[A note of caution: This will be long. However, I am dividing it into several different posts for convenience.]
Introduction
THE GODS.
By Robert Ingersoll
(lecture in public domain)
EACH nation has created a god, and the god
has always resembled his creators. He
hated and loved what they hated and loved, and
he was invariably found on the side of those in
power. Each god was intensely patriotic, and
detested all nations but his own. All these gods
demanded praise, flattery, and worship. Most of
them were pleased with sacrifice, and the smell
of innocent blood has ever been considered a
divine perfume. All these gods have insisted
upon having a vast number of priests, and the
priests have always insisted upon being supported
by the people, and the principal business of these
priests has been to boast about their god, and to
insist that he could easily vanquish all the other
gods put together.
These gods have been manufactured after
numberless models, and according to the most
grotesque fashions. Some have a thousand arms,
some a hundred heads, some are adorned with
necklaces of living snakes, some are armed with
clubs, some with sword and shield, some with
bucklers, and some have wings as a cherub ; some
were invisible, some would show themselves entire,
and some would only show their backs; some
were jealous, some were foolish, some turned
themselves into men, some into swans, some into
bulls, some into doves, and some into Holy Ghosts,
and made love to the beautiful daughters of men.
Some were married — all ought to have been —
and some were considered as old bachelors from
all eternity. Some had children, and the children
were turned into gods and worshiped as their
fathers had been. Most of these gods were
revengeful, savage, lustful, and ignorant. As they
generally depended upon their priests for infor-
mation, their ignorance can hardly excite our
astonishment.
These gods did not even know the shape of
the worlds they had created, but supposed them
perfectly flat. Some thought the day could be
lengthened by stopping the sun, that the blowing
of horns could throw down the walls of a city,
and all knew so little of the real nature of the
people they had created, that they commanded
the people to love them. Some were so ignorant
as to suppose that man could believe just as he
might desire, or as they might command, and that
to be governed by observation, reason, and experi-
ence was a most foul and damning sin. None of
these gods could give a true account of the crea-
tion of this little earth. All were wofully deficient
in geology and astronomy. As a rule, they were
most miserable legislators, and as executives, they
were far inferior to the average of American
presidents.
These deities have demanded the most abject
and degrading obedience. In order to please
them, man must lay his very face in the dust.
Of course, they have always been partial to the
people who created them, and have generally
shown their partiality by assisting those people
to rob and destroy others, and to ravish their
wives and daughters.
Nothing is so pleasing to these gods as the
butchery of unbelievers. Nothing so enrages
them, even now, as to have someone deny their
existence.
Few nations have been so poor as to have but
one god. Gods were made so easily, and the raw
material cost so little, that generally the god mar-
ket was fairly glutted, and heaven crammed with
these phantoms. These gods not only attended to
the skies, but were supposed to interfere in all the
affairs of men. They presided over everybody and
everything. They attended to every department.
All was supposed to be under their immediate con-
trol. Nothing was too small — nothing too large ;
the falling of sparrows and the motions of the
planets were alike attended to by these industrious
and observing deities. From their starry thrones
they frequently came to the earth for the purpose
of imparting information to man. It is related of
one that he came amid thunderings and lightnings
in order to tell the people that they should not
cook a kid in its mother's milk. Some left their
shining abodes to tell women that they should, or
should not, have children, to inform a priest how
to cut and wear his apron, and to give directions
as to the proper manner of cleaning the intestines
of a bird.
When the people failed to worship one of these
gods, or failed to feed and clothe his priests, (which
was much the same thing,) he generally visited
them with pestilence and famine. Sometimes he
allowed some other nation to drag them into slav-
ery — to sell their wives and children ; but gen-
erally he glutted his vengeance by murdering their
first-born. The priests always did their whole
duty, not only in predicting these calamities, but in
proving, when they did happen, that they were
brought upon the people because they had not
given quite enough to them.
