Do you think that Women should ask out Men? - Page 15

Do you think that Women should ask out Men?

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This is a discussion on Do you think that Women should ask out Men? within the The Debate Forum forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; Why not pose the question, why shouldn't women ask out men? The most common answer you will get will be ...

  1. #141

    Why not pose the question, why shouldn't women ask out men?

    The most common answer you will get will be something based off of social norms and the way things are suppose to be and always have been or something about gender stereotypes. "Its just the way things are." "Men are suppose to be the ones who make the first move." "If a woman asked out a man she would appear as if she were a slut, whore or a flirt." Or a slew of other derogatory remarks.

    All of those are just complete and utter bullshit, social constructs based off of "norms" generated from a society that is as fucked up as it is. We buy into the same society that gives us these social norms AND that dictates its A-ok to kill people. I call horse shit

    /end rant
    Last edited by Humilis Curator; 04-20-2011 at 11:13 AM.
    CynicallyNaive, Cover3 and mOchO thanked this post.

  2. #142

    I ask guys out. I pursue them. I initiate contact with them if I'm interested. I also dump them if they aren't what I'm looking for.

    Nobody think I'm a slut. They just think that I'm aggressive, although I don't think that my way of pursuing guys can be considered as aggressive. I'm actually pretty laid-back and easy-going. But if I think that the guy is toying me and playing with my feelings when I'm pursuing him, I will not hesitant to take a firm action and walk away.
    CynicallyNaive and mOchO thanked this post.

  3. #143

    I wish more girls were like you WickedQueen. It's fucking ridiculous how some girls think that the perfect man is just gonna come their way. Some goes for men. I mean it's possible, but not likely. I'm introverted, and have a tad of the schizoid personality disorder (i think), so every girlfriend, friend, or acquaintance has come to me. Not like I'm just some amazing, interesting person, I have barely any friends. It's just that I never, from day one of kindergarten felt it was important to make social bonds. In high school, and middle school, a few girls showed interest, but I never made a move. I didn't even know that's what was I was supposed to do, honestly, I just thought they wanted to be friends. I'm extremely attracted to women. I love everything about them. I had only one girlfriend and after talking with her in art class for months, and hanging out at lunch, she finally asked me out. That's not even what I wanted or intended. It just sort of hapened, and we split up once summer came, because, according to her I made no effort to see her ever. Just never thought about.
    WickedQueen, CynicallyNaive, Cover3 and 1 others thanked this post.

  4. #144

    Equality is equality. It's got to be an expectation roughly equivalent to the expectation on men. All of the women I've been with have expected more in the assertive sense from me than they've expected from themselves. You can't have it both ways here; equal rights means equal responsibilities, and that extends to social expectations.
    WickedQueen, CynicallyNaive and mOchO thanked this post.

  5. #145

    I don't get what the big deal is. In my relationship I was the one who asked my now-husband out first. Neither of us thinks that's odd or wrong at all. Anyone who is interested in anyone else should be able to just ask them out - who cares if it's a man or the woman?
    CynicallyNaive and mOchO thanked this post.

  6. #146

    Quote Originally Posted by WickedQueen View Post
    I ask guys out. I pursue them. I initiate contact with them if I'm interested. I also dump them if they aren't what I'm looking for.

    Nobody think I'm a slut. They just think that I'm aggressive, although I don't think that my way of pursuing guys can be considered as aggressive. I'm actually pretty laid-back and easy-going. But if I think that the guy is toying me and playing with my feelings when I'm pursuing him, I will not hesitant to take a firm action and walk away.
    Me likes the cut-throat, no nonsense style.

    Personally, I would not mind at all.
    WickedQueen and Cover3 thanked this post.

  7. #147

    I've never asked out a man because I've never had to. If I'm interested in one, I flirt to make it obvious and that usually gives them enough courage to ask me (even the shy ones). If they don't respond because they're not interested or they're taken, then I don't humiliate myself too much.

    That's not to say I don't agree with women asking men out. I think it's a good thing to abandon outdated social norms. If I'm ever single again, it probably won't be something I'll do because there are still plenty of men willing to ask first. If they suddenly stopped, then I'd have to rethink my strategy.
    CynicallyNaive thanked this post.

  8. #148

    I forget who said it but I agree with the 'I think people should ask people out'. My earlier post was anti-stereotypes rather than astereotypes (without stereotypes), it's all too easy to go the other way and end up still acknowledging stereotypes but saying 'I don't like the way they make me look so I'm against them' rather than just letting go and saying to yourself 'why even react like you think they exist? If they don't exist then I don't need to be bothered by people asserting they do.'

    I've started to take the approach of just not acknowledging stereotypes and acting surprised when people bring them up, basically going 'why do you think that's relevant? It never even crosses my mind that gender matters in this.' It seems to throw people off because I don't seem defensive to them, so they don't feel that I secretly believe in stereotypes and am simply threatened by what they're saying, it paralyses them more effectively, which is basically what I like to happen.
    The Roving ENFP and mOchO thanked this post.

  9. #149

    Meh, who cares... I agree, people should ask out people.. If you love somebody, you can't just let them pass you by.
    How about the next level, does everyone feel the same way about marriage proposals?
    CynicallyNaive and mOchO thanked this post.

  10. #150

    I would ask someone out... but only if i had too, being asked by someone does seem somewhat more natural


 

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