much more than ENFJ ENFJ. |
The only significant long term relationship in my entire life was an INFJ. This was an almost ideal pairing. We only ever had three fights and they all consisted of us not talking for about 30 minutes, then agreeing that whatever the tension was over was not worth the relationship.
I've dated a few INFPs, and had amazing chemistry with them, emotionally, mentally, and physically, but the relationships never worked out. It was as ifwe couldn't get our timing right.
As mentioned, I've been very attracted to ENFJ females, and I think it could have worked out. However, I think there would have been less harmony than with an INFJ. Granted, the passion and intensity would have probably made up for it, but I could see that as being potentially volitile, and possibly leading to an explosive break up before it was over. However, I could also see it being absolutely ideal if we were both truly into each other.
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Originally Posted by Mutatio NOmenis I thought INTP's were supposed to be the type for ENFJ's. |
I have several INTP female friends. We tried dating. I couldn't really accept the lack of emotional chemistry. It wasn't a bad connection, just wasn't harmonious or enough to keep me truly interested.
The logic that implies these sorts of pairings ideal... INTP+ENFJ, ENTP+INFJ, etc. is really flawed and based on the assumption of inverted judging functions and opposing perception functions. It just leads to a lack of connectivity.
I'm quite convinced that the INFJ/ENFJ pairing is the most ideal for long term relationships. This pairing has the least amount of obstacles for the partners to overcome.
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