These gods differed just as the nations differed ;
the greatest and most powerful had the most pow-
erful gods, while the weaker ones were obliged to
content themselves with the very off-scourings of the
heavens. Each of these gods promised happiness
here and hereafter to all his slaves, and threatened
to eternally punish all who either disbelieved in his
existence or suspected that some other god might
be his superior ; but to deny the existence of all
gods was, and is, the crime of crimes. Redden
your hands with human blood ; blast by slander the
fair fame of the innocent ; strangle the smiling
child upon its mother's knees ; deceive, ruin and
desert the beautiful girl who loves and trusts you,
and your case is not hopeless. For all this, and for
all these you may be forgiven. For all this, and for
all these, that bankrupt court established by the
gospel, will give you a discharge ; but deny the ex-
istence of these divine ghosts, of these gods, and
the sweet and tearful face of Mercy becomes livid
with eternal hate. Heavens golden gates are shut,
and you, with an infinite curse ringing in your ears,
with the brand of infamy upon your brow, com-
mence your endless wanderings in the lurid gloom
of hell — an immortal vagrant — an eternal outcast
— a deathless convict.
One of these gods, and one who demands our
love, our admiration and our worship, and one who
is worshiped, if mere heartless ceremony is worship,
gave to his chosen people for their guidance, the
following laws of war : " When thou comest nigh
unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim peace
unto it. And it shall be if it make thee answer
of peace, and open unto thee, then it shall be
that all the people that is found therein shall be
tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee.
And if it will make no peace with thee, but will
make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it.
And when the Lord thy God hath delivered it into
thy hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with
the edge of the sword. But the women and the
little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city,
even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thy-
self, and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies
which the Lord thy God hath given thee. Thus
shalt thou do unto all the cities which are very far
off from thee, which are not of the cities of these
nations. But of the cities of these people which
the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance,
thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth"
Is it possible for man to conceive of anything
more perfectly infamous ? Can you believe that
such directions were given by any being except an
infinite fiend ? Remember that the army receiving
these instructions was one of invasion. Peace was
offered upon condition that the people submitting
should be the slaves of the invader; but if any
should have the courage to defend their homes,
to fight for the love of wife and child, then the
sword was to spare none — not even the prattling,
dimpled babe.
And we are called upon to worship such a
god; to get upon our knees and tell him that he
is good, that he is merciful, that he is just, that
he is love. We are asked to stifle every noble
sentiment of the soul, and to trample under foot
all the sweet charities of the heart. Because we
refuse to stultify ourselves — refuse to become
liars — we are denounced, hated, traduced and os-
tracized here, and this same god threatens to tor-
ment us in eternal fire the moment death allows
him to fiercely clutch our naked helpless souls.
Let the people hate, let the god threaten — we
will educate them, and we will despise and defy
him.
The book, called the bible, is filled with pas-
sages equally horrible, unjust and atrocious. This
is the book to be read in schools in order to make
our children loving, kind and gentle ! This is the
book to be recognized in our Constitution as the
source of all authority and justice !
Strange ! that no one has ever been persecuted
by the church for believing God bad, while hun-
dreds of millions have been destroyed for thinking
him good. The orthodox church never will forgive
th<- Universalist for saying " God is love." It has
always been considered as one of the very highest
evidences of true and undefiled religion to insist
that all men, women and children deserve eternal
damnation. It has always been heresy to say,
" God will at last save all."
We are asked to justify these frightful passages,
these infamous laws of war, because the bible is
the word of God. As a matter of fact, there never
was, and there never can be, an argument, even
tending to prove the inspiration of any book what-
ever. In the absence of positive evidence, analogy
and experience, argument is simply impossible, and
at the very best, can amount only to a useless agita-
tion of the air. The instant we admit that a book
is too sacred to be doubted, or even reasoned about,
we are mental serfs. It is infinitely absurd to sup-
pose that a god would address a communication to
intelligent beings, and yet make it a crime, to be
punished in eternal flames, for them to use their
intelligence for the purpose of understanding his
communication. If we have the right to use our
reason, we certainly have the right to act in accord-
ance with it, and no god can have the right to
punish us for such action.
