Why is Sluttyness More Hated?

Because we live in a society where it's okay for males to sleep around and seem like a champion, but women are made pariahs for being less exclusive with sexual relationships or being a little more risque in their choice of clothing. Sex is sex, point blank end of story. Why should it matter if someone else wants a new partner all the time? To each their own.

Originally Posted by FacelessBeauty

Because we live in a society where it's okay for males to sleep around and seem like a champion, but women are made pariahs for being less exclusive with sexual relationships or being a little more risque in their choice of clothing. Sex is sex, point blank end of story. Why should it matter if someone else wants a new partner all the time? To each their own.

It is so much more complex than that.

Originally Posted by Chipps

It is so much more complex than that.

Why does it have to be?

Originally Posted by FacelessBeauty

Why does it have to be?

It has nothing to with having to be, it is, and always will be. Simple as that. People keep thinking things are going to "change" when there are reasons while certain expectations existed for people.

Originally Posted by Chipps

It has nothing to with having to be, it is, and always will be. Simple as that. People keep thinking things are going to "change" when there are reasons while certain expectations existed for people.

Even if things aren't going to "change," it makes no sense to me. There's nothing wrong with choosing to look at things differently or questioning the established order.

I was reminded of this song

In my experience it is mainly women that care about whether someone is a slut or not. I say someone because women object to men having many sexual partners in addition to objecting to their fellow sisters (if you can even describe the relationship as sisterhood...)
Am I incorrect?

As a male if a female is a slut it is good (for me, hopefully for her too). I don't see what the big deal is (unless she's in a relationship with me and is such a slut that she can't be faithful)

I guess because traditionally, women were the ones stuck with all the consequences of sex.

Women are the ones who release attachment hormones after sex with very little testosterone to mute it. Men are not chemically-psychologically bound in the same way.

Women are the ones who get pregnant, and once that happens, whether you choose abortion or childbirth, you're in for hell.

Women are the ones who are anatomically more vulnerable to catching STDs from men than vice versa.

Sure, there are ways to overcome the shackles that women innately have when it comes to sex (and even then, they're not guaranteed), but it's always going be an ordeal. Unlike men, who can skip around on their merry way, from woman to woman with nothing to slow them down besides conscious, moral considerations for the women they may be affecting.

I am only going to discuss what I've observed living in a Western society for my entire life, though other societies may be similar in some ways, sometimes the reasoning behind it is a bit different.

What is sluttiness to begin with? Promiscuity - in other words, having casual sexual relations, being indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners, etc. It seems strange to me that promiscuity may be looked down upon as much as it is today considering how common one night stands are. But it is usually women who are labeled sluts. "Sluttiness" is looked down upon mainly if it is a woman who is engaging in such behaviour. But why women and not men? I believe it is because there are different expectations and views placed on individuals that vary depending on their gender. Even though it may seem archaic, women are expected to be either chaste or relatively inexperienced when it comes to sex, to be sociable, warm, caring, among other things. If men are promiscuous, that is not as looked down upon as a woman being promiscuous. Men are even congratulated about their sexual conquests, as if their manhood is enhanced. Imagine the reactions of parents finding out their sixteen-year-old child is engaging in sexual activities. More likely than not, those parents would be less upset if their child was a son, rather than a daughter. At this point, some might bring up pregnancy, since it would be the daughter carrying a child if she got pregnant. However, children have two parents - the child is equally the boy's and therefore equally his responsibility so I don't understand the extra shame placed on teenaged mothers and not on the fathers.

People tend to look down on others whether or not the behaviour affects others or just the individual committing the act. Humans tend to have negative opinions of others if they do not measure up to our expectations. So this issue is mostly rooted in how society views women as there seems to be contradictory views held on sexuality that is not consistently applied to all individuals of any gender. People, generally speaking, do not tend to think about whether or not their judgment is doing more harm than good. Perhaps I am a bit pessimistic when it comes to people, but I do not believe that the majority of people evaluate their standards or attitudes. It seems as though many tend to unquestioningly adopt much of what they are taught to be true or untrue, good or bad by society and the media. This is why propaganda seems to work so well in the West.

If you want individual responses, I choose not to engage in promiscuous behaviour. I do not care about how others choose to love (unless they are harming others) and I don't judge my friends or acquaintances for promiscuous behaviour. However, I would prefer to marry a man who is also a virgin as it is important to me to marry someone who is similar to me in faith, lifestyle, sexual experience, goals, and in other things. I choose not engage in sexual activities outside of marriage as I do nott feel it is best for me, just as I choose not to drink or smoke and I hope he'd feel the same.

Originally Posted by marked174

I've been wondering lately, why do people hate "sluts" and their behaviour to the extent that they do. Most people have hierarchy when it comes to things like morals (murder is worse then lying), and it seems that slutyness is pretty high up there. This seems a little strange to me because "sluts" aren't really scarring anyone but themselves. I would think this would make us look at them with remorse rather than contempt. But what do you think? Are they doing more harm then we realize? How harshly should we judge their behaviour (if at all)? Why is the standard where it is and where should it be? What process should be used to determine this standard? What do you think?

I think the harm is not in what they do but if we outwardly accept the notion than we can not blame our daughters for becoming whores. Also, when I say the term whores, I say it loosely. I actually do not judge anyone who does it. If they are a mother, THEN I got something to say. It pains me if anything but I am generally quiet as I understand what they are doing is more about psychological and financial survival. Psychological survival? Whaaat? Yeah.

I think sometimes when people behave in what would be shameful behavior to others (even themselves) they are working through a process. They are holding back on healing psychological hurts (fractures). And even in the process of slacking on, bettering yourself, progress is being made - though not consciously. Sometimes ... we need to fall in order to fly. And sometimes ... in order to lead, one must follow. Life is not 2 dimensional. I would never "slut bash". IF however (which has happened once here, but not again) IF I find I like a person, and they hold an attitude towards something that can most definitely bite them in the ass later on .. I try to talk reason into them. But to be fair, it isn't my life. What I find reasonable is not what they might consider reasonable ... and so, as the dance goes ...

we learn from each other. Because we all have "blind spots" ...
And some are stuck in traffic, others are flying by ...
It's a balance.

Everybody has a purpose.
Everybody has their place.
Everything happens for a reason.

It is everyone's job ... to find their purpose ... understand their place,

and to create ... those reasons.