Atheists: How would you explain death to a three year old?

Child: What is a funeral?
- People gather to remember a person that they loved, that has now passed from life.

Child: What is to die?
Me: Going back into same state where you originally were before you were born. The non-being, is my wild guess. Some believe that they dead people go to heaven, some people believe that they will reincarnate in different form. Truth is that none really knows for sure. But isn't it great that life's greatest mystery has no spoilers?

Child: What is it like?
Me: No slightest idea.

Sometimes I wonder if people have ever talked to kids and know what they can even understand.

Originally Posted by Angelic Gardevoir

One of the functions of religion seems to be a defense against the psychological consequences of knowing that you may not exist after death. Atheists have shed a need for such a defense. No one with a shred of humanity wants to tell a child about death since they themselves have trouble accepting it as a fact. And thus the idea of an afterlife remained alive for generations and will remain alive for generations to come. Atheists, however, try to accept death as a fact. How would they encourage their children to do the same?

You are so right about this. I took a sociology class over death and dying. And one of the things we talked about was that religion was created to explain death.

I for one would straight up tell them that nothing happens. And see if I could get away with it and hope that they wouldn't ask any other questions.

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlet

You are so right about this. I took a sociology class over death and dying. And one of the things we talked about was that religion was created to explain death.

I like to call this "ontological shoring up". Social narratives add parameters to our understanding of ourselves. Why be good? What happens after death? A story can fill in those gaps amazing efficiently.

This is one of those times when the truth might actually harm a little child, please lie, you absolutely must. You cannot shatter their world. I still lie to my 8 year old when the question comes up.

Originally Posted by paranama

This is one of those times when the truth might actually harm a little child, please lie, you absolutely must. You cannot shatter their world. I still lie to my 8 year old when the question comes up.

I'm curious. At what age will you be truthful about it? I eventually have to run this gauntlet, so I'm wondering how other people plan on handling it.

Think of it like Legos. First, there's just a big pile of legos. Then, you build an awesome spaceship and have a lot of fun with it. But then one day, you take the ship apart and put it back in the box. Where do you think the ship was before you put it together? If you can figure that out, you'll understand where it goes.

I guess at the same time that Santa, the Tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny will be retired. I hope I have another year or two, reality and fairy tales are not distinct yet, why not let them dream a little longer, the real world will be their reality soon enough and forever.

I never forget my daughter's face (she is now 14) when I decided to tell her that Santa wasn't real at the age of 9, she was stunned and sad I did in fact shatter her world. I assumed that her friends already told her, I made a big mistake there, so keep it going as long as you can.

Originally Posted by paranama

This is one of those times when the truth might actually harm a little child, please lie, you absolutely must. You cannot shatter their world. I still lie to my 8 year old when the question comes up.

I'm really surprised people struggle so much with this. I have a large extended family so I experienced my first death when I was 3 and by the time I was 18 I'd been to 14 funerals, most of them open casket.

I don't see having an open conversation with a child about death and grief as something that could be damaging to them. Like I said, my niece experienced her first close loss at 3 years and she handled it just fine with a lot of openness and honesty.