The doctrine that future happiness depends
upon belief is monstrous. It is the infamy of
infamies. The notion that faith in Christ is to
be rewarded by an eternity of bliss, while a de-
pendence upon reason, observation, and expe-
rience merits everlasting pain, is too absurd for
refutation, and can be relieved only by that un-
happy mixture of insanity and ignorance, called
" faith." What man, who ever thinks, can believe
that blood can appease God ? And yet, our entire
system of religion is based upon that belief. The
Jews pacified Jehovah with the blood of animals,
and according to the Christian system, the blood
of Jesus softened the heart of God a little, and
rendered possible the salvation of a fortunate few.
It is hard to conceive how the human mind can
give assent to such terrible ideas, or how any
sane man can read the bible and still believe in
the doctrine of inspiration.
Whether the bible is true or false, is of no
consequence in comparison with the mental free-
dom of the race.
Salvation through slavery is worthless. Salva-
tion from slavery is inestimable.
As long as man believes the bible to be infalli-
ble, that book is his master. The civilization
of this century is not the child of faith, but of
unbelief — the result of free thought.
All that is necessary, as it seems to me, to
convince any reasonable person that the bible is
simply and purely of human invention — of bar-
barian invention — is to read it. Read it as you
would any other book ; think of it as you would
of any other ; get the bandage of reverence from
your eyes ; drive from your heart the phantom
of fear ; push from the throne of your brain the
cowled form of superstition — then read the holy
bible, and you will be amazed that you ever, for
one moment, supposed a being of infinite wisdom,
goodness and purity, to be the author of such
ignorance and of such atrocity.
Our ancestors not only had their god-factories,
but they made devils as well. These devils were
generally disgraced and fallen gods. Some had
headed unsuccessful revolts ; some had been caught
sweetly reclining in the shadowy folds of some
fleecy cloud, kissing the wife of the god of gods.
These devils generally sympathized with man.
There is in regard to them a most wonderful
fact: In nearly all the theologies, mythologies
and religions, the devils have been much more
humane and merciful than the gods. No devil
ever gave one of his generals an order to kill
children and to rip open the bodies of pregnant
women. Such barbarities were always ordered by
the good gods. The pestilences were sent by the
most merciful gods. The frightful famine, during
which the dying child with pallid lips sucked the
withered bosom of a dead mother, was sent by
the loving gods. No devil was ever charged with
such fiendish brutality.
One of these gods, according to the account,
drowned an entire world, with the exception of
eight persons. The old, the young, the beautiful
and the helpless were remorsely devoured by the
shoreless sea. This, the most fearful tragedy
that the imagination of ignorant priests ever con-
ceived, was the act, not of a devil, but of a god,
so-called, whom men ignorantly worship unto this
day. What a stain such an act would leave upon
the character of a devil ! One of the prophets
of one of these gods, having in his power a cap-
tured king, hewed him in pieces in the sight of
all the people. Was ever any imp of any devil
guilty of such savagery?
One of these gods is reported to have given
the following directions concerning human slavery:
"If thou buy a Hebrew servant, six years shall
he serve, and in the seventh he shall go out free
for nothing. If he came in by himself, he shall
go out by himself; if he were married, then his
wife shall go out with him. If his master have
given him a wife, and she have borne him sons
or daughters, the wife and her children shall be
her master's, and he shall go out by himself. And
if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master,
my wife and my children ; I will not go out free.
Then his master shall bring him unto the judges ;
he shall also bring him unto the door, or unto
the door-post ; and his master shall bore his eai
through with an awl ; and he shall serve him for-
ever."
According to this, a man was given liberty upon
condition that he would desert forever his wife and
children. Did any devil ever force upon a hus-
band, upon a father, so cruel and so heartless an
alternative ? Who can worship such a god ? Who
can bend the knee to such a monster ? Who can
pray to such a fiend ?
