How to prevent that Fi Ride Of Doom

Hello all,

I got this idea from a similarly-named thread in Typology Central. The premise is the same, but I hope this time we’re going to get further than that thread, which made it to only three pages before it died and half of it consisted of discussing the premise.



Just to clarify, what I think the ‘Fi Ride of Doom’ is: it’s an over-reliance on Fi, which causes the user to only take in data to justify their own opinions. This makes the user hypersensitive to criticisms, and sees any opinions that don’t match their own as criticism to themselves on a personal level. Also, they have a problem with perceiving criticisms and slights to themselves where there none is intended. This can also manifest in difficulty in or inability to see others’ point of views, inability to take blame, thinking that the world is ‘against them’.

Of course I welcome discussion and differing opinions pertaining to the premise :), but I’d also like to see tips on how to handle this! I’m sure it will be helpful; I know I’ve been there before and at least a few other Fi-users here have as well.

Starting off, quoting the OP of said thread in TypoC:

“For an ISFP. Don't read into things. It is what it is. Deal with what is.” (man, I wish I heard that soooooo much earlier o_O)

My take: for Fi-doms, consciously exerting an effort to exercise your auxiliary functions would help tremendously.

Originally Posted by Kayness

My take: for Fi-doms, consciously exerting an effort to exercise your auxiliary functions would help tremendously.

I agree with this. With anything we want to change in ourselves, awareness and focus are the beginning. I've been able to make real change in myself this way over the course of the past year. Some of that has been about working to test and strengthen my tertiary Fi and inferior Ne.

The way I avoid the Fi-ride, which I totally understand, is by trying to put myself in the shoes of the opposition side. There's humanity behind every argument. When I notice myself getting automatically hostile toward a situation, I try to figure out why I feel that way, and if possible I address that. If I'm discovering a new topic, I try to learn information about all the sides at once instead of learning about one side at a time. This way I can establish emotional connections on multiple sides. If I have positive feelings towards several opposing views, I can examine them more closely and follow my heart to the best one.

I also approach a lot more decisions with my Ti than I do my Fi, but my Fi strategy is a very important one to me on issues I already feel a certain way about. I have to learn to psych myself out of hostility to get to the truth.

First take a deep breath - then really ask yourself "am I understanding this person? Maybe I should calm down and really listen to what they are saying" and "Have they said anything that makes this personal? Have they personally insulted me? Or am I just taking offense on behalf of others? Are they just stating an opinion?"

Sometimes if my Fi is going crazy I'll talk to someone I trust about the situation (usually a thinker because feelers usually care more about your feelings and comforting you then giving objective advice), and ask for their opinion on the subject. Sometimes talking through a problem with someone outside the drama can really help calm me down and clear my head.

To me, the Fi ride of doom feels more like i'm riding in self loathing, past mistakes, self criticism, negative impressions of myself by others. It's withdrawing further and further into myself and how "bad" I am. It is essentially despair and moderate avoidant personality. This experience is more Fi+si than Fi+ni however.It may be different for isfps.

How to stop it, in my case, is to seek new experiences/ideas. GET OUT of the house, get out of my head, read new ideas, explore new concepts and people etc. Use cognitive behavioural therapy to remodel thoughts. Use mindfulness to step outside of thoughts and feelings to merely observe (so you don't get carried away). Practice self compassion. Force myself (literally) out of my comfort zone. Utilise coping mechanisms to deal with new experiences.

awesomestuff guys :D

Hmm..if I understand Fi well enough (and to be sure I don't) I would say there are many different ways it could be triggered, and that the solutions may depend on the person's other functions and the way information is coming in.

Although I know I can subject myself to this Fi-ride of doom as you put it :), and want to improve dealing with it in myself, I'd also like to explore advice for helping others deal with it when you see them falling into that state.


I think it's easy for an initial response to criticism from others to be going on the defensive side. This is my immediate response, something I do not advocate, and something I have to consciously fight. So, while my initial reaction may be to get defensive, it usually only last a few seconds before I move to thinking, "How can I improve my performance? How can I improve this situation?" I move to looking for a solution. This usually results in my own personal improvement and growth, which ultimately makes me feel better (because I've improved myself).

Usually that works. I've had times when I couldn't find where I could improve though. This is when I have stayed on for the ride of doom and couldn't get off. In one example of this case, other people telling me that I do a good job had very little effect. I had already seen what I'd labeled as a failure. The only thing that really helped was knowing someone went a bit out of their way to make sure I was feeling okay. This is strange to me, because that in itself has nothing to do with the fact that I felt I wasn't able to perform as well as I should.


The other question I want to throw out in relation to this is this:

When you see someone else coming down on themselves, berating themselves, twisting what others say to imply some personal attack that wasn't meant to be, how do you approach that?

Sometimes I want to just tell them to suck it up, to stop with the self-pity. I don't want to coddle them. And I guess in some ways, this is the approach I've taken, but of course worded very differently. I try to approach it from the POV of what works for me. "Everyone can improve in different ways. Don't take criticisms personally. Constantly look for ways to improve."

But I realize that every person and every situation is different and that the above may not work or apply.

When someone is coming down on themselves, I also try to point out the times they have helped and positive things they have done and reassure of them that they are important to the team. It seems to fall on deaf ears though.

Originally Posted by Adesi

In one example of this case, other people telling me that I do a good job had very little effect. I had already seen what I'd labeled as a failure. The only thing that really helped was knowing someone went a bit out of their way to make sure I was feeling okay. This is strange to me, because that in itself has nothing to do with the fact that I felt I wasn't able to perform as well as I should.

I figured it out. When other people tried to affirm my performance capabilities, it was hard for me to take them as being sincere. They are saying that to make me feel better. I guess it was the actions that resonated more strongly for me than words of affirmation.