All these gods threatened to torment forever
the souls of their enemies. Did any devil ever
make so infamous a threat? The basest thing re-
corded of the devil, is what he did concerning Job
and his family, and that was done by the express
permission of one of these gods, and to decide a
little difference of opinion between their serene
highnesses as to the character of" my servant Job."
The first account we have of the devil is found
in that purely scientific book called Genesis, and is
as follows: "Now the serpent was more subtile
than any beast of the field which the Lord God
had made, and he said unto the woman, Yea, hath
God said, Ye shall not eat of the fruit of the trees
of the garden ? And the woman said unto the ser-
pent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the
garden ; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the
midst of the garden God hath said, Ye shall not
eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall
not surely die. For God doth know that in the
day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened
and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
And when the woman saw that the tree was good
for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and
a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took
of the fruit thereof and did eat, and gave also
unto her husband with her, and he did* eat. * *
And the Lord God said, Behold the man is be-
come as one of us, to know good and evil ; and
now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of
the tree of life and eat, and live forever. There-
fore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden
of Eden to till the ground from which he was
taken. So he drove out the man, and he placed
at the east of the garden of Eden cherubim and
a flaming sword, which turned every way to keep
the way of the tree of life."
^According to this account the promise of the
devil was fulfilled to the very letter. Adam and
Eve did not die, and they did become as gods, know-
ing good and evil.
The account shows, however, that the gods
dreaded education and knowledge then just as they
do now. The church still faithfully guards the
dangerous tree of knowledge, and has exerted in
all ages her utmost power to keep mankind from
eating the fruit thereof. The priests have never
ceased repeating the old falsehood and the old
threat: "Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye
touch it, lest ye die." From every pulpit comes the
same cry, born of the same fear : " Lest they eat
and become as gods, knowing good and evil." For
this reason, religion hates science, faith detests rea-
son, theology is the sworn enemy of philosophy,
and the church with its flaming sword still guards
the hated tree, and like its supposed founder, curses
to the lowest depths the brave thinkers who eat
and become as gods.
If the account given in Genesis is really true,
ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He
was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of
learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to
whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the
creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of in-
quiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and
of civilization.
Give me the storm and tempest of thought and
action, rather than the dead calm of ignorance and
faith ! Banish me from Eden when you will ; but
first let me eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge !
Some nations have borrowed their gods ; of
this number, we are compelled to say, is our own.
The Jews having ceased to exist as a nation, and
having no further use for a god, our ancestors
appropriated him and adopted their devil at the
same time. This borrowed god is still an object
of some adoration, and this adopted devil still ex-
cites the apprehensions of our people. He is still
supposed to be setting his traps and snares for the
purpose of catching our unwary souls, and is still,
with reasonable success, waging the old war against
our god.
To me, it seems easy to account for these ideas
concerning gods and devils. They are a perfectly
natural production. Man has created them all,
and under the same circumstances would create
them again. Man has not only created all these
gods, but he has created them out of the materials
by which he has been surrounded. Generally he
has modeled them after himself, and has given
them hands, heads, feet, eyes, ears and organs of
speech. Each nation made its gods and devils
speak its language not only, but put in their
mouths the same mistakes in history, geography,
astronomy, and in all matters of fact, generally
made by the people. No god was ever in advance
of the nation that created him. The negroes rep-
resented their deities with black skins and curly
hair. The Mongolian gave to his a yellow com-
plexion and dark almond-shaped eyes. The Jews
were not allowed to paint theirs, or we should
have seen Jehovah with a full beard, an oval face,
and an aquiline nose. Zeus was a perfect Greek,
and Jove looked as though a member of the
Roman senate. The gods of Egypt had the
patient face and placid look of the loving people
who made them. The gods of northern countries
were represented warmly clad in robes of fur ;
those of the tropics were naked. The gods of
India were often mounted upon elephants; those
of some islanders were great swimmers, and the
deities of the Arctic zone were passionately fond
of whale's blubber. Nearly all people have carved
or painted representations of their gods, and
these representations were, by the lower classes,
generally treated as the real gods, and to these
images and idols they addressed prayers and
offered sacrifice.




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